Showing posts with label Immigration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Immigration. Show all posts

Saturday, May 01, 2010

Best. Idea. Ever: 'This way to San Francisco!'

Considering California's prevalent sanctuary cities -- and a proposed boycott of Arizona by San Francisco -- HillBuzz asks a wonderful question: What if conservatives put up billboards in Arizona, Texas, New Mexico, and Nevada pointing the way to San Francisco for illegal aliens?.

So I took a crack at illustrating the idea and added free shuttle buses to boot.

Come to think of it, we could do some signs for New York City as well. That idiot Bloomberg (the dopey Mayor, not the news service) is on record as decrying borders and enforcement of federal immigration law, stating, "This is not good for the country. I don't agree with it... We love immigrants here."

We love legal immigrants in Arizona and the rest of the U.S. But we can't selectively enforce some laws and not others -- lest we find most Americans ignoring other laws, like the feds' takeover of medicine, for instance.

HillBuzz has the scoop.


Hat tip: Larwyn.

Well, this is certainly non-P.C.

Papa B sent this in with the following missive:

'Current front-runner for toon o' the year.
'

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Mexico's Drug War Leaves 22,000 Dead as Violence Spreads to U.S. -- Democrats Side with Drug-Lords and Demand Open Borders

The scale of the three-year old drug war raging in Mexico -- and bleeding into the United States -- is difficult to comprehend. It takes a few illustrations to help make the point.

Thanks to the Los Angeles Times' Drug War project, the scope of the problem is as apparent as it is horrifying.


Many of the key players operate with impunity in Mexico and freely cross over to the United States with the help of corrupt Mexican officials. And violence is worsening as the Mexican government appears too crooked and too feeble to stop the drug-lords.

Three days ago in Morelia, the state public security chief was ambushed after leaving a state fair. Four were killed and the official was wounded after her armored SUV and bodyguard complement were attacked.

Four days ago in Ciudad Juarez, a 17-year-old passerby and at least seven officers were murdered as two police cars were ambushed. Mexican officials state that the vicious, midday assault was an attempt to retaliate for recent drug arrests.

Seven days ago in Morelos, a news report described a bloody swatch of lawlessness: "Bodies are turning up in piles, hanging from overpasses, chopped up and thrown together in trash bags dumped by the roadside... Nearly 50 people have been killed this year in gun battles and gangland-style executions."

The week before, the bodies of six young men -- some teenagers -- were found in the resort town of Acapulco. Parts of other bodies were found a few days later stuffed into a black plastic bag.

All told, more than 22,000 have died since President Felipe Calderon launched a new crackdown on the drug cartels.

22,000 dead. Beheadings. Hangings. Mass-murders. Bodies sliced into pieces. Killings of cops, government officials, judges, and innocents -- with the violence spreading daily into the U.S. and beyond. Remember. Remember this as the open-border Democrats pander to illegal aliens while they throw the legal residents of Arizona -- of all races, creeds and colors -- to the wolves.


Saturday, April 24, 2010

Obama: federal authorities will use the force of law to fight Arizona's 'misguided efforts' to enforce the law

Yesterday, after Arizona's Governor Jan Brewer signed legislation to strengthen border security with Mexico, the President was quick to react. Kind of like how he responded to urgent requests for more troops in Afghanistan.

Obama said that Arizona's efforts to enforce the most basic responsibility of any government -- to secure the safety of its citizens -- was "misguided". And, as you might expect, the President used the moment to throw in an advertisement for more open borders, i.e., "comprehensive immigration reform". Which is kind of like "comprehensive health care reform" and "comprehensive financial reform", only it will bankrupt the country even faster.

"Our failure to act responsibly at the federal level will only open the door to irresponsibility by others, that includes, for example, recent efforts in Arizona which threaten to undermine basic notions of fairness which we cherish as Americans, as well as the trust between police and their community that is so crucial to keeping us safe."

He added: "If we continue to fail to act at the federal level, we will continue to see misguided efforts opening up around the country."

He said he has instructed U.S. authorities to monitor the state's actions and to "examine the civil rights and other implications" of the legislation."

Governor Brewer's remarks during the signing were concise and on point.

