Saturday, June 26, 2004

Michael Moore is a big fat Republican!

I am now absolutely convinced that Michael Moore is a staunch Republican who backs our president 100%. Let's look at the facts. Moore is a:

Consummate capitalist: Moore is a top-notch self-promoter and marketeer, the hallmark of a true Republican capitalist [1].

Republican organizer: has rallied Republicans in support of Bush throughout the US.

Democratic disorganizer: helped fragment the left by convincing failed candidate General Wesley Clark to run against an already weak, crowded field.

Free-trade Outsourcer: believes in outsourcing American jobs to other countries, having run his own business in outsourced fashion.

Anti-Richard Clarke: has repudiated Richard Clarke's contention that Clarke, not Bush, approved the Bin Laden family's departure from the U.S. following 9/11.

Anti-Franken: has distracted America's limited attention-span for left-leaning pundits from Al Franken's monstrously unsuccessful Air America Radio, down to 15 markets world-wide. Moore's film might actually be a death blow for Franken's critically ill venture.

Galvanized the left against egregious anti-Bush rhetoric: even the left-leaning Slate has ralled against Moore's movie: "...To describe this film as dishonest and demagogic would almost be to promote those terms to the level of respectability..." - this from Christopher Hitchens, a columnist for Vanity Fair (of all places).

In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Moore is actually 6 feet tall, 180 pounds, lean and mean, with a sculpted, masculine figure... who only goes out in public in a fat- and ugly-suit to help galvanize support for W. [2]

The left looks at Michael Moore's film

[1] (there are also rumors that he lives in a palatial New York condo and sends his progeny to an elite private school, also evidence of a Republican background).

[2] While other have suggested that Moore should have titled his film "Fahrenheit 411", an eyeball esimate of his current weight, I refuse to stoop that low. Oops... did I say that out loud?

1 comment:

Unknown said...

I will probably watch this movie once it hits DVD. I really liked the Bowling for Columbine movie. I thought the attack on Charlton Heston at the end was inappropriate but the movie as a whole was very thought provoking. I give Mr. Moore a lot of credit for sparking debate and for making people look at things from new angles (even if they are plain wrong). The media pabulum we are generally served is very bland by comparison.

FYI: Politically, I don't think I fit well in either the Republican or Democrats camp. I'm more of a Libertarian, but not quite that either.