Showing posts with label Water-cooler. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Water-cooler. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Contractor Award Nominee for the month of March


G sent in the March nominee.

This is a pic of a pedestrian tunnel going to a parkade. What was "supposed" to happen was that the water would get shut off, the pipe then re-routed under the tunnel and finally the water turned back on.

Instead the contractor built around the pipe. How are pedestrians to get over it? Jump? What about the handicapped?

Best of all: the tunnel was built under a street and there is another parkade exit also over this tunnel. Now the street will have to be re-closed, the parkade exit re-routed "again" so that this pipe can be dug up and run where it was supposed to have been....

Delay time??? unknown...

Well done, mystery contractor!


Also see: The 2008 Contractor Awards.


Sunday, March 15, 2009

Twoface: the trailer



What do you call yourself?
Barry Milhaus Obama. But you can call me TwoFace.

A film by

We gotta get money. We get money, then we get power. We get power...

David Axelrod

You stay loyal to me, Tony Rezko, and the sky's the limit.

Me, I want what's coming to me.
Well... what's coming to you?
The world, Rahm-o. And everything in it.

I always tell the truth, Barry, even when I lie.

You gotta look in your eye, like you haven't had sex in years.

Tee hee!

You're a small-timer, Rezko. I'm big-time. I'm moving on.

Look, I helped you buy your house. I supported your first campaign... please, can't we come to some arrangement??? Please?

Rahm-o, you keep your eyes and hands away from Michelle...

Stay away from her!

My nightclub...

*** RATTATTATTATT ***

*** RATTATTATTATT ***

I told you, Barry -- don't f*** me. Don't you ever try to f** me.

You think I'm scared of Bill Clinton? Well, f*** Bill Clinton! And f*** James Carville!

He's won the nomination? Running to the left of Hillary? Why that son-of-a-...

It's Wednesday night. Party night. And no one's coming to me.

To the f***ing White House!

I'm BARRY OBAMA!!! SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE IDEOLOGY!!

It's Tea Party Time, Obama! We're comin' for you!

Twoface. Coming soon to theaters everywhere.



Linked by: Gateway Pundit. Thanks!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Photos o' the day


U.S. troops brutalize children in Baghdad; dizziness results (Flopping Aces)

Photos of Columbia, MO Tea Party Protest (MoneyRunner)


Google Street Views travels into Earth's post-apocalyptic future, captures Mad Max V8 Interceptor (Jalopnik)


Actual transcript of conversation in my car today


Scene: Dad picking up his daughter, a junior in high school, after she had taken an SAT test.

Dad: How'd you do, honey?

Daughter: I know I did really well on the writing part.

Dad: How do you know?

Daughter: I used a lot of really big words, like ew-bee-cute-tis.

Dad: Ew-bee-cute-tis?

Daughter: You know, it means, like, "everywhere".

Dad: You mean "ubiquitous"?

Daughter: Yeah.

Dad: Oh, for the love of...



Thursday, March 12, 2009

Bus ride


Don't blame me, Dave W. sent this one in.

Two bowling teams, one consisting of all Blondes and one with all Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend trip to Louisiana. The Brunette team rode on the bottom of the bus, and the Blonde team rode on the top level.

The Brunette team down below really whooped it up, having a great time, when one of them realized she hadn't heard anything from the Blondes upstairs. She decided to go up and investigate.

When the Brunette reached the top, she found all the Blondes in fear, staring straight ahead at the road, clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles. The brunette asked, 'What the heck's going on up here? We're having a great time downstairs!'

One of the Blondes looked up at her, swallowed hard and whispered... 'YEAH, BUT YOU'VE GOT A DRIVER!?!'

Monday, March 09, 2009

Behind the teleprompter, episode 408






Georgia Lotto winner!


Papa B sent this one in.

Can you believe it?


Man wins Georgia lottery on Wednesday, finds love of his life two days later.


Talk about luck!!!




Is America A Great Country Or What?

Friday, March 06, 2009

Transcript of a dinner conversation with the In-Laws


Dad-in-law: You know, every morning she (points to Mom-in-law) does the Sa-da-ku on USA and never lets me do it.

Mom-in-law: Fine, all you need to do is to download it from USA dot com and print it out.

Dad-in-law: I don't want to!

Mom-in-law: Okay, I'll print it out for you then.

Dad-in-law: Don't bother.

Mom-in-law: Why don't you do the one in the local paper then?

Dad-in-law: No, that one's too hard!

Mom-in-law: Then why don't you do the Crypto-Kwik?

Dad-in-law: Oh my God, that's too hard!

Me: Why are you putting Sweet-N-Lo in your water?

Mom-in-law: He makes his own Lemonade.

Me: Why, how much is a lemonade?

Dad-in-law: They charge two dollars!

Dad-in-law: Waiter, could you get me a glass of water with five or six lemon slices?

(Sound of my forehead hitting table)

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Presidential Jeopardy



Welcome back to Jeopardy, ex-President's Edition!


I'm your host Alex Trebek. Our current score... ex-President Carter is stuck at zero dollars, ex-President George Herbert Walker Bush is leading with $3900, and ex-President Bill Clinton is in second place with $200.

President Bush, you control the board...


I'll take Ghastly Gaffes for $600, Alex...


This person admitted to the theft and destruction of top secret documents that were about to be subpoenaed by the 9/11 Commission.


Who is George W. Bush?


Uhm, I'm sorry, President Carter, but that's incorrect. In fact, you've answered "George W. Bush" on every single answer and so far you've been wrong each time, sir...


Who is Sandy Berger?


That's correct. You still control...


Ghastly Gaffes for $800, please, Alex...


The answer is: this president's administration sustained a series of eight major terrorist attacks on U.S. interests without fighting back, including the first attack on the World Trade Center.


Who is George W. Bush?


***sigh***


Who is the war-mongering, imperialist, running dog lackey of the oil companies, George W. Bush?


Uhm, no, President Clinton, adding some titles to the same wrong answer doesn't help. You're back to zero.


Who is President Clinton?


Correct again. Still your board.


I'll take Ghastly Gaffes for $1,000, please.


This president facilitated the coming to power of Marxists in Nicaragua, religious despots in Iran, signaled the Soviets that he wouldn't lift a finger if they invaded Afghanistan, thereby facilitating the rise of the extremist militancy that ended up spawning 9/11... and presided over an economic catastrophe culminating in 18% inflation and 11% unemployment.


Who is George W. Bush?


It still amazes and frightens me that you were somehow elected President. No, that's incorrect. Again.


Who is John Quincy Fillmore?


For the love of...


***sigh***


Who is Jimmy Carter?


That is correct! Oh, thank goodness, the music is telling us it's time for Final Jeopardy... and the Final Jeopardy answer is "He was, hands down, America's worst President of all time"...


$#!@!!!


$#!@!!!


Hehe... this oughta be entertaining...


While you write your responses down, we'll recap scores. President Bush is in the lead with $5900, while Presidents Carter and Clinton are tied with zero...


And now it's time to unveil your responses...


Hmmm... I'm sorry, Presidents Carter and Clinton, but arrows don't qualify as valid responses, not that it would matter with your scores of zero...


President Bush, I'm pleased to say that you're our winner! And, since you wagered the entire $5900, you've ended up with $11,800 for your favorite charity...


Thanks, Alex, and I appreciate the opportunity to put some of our recent history in perspective.

Although, if we spend a few more months on the current course, we could easily have a different answer.

I mean question.