"Respect for the rule of law means respect for every law... People across America are watching Arizona...

We in Arizona have been more than patient waiting for Washington to act... But decades of inaction and misguided policy have created a dangerous and unacceptable situation.

Misguided policies like chain migration, the product of Democrat Lyndon Baines Johnson, which caused legal immigration in this country to quadruple from about 250,000 annually to more than one million a year afterward.

The reality is stark: 83% of homicide warrants in Phoenix, AZ are issued for illegal aliens.

The Democrats' intent is as transparent as it is un-American: turn millions of illegals into citizens to give them the right to vote, with the firm belief that most of them will vote Democrat. Even if it means more murders, more illegal drugs, and more violent crime here in the U.S.


Friday, April 23, 2010

Arizona Governor Signs Law to Enforce Some Other Law, Outrage Ensues

Perhaps someone can explain the position of the pro-illegal immigration Democrats.

Let's make sure we understand: our borders don't matter to them. Our immigration laws don't matter. But other unconstitutional laws that Democrats pass, against the will of the American people, do matter.

Oh, I get it. Any law that increases government power is awesome. Especially if it benefits Democrats at the polls. Glad we clarified that.


Hat tip: Memeorandum. Linked by: Michelle Malkin. Thanks!

Related:


Counter Revolution


Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Knowing what we know now, will President Obama resurrect the need for a 'Civilian National Security Force' if Democrats retain power in November?

A week ago, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) pointed out that rating agencies were growing increasingly concerned with the United States' fiscal outlook.

More dismal news regarding our country’s fiscal standing was released yesterday by Moody’s Investors Service... ...the cost of servicing our debt is raising, therefore the United States has been brought "substantially" closer to losing our AAA, or highest level, credit rating.

"Under the ratings company’s so-called baseline scenario, the U.S. will spend more on debt service as a percentage of revenue this year than any other top-rated country except the U.K., and will be the biggest spender from 2011 to 2013."

...Before the State of the Union address, President Obama called for a freeze in discretionary spending. However, the budget for fiscal year 2011 he sent to Congress days later forecasts a record-breaking deficit of $1.6 trillion. Congress also recently voted to raise our country’s debt limit by $1.9 trillion to an astounding $14 trillion. These examples do not speak to fiscal restraint.

Despite these warnings, the irresponsible leaders of the Democrat Party ignored the will of the people yesterday and nationalized the health care system. Bachmann notes that the federal government now owns or controls about half of the entire U.S. economy

[They have] taken over Freddie, Fannie, Chrysler, GM, banks, AIG, student loans ... with this 18 percent [the health care system], that brings it up to 48 percent [of the private economy] that the federal government owns or controls. ... And they are not done.

No, they are not.

As oil prices inevitably rise -- thanks to the no-drill, no-refine policies of the Democrat Party -- the bureaucrats in Washington will ram through carbon taxes, cap-and-trade, "smart grids" and other "green" scams to confiscate more and more of your private property. As a result, they will control the production, delivery and use of all energy in the U.S.

Unpopular? Certainly. That's why Democrats -- and useful idiots like Lindsey "Goober" Graham -- will soon offer bills aimed at "comprehensive immigration reform".

That catch-phrase simply means that our borders will remain unsecured; our new, redistributive health, welfare and social services programs will incent new waves of illegal immigration; and Democrats will get the desired result: millions of new voters. And none of these illegals will have learned about or bought into our culture, our Constitution, our way of life, our language or anything else that contributes to a cohesive environment.

Not to be outdone, other liberals are working to restore the vote to the criminal population, another desirable Democrat demographic.

Near as I can figure it, the Democrat Party is actively working to destroy the American civil society. It appears to serve the interests of only the union bosses, the trial lawyers, government bureaucrats, illegal immigrants and felons. In other words, Democrats.

And, in the context of recent events, is it worth reconsidering the President's bizarre remarks last year regarding internal national security?

America must balance and integrate all elements of our national power. We can not continue to push the burden onto our military alone, or leave dormant any aspect of the arsenal of American capability. That's why my administration is committed to renewing diplomacy as a tool of American power and developing our civilian national security capabilities.

