Dave sent this one in:
A crusty old man walks into the local Baptist Church and says to the secretary:
"I would like to join this damn church."
The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"
"Listen up, damn it! I said I want to join this damn church!"
"I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this church."
The secretary leaves her desk and goes into the pastor's study to inform him of her situation.
The pastor agrees that the secretary does not have to listen to that sort of foul language. They both return to her office and the pastor asks the old geezer:
"Sir, what seems to be the problem here?"
"There is no damn problem," the man says.
"I just won $200 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to join this damn church to get rid of some of this damn money."
"I see," said the pastor. "And is this b**** giving you a hard time?"
Cue the rim-shot.