Thursday, March 03, 2011

President Launches Sweeping New Programs to Combat Government Redundancy, Bloat and Fraud [Biff Spackle]

"...We will launch a sweeping effort to root out waste, inefficiency, and unnecessary spending in our government, and every American will be able to see how and where we spend taxpayer dollars..." (Barack Obama, 1/28/2009)

By Cub Reporter Biff Spackle, reporting from Tampa

Citing reports that the federal bureaucracy wastes up to $200 billion annually in redundant and wasteful programs, President Obama today announced his Streamline 2011 initiative aimed at combating waste, fraud and abuse.

Streamline 2011 will create three dozen new federal offices that will spend the next 20 months reviewing all aspects of the government's operations -- including their own -- to determine whether the GAO's reports are accurate. At the conclusion of their efforts, just before the 2012 election, the offices will issue a joint, comprehensive report detailing their recommendations.

When asked why so many new offices were needed, the President responded with a rhetorical question. "We've all heard it," he said, "'Who watches the watchers?' To ensure that there are no conflicts of interest, each new office will examine one of its sister offices. We call this a 'Daisy Chain of Detective Work' and is the most foolproof, multi-faceted anti-redundancy program imaginable."

The president was optimistic that this approach would succeed in cutting down waste, noting that he hoped it would be "...just as effective as my deficit commission."

Continued on page D-12

1 comment:

Bones said...

You almost had me with this one.