This was not the first time Obama expressed a desire for a powerful internal national security force. As a candidate in July 2008, Obama first enunciated the need.

In Barack Obama’s July 2, 2008 speech calling America to national service, Obama proposed “a civilian national security force that's just as powerful, just as strong, just as well-funded” as our military... This has prompted some in the blogosphere to raise the specter of a huge new domestic paramilitary organization. Others suggest that he may have been talking about our “current non-military security agencies...

He said: "We cannot continue to rely only on our military in order to achieve the national security objectives that we've set. We've got to have a civilian national security force that's just as powerful, just as strong, just as well-funded."

With the takeover of the health care sector, as Bachmann points out, Barack Obama has nationalized nearly half of the entire U.S. economy. Fourteen months ago, who would have thought such a thing possible?

And, if Democrats would retain control of Congress in November, is there any doubt that talk of an immediate need for a "Civilian National Security Force" would resurface?

Say, just to "preserve order" after the Acorn-types employed their usual tactics and flooded the system with absentee ballots.

To preserve this Republic, we are counting on you to marshal your neighbors, your friends and your families to help defeat the evil that the modern Democrat Party has become.

For, as Thomas Sowell has observed, November 2010 may well be "the point of no return."


Sunday, February 28, 2010

Illegal Immigration By the Numbers

240,000: the number of illegal immigrant sex offenders in the United States, a "conservative" estimate according to a study by the Violent Crime Institute. Over the 88-month study, illegal aliens were responsible for an estimated 960,000 violent sex crimes in the U.S.

4-10,000,000: the number of illegal aliens who crossed into the United States in 2005, bringing with them 5.6 to 11.2 million pounds of cocaine and 34.3 to 68.6 million pounds of marijuana. As many as 19,500 aliens originated in countries identified as state sponsors of terror, according to the Department of Homeland Security. This figure includes members of Hezbollah who have already entered the United States across the southwest border; and agents of Venezuela, which is providing falsified documentation for entry into the U.S. illegally.

$2,200,000,000: the amount spent on food assistance programs for illegal aliens including food stamps, WIC, free school lunches, etc. each year.

$2,500,000,000: the amount spent on Medicaid for illegal aliens annually.

$3,000,000,000: the approximate annual federal spending to house non-U.S. citizens in federal prisons, which represents roughly 30% of the prison population according to the Federal Bureau of Prisons. Most of non-citizen prison population is comprised of illegal aliens.

$12,000,000,000: the amount spent each year on primary and secondary public education for children in the U.S. illegally, many of whom cannot speak English.

$17,000,000,000: the amount spent each year on primary and secondary public education for American-born children of illegal aliens, known as 'anchor babies'.

$11-22,000,000,000: the amount spent on welfare for illegal aliens by state governments each year.

$50,000,000,000: the amount spent annually on providing welfare and social services to illegal aliens by federal taxpayers.

$200,000,000,000: the amount of "suppressed American wages" caused by illegal immigration and lax policies such as H-1B programs.

What are the true costs of illegal immigration to American citizens? In hard dollar terms, it's hundreds of billions -- all of which could be better used elsewhere, especially in these tough economic times.






Monday, February 22, 2010

"I had to go to the emergency room!"

Victor the Contractor writes:

The other day I needed to go to the emergency room. Not wanting to sit there for 4 hours, I put on my old Army fatigues and stuck a patch onto the front of my shirt that I had downloaded off the Internet.

When I went into the E.R., I noticed that 3/4 of the people got up and left. I guess they decided that they weren't that sick after all. Cut at least 3 hours off my waiting time.

Here's the patch. Feel free to use it the next time you're in need of quicker emergency service.

It also works at DMV. It saved me five hours.

At the Laundromat, three minutes after entering, I had my choice of any machine, most still running.

Don't try it at McDonald's though.........

The whole crew got up and left and I never got my order...

Hey, don't blame the messenger!


Monday, February 08, 2010

Did Democrat Open Border Policies Touch Off the Mortgage Meltdown?

Last year the Norfolk Crime Examiner featured a startling interview with a mortgage contractor who "personally audited thousands of sub prime loans."

