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Showing posts with label Water-cooler. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Water-cooler. Show all posts
Thursday, July 09, 2009
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
Now that's a prom entrance!
The London Daily Mail:
Two teenage girls took the concept of getting all dolled up for the school prom to an extreme - dressing as life-size Barbie dolls and being wheeled in still sealed in their boxes.Sammy Burns and Megan Barton, both 16, wanted to arrive in something more original than a stretch limo or black cab... It took a fortnight to make the 6ft-high boxes out of cardboard, wallpaper and pink paint - complete with barcodes, price tags and the logo of Barbie manufacturer Mattel.
Sammy Burns, in black, and best friend Megan Barton were wheeled into the prom by Sammy's uncle Glenn Lawrence and her brother Tom... Sammy's uncle Glenn Lawrence, 38, and her brother Tom Burns, 18, dressed as delivery boys to wheel the girls to the entrance of the hotel venue...
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Another Dream Shattered
Sunday, July 05, 2009
A Brief Interlude in the Oval Office
I'm in some real trouble with Michelle.
What do you mean?
She picked up my trousers off the floor last nightand noticed lipstick marks on the seat of my pants.
Well?? What happened?
I admitted that they were from Jennifer Loven and Gary Trudeau,but assured her the three of us have a strictly platonic relationship.
Saturday, July 04, 2009
The Hollywood Squares -- Classic Comebacks
'Borrowed' from S, C & A:
Q. If you’re going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That’s what’s been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he’s married?
A. Rose Marie: No- wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say ‘I Love You’?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
Q. What are ‘Do It,’ ‘I Can Help,’ and ‘I Can’t Get Enough’?
A. George Gobel: I don’t know, but it’s coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I’ll give you a gesture you’ll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I’m too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what’s a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I’m always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn’t neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I’ll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.
Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!
(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)
Friday, July 03, 2009
Thursday, July 02, 2009
Do you feel stimulated yet?
The new crap is available at Cafepress.
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Coffee mugs? We got 'em. Bumper stickers? Got them, too. Glock 30's? Eh, Cafepress turned down my request to carry them.
2009 Contractor Award Nominees for June
Cory sent these in. There are a couple of sure-fire winners in the category of best barbecue hack.





















Related: 2008 Contractor Awards.
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
The Club

Hat tip: Papa B -- one of my favorite paintings. Linked by: Patriot Room and Common Sense Junction. Thanks!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Was His Birth Foretold?
It works for Luke Skywalker... and Neo... and Barack Obama...
A paradigm some teachers use for wrestling literature into submission is a checklist for heroes. Students may not see many of the different strata of a great story. They might miss the symbolism or the message or how the story applies to their own lives or the lives of others. Now I'm not necessarily endorsing the checklist (often called the Monomyth as laid out by Joseph Campbell), and I'm certainly not saying it's the only way to get the most out of the layers of stories that twang something deep inside us but we can't quite articulate why they do so. Generally, though, stories of heroes which last from generation to generation tend to deal with many of the issues in this list:• Oracle of conflict
• Significant birth (often miraculous)
• Hiding of the child/exposure
• Rescue and rustic rearing
• Preparation and Meditation, withdrawal
• Call to adventure
• Departure on Quest
• Road of Trials/Tests/Tribulations
• Ritualized (often) death or scapegoating
• Descent into the underworld
• Rebirth
• Atonement with Father/God (apotheosis)
Think about it in terms of significant figures from history, and it after a while you begin to say, "Yeah, yeah... I see that. Yeah, it's just like Jesus, or King Arthur, or..."
Read the rest at Denny's place.
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