Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Slop du Jour

M*A*S*H - TV Season Three - 3 Tape Boxed SetThe new series of Comcast ads feature an old clip of Loretta Swit on the $10,000 Pyramid show (which, if inflation-adjusted, would be roughly $9.3 million dollars today, I believe). This got me thinking about M*A*S*H and, for some reason, the Colonel Flagg character. Flagg -- a kind of demi-secret military intelligence operative -- was a perfect combination of blowhard and ignoramus (kind of like a testosterone-fueled version of Maureen Dowd, come to think of it).

A quick search got me a comprehensive list of quotes from the show, the following of which are my personal favorites.

A device has yet to be invented that will measure my indifference to this remark. -- Hawkeye

Okay, Radar, state your business, in one word or less. -- Hawkeye

Well, what's the slop du jour? -- Hawkeye

I told you the food here should not be taken internally. -- Hawkeye

How would you like to donate a pint of blood through your nose? -- Trapper

The only thing Charles remembers fondly from his childhood is his hair. -- Hawkeye

Klinger, it's my considered opinion that no one is going to believe you are pregnant -- Henry

I'm sick of hearing about the wounded. What about all the thousands of wonderful guys who are fighting this war without any of the credit or the glory that always goes to those lucky few who just happen to get shot -- Frank

What a unique device, the human tush. An architectural wonder, one of a kind...actually two of a kind. Designed to support our weight for a lifetime of sitting it also has the subtlety to do the samba. And when attached to certain members of the female species at a time when light summer dresses are worn can cause some of us to drive our cars straight up a lamppost. - Hawkeye

You are the 10 most boring people I know -- Trapper to Frank

I don't mind eating if it's possible to make a martini sandwich. -- Hawkeye

I'd like a dry martini, Mr. Quoc, a very dry martini. A very dry, arrid, barren, desiccated, veritable dustbowel of a martini. I want a martini that could be declared a disaster area. Mix me just such a martini. -- Hawkeye

Don't play dumb with me, you're not as good at it as I am -- Flagg

I am only paranoid because everyone is against me -- Frank

Are you eating breakfast cereal or is that just a bad telephone line? -- Klinger

You look like an ad for death -- Hawkeye

M*A*S*H Quotes

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