"Over 50% of the subprimes were for cash-out refi’s. Regardless of the loan criteria used to pull random samplings for audits, the majority of the last names were Hispanic. The loans I audited were primarily in CA, NV, AZ, FL, CO, compare those to the states with the highest number of foreclosures [and] illegal aliens."

Are these figures plausible? Most assuredly. A June 2007 MarketWatch article confirmed that "...[m]ore than half of subprime loans are actually cash-out refinance loans... we see subprime offers all-over the place: 'consolidate your debts' or 'tap you home's equity,' the ads read. As Lee puts it, why not pay off credit cards with 18% annual interest rates with a 9% loan?"

The auditor continued, "One borrower stole the [social security number] of a retiree and took out $3.5 million in loans, turned around and did cash-out refi’s, then fled the country. The retiree was left with ruined credit, $3.5 million in loans and trouble with the IRS."

Interestingly, cash-out refi's hit a 16-year high in late 2006.

Because subprime cash-out refi's were known to have higher default rates well before this, a reckoning could have been predicted by regulators.

"During the bailout, I called my Congressman and other leadership including Barney Frank and asked if there was a provision within the Bill that prohibited illegal aliens from being bailed out…..the answer was no. I asked if there was a provision in the Bill that helped homeowners that did not take out subprimes but are faced with losing their home due to the negative impact of subprimes and was told... no. So in other words, those that committed crimes to obtain the loans will get a helping hand to bail them out, compliments of the US [t]axpayer!"

"Of course, we all know that, on October 26, 2001, President Bush signed the USA Patriot Act. However, I would wager to say that almost no one knows that contained in section 326(b) of the USA Patriot Act is a provision that allows US banks to accept Mexican Matricula Consular cards (MCCs) as a valid form of ID for opening bank accounts."

"It should be noted that while... Congress ordered American banks to recognize these Mexican-issued cards, there is not one Mexican bank which accepts their own government’s Matricula Consular card as a valid form of ID, because the bearer’s identity is basically untraceable."

In fact, members of the House Judiciary Committee confirm that Mexican banks do not accept Matricula Consular cards as valid identification.

In 2004, a Congressional effort to limit the use of MCCs was defeated by a consortium of financial institutions, immigrants’ rights groups, consumer groups, and many others. These organizations had formed a loose coalition to defeat, again, limitations on the use of consular ID cards by banks, credit unions, thrifts and other financial institutions.

By a vote of 222 to 177, the House passed a bipartisan amendment (HA 754), introduced by Representatives Barney Frank (D-MA), Pastor (D-AZ), Hinojosa (D-TX), Oxley (R-OH) and Kolbe (R-AZ). It prohibited the Treasury Dept. from implementing regulations regarding the acceptance of FCCs by financial institutions.

But prior to that hearing, the FBI was adamantly opposed to the use of MCCs as valid identification. Assistant Director Steve McCraw's testimony before Congress in 2003 was blunt: "...consular ID cards are primarily being utilized by illegal aliens in the United States. Foreign nationals who are present in the U.S. legally have the ability to use various alternative forms of identification -- most notably a passport -- for the purposes of opening bank accounts..."

The FBI identified a variety of problems with MCCs:

* There was no centralized database of MCCs
* There were no interconnected, local databases of MCCs and, therefore, no way to authenticate the validity of a card
* MCCs could be obtained with little -- and sometimes -- no documentation whatsoever
* MCCs were easily forged (90% in circulation had no security features at all)

In 2003, Gabriel Manjarrez, Senior Vice President and Hispanic Marketing Executive of Bank of America testified before the House Subcommittee on Financial Institutions and Consumer Credit. He explained, "...The first program I want to discuss is our initiative to accept the use of the Mexican consulate ID, the Matricula Consular. We developed this initiative [in 2001] because we wanted to make it easier for Mexican citizens living in the USA to have access to banking services from Bank of America... Today, every single Bank of America banking center recognizes the Matricula Consular as a valid form of identification."

At least a dozen U.S. banks and mortgage insurers offered home loan programs targeted at illegal aliens.

