Sunday, March 26, 2017

I Got Your #FakeNews Right Here

This evening, on Sixty Minutes, some jamoke named Steve Pelley tried to tar certain alternative conservative sites as "Fake News".

They did so by lumping legitimate, right-leaning opinion sites -- like Mike Cernovich's Danger and Play -- in with purely satirical sites.

It would seem that gen-you-eyen journalists like those at CBS News can't discern between their betters at Fox News and The Onion.

In the interest of transparency, and to assist CBS, I have compiled the ultimate list of #FakeNews stories that have circulated over the last decade or two:

• They told us that allowing law-abiding citizens to carry concealed weapons would turn our streets into rivers of blood. #FakeNews

• They told us that taking trillions of dollars and giving it to those “who truly needed it” would eradicate poverty. #FakeNews

• They told us that giving home loans to those who couldn’t afford them would make the American dream achievable for all. #FakeNews

• They told us that letting the federal government run our health care system -- and those of our veterans -- would reduce premiums and make care accessible for all. #FakeNews

• They told us that allowing millions of unvetted third-worlders -- from gang-bangers to professional moochers -- would make America safer. #FakeNews

• They told us that allowing teachers to unionize in public schools would help inner city students reach for the stars. #FakeNews

• They told us that letting the federal government put our savings into a Social Security “Trust Fund” would guarantee a comfortable retirement for everyone. #FakeNews

• They told us that the new employment paradigm consisted of millions of “green jobs”. #FakeNews

• They told us that their support for immoral and sexually deviant behavior wouldn’t result in the breakdown of the two-parent family. #FakeNews

• They told us that spending trillions on Stimulus programs would heal a damaged economy. #FakeNews

• They told us that raising taxes on corporations and “the rich” would create more jobs. #FakeNews

• They told us that slathering welfare payments and food stamps around in record numbers would help the economy. #FakeNews

• They told us that their record-breaking borrowing could never result in a downgrade of the United States’ AAA credit rating. #FakeNews

• They told us that Donald Trump had no chance to ever be elected President. #FakeNews

• And they told us that anyone who opposes their unconstitutional, un-American, reckless and failed policies are xenophobes and racists. #FakeNews

Oh, a favor: please pass along this fairly comprehensive list to CBS.

Related: Don't Cry for Me, America.
 

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Jamoke" Now there's an under used word to describe the state of American "Journalists"

fir3cubed

gwynn romano said...

Speaking of fake news, I remind everyone that 60 Minutes is itself fake news. Over the years several of its stories have later been proven to be total and utter BS. The first example that comes to mind is the "Runaway Audi" story of the late eighties. Three governments and two independent engineering firms proved the story to be hogwash and eventually 60 Minues conceded as much more than a year after the fact and at the end of the show when most people had already changed the channel.