Sunday, May 20, 2012

Grandma's Got a Gun

Papa B has an idea for a new entitlement program.

You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do?

Our plan offers anyone 65 years or older a revolver (no ammunition needed). We teach you how to carjack, rob passers-by, burglarize residences, and otherwise commit heinous crimes.


Of course, this means that you will be sent to prison where you will get three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating, air conditioning and all the health care you need!

Need new teeth? No problem. Glasses? That's great. Need a new hip, knees, kidney, lungs or heart? They're all covered.

As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you as often as they do now.

And who will be paying for all of this? It's the same government that just told you that you they cannot afford for you to go into a nursing home.

Plus, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income taxes anymore.

6 comments:

Joan of Argghh! said...

Ha! Step off, Doug! That's MY plan for retirement.

Three hots and a cot. What more does one need, really?

R said...

That was my uncle's plan in the seventies. He was a forward-thinking kind of guy.

Shayne said...

You forgot to mention Granny can also get gender reassignment surgery also.

Proof said...

Careful Granny! You'll put an eye out with that thing!

Anonymous said...

This is both funny and sad. The simple truth in it makes it both.

cmblake6 said...

Sounds an awesome plan!