And anecodotal evidence would appear to confirm alarming abuse of the system; the infamous $720,000 mortgage to two pairs of illegal immigrants with a combined annual income of less than $50,000 comes to mind.

Consider the findings of the auditor: "Over 50% of the sub primes were for cash-out refi’s. Regardless of the loan criteria used to pull random samplings for audits, the majority of the last names were Hispanic. The loans I audited were primarily in CA, NV, AZ, FL, CO, compare those to the states with the highest number of foreclosures & illegal aliens."

* * * * * * * * *

Now that we -- the taxpayers -- have ownership stakes in most of the large banks, I have three very simple questions for the new stewards of the banks -- our Congress:

What's the total percentage of subprime loans that have defaulted?
What's the total percentage of subprime loans that used a Matricular Consular card as the primary ID that have defaulted?
And how is it that Barney Frank -- who appears to be at the intersection of every legislative and regulatory failing of the mortgage system -- isn't being investigated by every agency in the country?

The answers to these questions would appear to be critical to the avoidance of a future catastrophe. I would recommend that you contact your own banker and your fine, upstanding representatives in Congress.


Hat tip: Steve Sailer.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Government caller to Mark Levin show: Democrats planning 'Blue Card' amnesty program granting temporary legal status to illegals

A caller to the Mark Levin radio program on January 5, 2010 warned that buzz of a new amnesty program for illegal aliens is circulating through the federal government.

I could tell you on another point... in my employment, and I have to confess that I do work for the federal government.

...We have hard about something called 'The Blue Card', which is some attempt to take illegals and grant them a legalized status, for a path towards citizenship. This is something that has been rumbling around, kinda heard on the sly and off the cuff, no [official] weight behind it, but we heard it.

And it's basically to give them intended lawful until they can either pay their fine or whatever [path] is intended to make them legal. It's so they can claim a path toward citizenship.

And this is all an attempt to try to overwhelm 'us' -- the system -- by trying to push all [of] these agendas through at once so we don't know what fight is next... first it was cap-and-trade, then it was health care, and now this is coming through the backdoor.

Interestingly, the European Union adopted its own "Blue Card" system just last summer.

...the directive establishes more attractive conditions for third-country workers to take up highly qualified employment in the member states of the Union, by creating a fast-track procedure for issuing a special residence and work permit called the “EU Blue Card”.

The Blue Card will facilitate access to the labour market to their holders and will entitle them to a series of socio-economic rights and favourable conditions for family reunification and movement across the EU...

Under the rules set by the directive, EU Blue Card holders will enjoy equal treatment with nationals of the member state issuing the Blue Card, as regards... social security and pensions... access to goods and services, including procedures for obtaining housing, information and counselling services...

Whether or not the EU Blue Card has any relationship to, or influence of, the Obama Blue Card is left as an exercise for the reader.


Sunday, December 13, 2009

AP's Andrew Taylor Invents Brand-New Phrase!

While laying down covering fire for the Democrats' Cloward-Piven-esque efforts to destroy the full faith and credit of the U.S. currency, Andrew Taylor of the Associated Press invents a brand new term.

The $1.1 trillion measure combines much of the year's unfinished budget work... into a 1,000-plus-page spending bill that would give the Education Department, the State Department, the Department of Health and Human Services and others increases far exceeding inflation.

The 60-34 vote met the minimum threshold to end the GOP filibuster. A final vote was set for Sunday afternoon to send the measure to President Barack Obama.

The measure combines $447 billion in operating budgets with about $650 billion in mandatory payments for federal benefit programs such as Medicare and Medicaid. It wraps together six individual spending bills and also contains more than 5,000 back-home projects...

"Back-home projects"?

"Back-home projects"?

Would those be the billions in wasteful spending that used to be called "earmarks"?

The very same projects that candidate Barack Obama promised to scrutinize, stating "...we need earmark reform... when I'm president, I will go line by line to make sure that we are not spending money unwisely."?

But there isn't enough money to defend the homeland against illegal aliens who are arrested for criminal activity, so Congress is slashing spending on that program.

California and other financially strapped states will lose tens of millions of federal dollars that they spend to jail illegal immigrants charged with crimes, under Congress' latest spending bill...

