Thursday, June 10, 2010

Have Sympathy for the Vestigal Brain Stem of Al Franken

It's common knowledge that liberals and Democrats are intellectually inferior to conservatives (studies prove it). Scientifically speaking, this means the more liberal you are, the less capable you are of rational thought and basic analytical skills.

"Senator" Al Franken (D-ACORN) is the poster-boy for this well-known medical condition. Even without an MRI scan (we don't have the requisite 11 months that DemCare requires you to wait), we can safely say that Franken does not possess a fully developed human brain. It is likely that his cranium consists of little more than a vestigal brain-stem and some sawdust filler. Just enough neurons to keep the basics operating. Like breathing and crapping.

We know this because Franken's ideas are bottom of the barrel. Weapons-grade stupid. Exhibit "A": Stuart Smalley's plan for regulating the rating agencies.

The rating agencies are paid by the Wall Street banks, the very same people who are asking them to rate securities. One of the main causes of the financial crisis was too many investors around the world were relying on poor-quality research from the ratings agencies...

...Senator Al Franken, a Democrat representing Minnesota, has proposed a new board of “wisemen” to oversee the ratings agencies and select which agency a Wall Street firm can use.

Gee, that sounds incorruptible. Kinda like Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac: you know, the "wisemen" that governed the housing market.

Yes, this is just what we need: another set of masterminds that will perform central planning with far more efficiency than the free market.

It's an amazing world we live in. The fact that Franken remembers to breathe is really quite wondrous.

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