Showing posts with label Water-cooler. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Water-cooler. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

You might be a redneck if...


What's that...? You say don't have a big pickup to tow your gooseneck trailer? Fear not! With a little careful, well thought-out engineering, you can solve your problem...

May I present the Class III Hitch Install (patent pending)?

Added some super heavy-duty chain for extra support on the tailgate (note the 'Heavy-Duty 'S' hooks to attach the chain). Also paid-up for some big Number 5/16 sheet metal screws to attach the Reese hitch frame to the tailgate (see 'em there -- one on each side?). Likely two more through the carpet into the floor pan inside...

Yep, probably overkill, but didn't want the possibility of having an axerdent.

Most of the time was spent on the front porch whittling down that MASSIVE solid pine 4x4 to fit precisely down into the hole in the ball mount receiver. Note also: The 14'x14' piece of 3/8' plywood on the underside of the tailgate to distribute the load more evenly and beef up that tailgate support.

A man can't be too safe!

She's hitched up and ready to roll!! Amazin' how the extra weight smoothes out the ride.

Needed to air up the rear tires a bit ('bout 160 psi).

They are out there, folks... and they vote (Democrat).

Hat tip: TDR

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Cub-cam


London's Daily Mail features some great photographs of lions snapped by a hidden camera on the plains of Africa.

On a lazy afternoon in the Masai Mara, southern Kenya, three lion cubs are roused from their siesta.

Spotting something in the grass, the inquisitive trio move in for a closer look.

Captured by a remote camera disguised with elephant dung and grass, these intimate images give a unique insight in to the life of a jungle king...

Bling bling, Everytime I come around yo city, Bling bling


These Russian "barons" put the bling in bling-bling.



IZI has all of the photos.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Our vanishing rednecks


Dee sent this one in.
















Related: Why we love the South.

More toys from our youth that would be illegal today


After writing about the Johnny Seven One Man Army rifle (a toy from the sixties that Chuck Schumer would personally ban), I resurrected this old list. If you can think of more toys that would be completely illegal today, please let me know in the comments.

Jarts! a.k.a. "Lawn Darts." I'm not sure how many thousands of punctured limbs these things were responsible for, but the class-action lawyers must have cleaned up.

Tonka Dump Trucks: fabricated entirely from Ginsu knives by Tonka. They could slice fingers off if slightly mishandled.

Stretch Armstrong: the kind filled with jelly. If these were sold today, a hypo-allergenic, ADD nutcase would swallow the jelly, get sick, and his parents would sue the Chinese manufacturer. The entire episode would be the basis for a 20/20 special hosted by John Stossel; Nancy Grace and Greta would also devote a week of shows to the injustice.

Bow and arrows: remove the suction-cups from the ends of the arrows and -- whhoooooeeee -- you really could put an eye out; and I'm sure some kids did.

Bangsite!: evil-smelling, granular crap that came in an industrial-strength toothpaste tube -- it may have been calcium carbide. Mixing Bangsite with water made an explosive gas. Some kids had Bangsite cannons, heavy cast iron things that were relatively safe to use. Normal kids took a metal baking soda can and punched a nail hole through the bottom. This turned the can into a three-man, crew-served weapon. One kid tipped some Bangsite into the can, spat on it, jammed the lid on, and placed the can on the edge of the curb. Second kid put his foot on the can to brace it. Third kid applied the match to the nail hole. KAF---INGBOOM!!! -- with a burst of flame, the lid goes flying clear across the street. I still cannot believe that my parents knew I was doing this, and let me.

Airplane, ship and tank models: yep, we spent hours in our rooms with model glue... and our parents didn't care a bit. These days, an ambulance would be called and our rooms fumigated for a month.

Flexy Racers: a sled on wheels that was missing only one thing: brakes. These mysteriously disappeared from the market after -- I'm guessing here -- some kid rolled onto the Interstate and got pancaked by an 18-wheeler.

Wrist Rockets: basically a weapons-grade slingshot that fit around your wrist and used massive rubber tubes as the bands. The ammo was indistinguishable from a heavy ball bearing. Slightly less powerful than a .357 Magnum, and slightly more powerful than a .38.

Snow sleds with steel runners: on a decent hill, you could hit 70 MPH and some kids did, may they rest in peace.

Water-air rockets: I don't remember the brand, but this was a rocket that you filled with water and then pumped full of air. Let's just say that after a couple of hundred concussions and numerous missing teeth, it was removed from the market.

I'm sure I've missed dozens. Let me know in the comments if you can think of other noteworthy dangers from our youth.

Updates:

Commenter Airedale remembers Crazy Clackers, "...a string with a golf ball sized glass marble. I use to see those things wrapped around telephone pole lines. They were ninja weapons in the wrong hands....which meant every kind of kid had the ability to give themselves permanent brain damage if they got a bit too curious with these miniature bolos."

Commenter Paul J. recalls the Kenner Mold Master (I had one of those!): "Hot soft plastic you poured into into a mold and made toy guns and vehicles. Rarely came out right but you could reuse the plastic. How many times I burned my fingers I could never say. How I didn't burn the house down who knows."

Exceller observes that a chemistry set and the ubiquitous Slip-n-Slide could be highly hazardous as well.

Update II: After a little research and Tom P.'s comment, I think I actually had a Mattel Thingmaker and not a MoldMaster.

This was a freaking hotplate that allowed you to bake goop in molds. What could possibly go wrong with 300-degree plastic goop?


Linked by: Doug Powers, who reminds us of the brilliant Irwin Mainway. Thanks!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Comeback of the Year Nominee


Sent in by Dave W.: If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility...

Q: 'Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'

A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'

Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?'

A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'

Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'

A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'

Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'

A: 'Yes sir, we do!'

Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'

A: 'Yes sir, I do.'

Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'

A: 'Yes sir.'

Q: 'Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'

A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'

At this point, the courtroom exploded with laughter and a recess was called.


They don't make toys like this anymore


When I was in first grade, I was green with envy over a single toy owned by my next-door neighbor and best friend. His parents had bought him a Johnny Seven OMA.

In the sixties, the Johnny Seven OMA (One Man Army) was the ultimate toy firearm. It integrated seven distinct weapons (thus the Johnny Seven) into a single chassis:

* Grenade
* Anti-Tank Rocket
* Armor-Piercing Shell
* Anti-Bunker Rocket
* Repeating Rifle
* Tommy Gun
* Automatic Pistol

All of the firing mechanisms were attached to the main rifle assembly - the pistol inserted from the bottom to provide the rifle grip (the pistol also held caps for authentic firing sounds). The main ammunition included various sized white bullets that would "shoot" from the barrels via spring-action. The rockets and grenade also fired via spring-action. The weapon featured a working bipod that provided stability for the various rockets and grenade. The stock could be removed to shorten the weapon while in Tommy Gun mode. The toy when fully assembled is over three feet long.

Decades later, I still remember the Johnny Seven and how my parents would never spring for one.

But I'm not bitter.

Honestly, though, if a kid was walking around with a Johnny Seven these days, they would call in a SWAT team and a hostage negotiator. And Chuck Schumer would hold a press conference to get more face time on TV.

Man, how times have changed.



Update: More Toys That Would Be Completely Illegal Today.

Linked by: American Digest and Six Meat Buffet. Thanks!