...Overall, spending for the program would fall from $400 million to $330 million for the State Criminal Alien Assistance Program, or SCAAP, which President Barack Obama had targeted for elimination. It's a formula grant program that provides aid to states and localities for correctional officer salary costs incurred for jailing criminal undocumented immigrants.

To be clear: Congress is able to devote billions of taxpayer funds for 5,000 of their pork-filled earmark projects but can't locate $70 million for a program that has bipartisan support in the states most affected by gang and other criminal activities conducted by illegal aliens. It may be trite to say that innocent people will assuredly die because of this ill-considered decision; but it's also spot-on.

These irresponsible Democrats are useless, sixties-retread radicals; and they need to be thrown out of office in 2010. They have clearly violated their oaths of office -- and the first duty of all elected officials -- to defend and uphold the Constitution.


Saturday, July 25, 2009

Amnesty disguised as Health Care Reform


What could be the real rationale for Democrats ramming health care reform down our throats? A witness to a conference in Washington last month described the nature of their efforts.

I want to tell you that last week I attended a conference on health care reform sponsored by La Raza. And I will tell you that what they had to say, Mark, is scarier than anything that's been said so far on the health care plan.

The kind of comments that were made and the notes that I took... they started the conference out by saying "America does not need health care reform, but Latino immigrants need health care reform."

And someone from Menendez' office [Ed.: Sen. Robert Menendez, D-NJ] promised that he would make sure that "the useless barriers of citizenship would not be in this bill" and that he would make sure that they would use keywords like "streamline"...

It was La Raza, the Childrens Defense Fund and Senator Menendez from New Jersey, a representative from his office...

...Yes [they said they would get free health care for illegal aliens], these are my notes, Mark. They actually got up and said "Latino children need health care more than whites". And then they would say things like "you must go out into your communities, use words like 'streamline', use phrases like 'all workers' and 'all families'," because they said -- and I quote -- "If the American people find out that this bill is about giving health care to non-citizens, they will rise up against it."

...One of the quotes they said was, "We want to make sure we take care of barriers like verification, but we can streamline programs to the more affluent" and, quote, "Useless treatments for the elderly can be gone because we don't need to spend money for people who are going to die anyway."

That's a direct quote from that meeting. They also said, "We are very concerned there will be an effort to include" the illegal immigrants in this argument, so "we must make sure that we focus this" to the American people that it's looking like we want "health care for everyone".

And they also said that 75% of the children who will be picked up in this will be non-citizens and that 44% of the uninsured are non-citizens and they can't possibly allow the American people to know this." [Ed: Oops!]

Menendez' office said that he's going to make sure that "a family of four that makes $66,000 a year or less will pay nothing at all for the new health care. And he was the one who said he was going to get rid of specifics like "citizenship status" and focus on, quote, "equity for all workers".

And he said he's going to make sure that the Latino immigrants are the focus of the health care reform.

And La Raza said if they get this, they don't even care about amnesty, because they've fixed it so that one family member can apply for all extended family members. And... Mark, if you think we have a problem with illegal immigration now, wait 'til you see the borders when this thing gets passed.

"If the American people found out?"

Gee, what a surprise. A group that preaches racial superiority and divisiveness wants to enact a stealth illegal immigration bill -- not dissimilar to chain migration. The bill will reward illegal immigration to the direct detriment of all American taxpayers and especially the elderly.

Kind of puts Judge Sotomayor's membership in La Raza in a new light, doesn't it?

Groups like La Raza encourage the Balkanization of America. They promote mutually hostile political groups that do not form a "melting pot", that do not utilize a common language, and that do not share the principles of America's founding.

Fifty years from now, if La Raza gets its way, America will look more like Yugoslavia in 1993 than America.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Action: Contact Senator Robert Menendez at 202 224-4744, 973 645-3030 and 856 757-5353 and politely tell him we know what he's up to with this health care bill, that illegal immigration is not tolerated by the citizens of New Jersey, and that we will expose him -- as the anti-American traitor that he is -- to the public.

As for those who belong to or support either La Raza or The Children's Defense Fund, I would strongly encourage you to drop your membership and support. The racial divisiveness promoted by these outrageous groups is antithetical to America's civil society.

It's time to politically punish these cretins who are out to dismantle our country.



Update: A press release issued by La Raza on 6/15 mirrors the caller's report (hat tip: Oil for Immigration):

As our nation’s leaders consider health care reform in the coming weeks, NCLR (National Council of La Raza), the largest national Hispanic civil rights and advocacy organization in the United States, strongly urges President Obama and Congress to make every effort to ensure that health care reform reaches all communities. No single community stands to gain as much from this important debate as Latinos. In the U.S., one out of every three uninsured persons and roughly 40% of all uninsured children are Latino. NCLR stands for health care reform that makes coverage affordable and accessible for everyone—all families and all children.

..."This debate should be about health care for all, and setting the nation on a pathway to future health and well-being. Adding layers of immigrant verification and bureaucratic red tape to a new health care system would guarantee that millions of citizen children are effectively barred from accessing preventive care and would raise the cost of health care... we are extremely concerned that some view health reform as a way to scapegoat immigrants... Making health care easier to use and accessible for all workers and children is simple common sense."



Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Finally: Universal Healthcare for Everyone!


I'm Barack Obama and thank you for watching my forty-second prime time broadcast over the course of my young administration. Tonight I'll be discussing two issues important to all Americans: Universal Health Care and immigration.

I'll be frank: when we say that 47 million Americans don't have health care, we're including a sizable chunk of undocumented immigrants -- you may know them by the term "illegal aliens".

Ever since the era of Lyndon Baines Johnson, we Democrats have promoted open borders, amnesty for illegals, chain migration and a path to citizenship for anyone who enters the country.

And the Reds beat the Braves, 9-3 behind a complete game from -- dammit, Rahm, my teleprompter is picking up ESPN again!

Uh, ehm, with Mexico's government crumbling under the twin weights of a global economic meltdown and brutal drug cartels, the President of Mexico -- Vicente Fox -- and I have come up with a simple, but effective, plan.

It combines universal health care, an open border with Mexico and a "superhighway to citizenship" for anyone entering the country.

Because of this policy, there will be no need for politically incorrect designations like "illegal aliens", because anyone entering the country can automatically become a citizen of the United States and Mexico.

So instead of the loaded term "illegal aliens", we'll simply call them "Democrats".

Suck on that, Rove!

Best of all, everyone in the United States and Mexico will get the same free, high quality health care. Partying in Cancun and catch the Swine Flu? No problemo, mi amigo!

Visiting your relatives in San Antonio and sprain your ankle? Simply walk into any convenient Social Security Office or Bureau of Motor Vehicles location, take a number, and enjoy the free Muzak and complimentary General Motors Magazines while you wait.

We call this tremendous new program: La Raza-Care.

La Raza-Care combines all of the benefits of open borders with a multi-country health care system second to none.

Now to pay for this, I am sorry to report that the massive tax cut for 95% of Americans that we recently implemented will have to be dismantled. Along with that, we will be making a few, minor changes to the tax code. So minor, in fact, you will hardly notice them.

* Under the new tax code, your refund check goes directly to ACORN.

* For a vacation to Mexico to count as a business trip, you must return with 100 or more pounds of government-grade marijuana.

* Attorney General Eric Holder gets to write off the entire United States Constitution.

* I can claim my teleprompter as a dependent.

* Finally, all registered Democrats will get a deduction for mortgaging our entire future.

I'm sure you have a lot of questions about this tremendous new program. So we've set up a website to explain your benefits at LaRazaCare.gov and, in español, LaRazaCare.mx. Happily, both sites accept donations for my 2012 campaign.

We'll soon be enjoying the same wonderful care that our veterans receive at the VA thanks to the leadership of Congress. I'd like to personally thank Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Christopher Dodd, Barney Frank, Charlie Rangel and Diane Feinstein who rammed this through using an arcane procedural loophole without debate, transparency or discussion!

Best of all, La Raza-Care will have the same firm economic foundation enjoyed by Medicare and Medicaid!

So bless you my friends, and may the Lord keep you safe from harm. You'll need it. Adios, Amigos!