...I'll have the DozenBurger.

Gertrude Baines, who lived to be the world's oldest person on a steady diet of crispy bacon, fried chicken and ice cream, died Friday at a nursing home. She was 115. Baines, who remarked last year that she enjoyed life so much she wouldn't mind living another 100 years, died in her sleep, said Emma Camanag, administrator at Western Convalescent Hospital.
The centenarian likely suffered a heart attack, said her longtime physician, Dr. Charles Witt. An autopsy was scheduled to determine the cause of death.
...Staff at Baines' nursing home described her as a modest woman who liked to watch the "Jerry Springer Show" and eat fried chicken, bacon and ice cream. She refused to use dentures.
"I don't know how she does it. She only has her gums, no teeth," said Susie Exconde, the nursing director who found Baines dead in her bed at about 7:25 a.m...
• Phone conversations last 30 secondsTEXAS DEPUTY SHERIFF vs NEW YORK LAWYER: Only in Texas my friends... Only in Texas... Too bad...A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy.
He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York
and is certain that he has a better education then any cop from Houston , TX .
He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Texas deputy's expense.
The deputy says, "License and registration, please."
"What for?" says the lawyer.
The deputy says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."
Then the lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."
"You still didn't come to a complete stop," says the deputy. "License and registration, please."
The lawyer says, "What's the difference?"
"The difference is you have to come to complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!" the Deputy repeats.
Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop,
I'll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket.
If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."
"That sounds fair. Please exit your vehicle, sir," the deputy says.
At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the daylights out of the lawyer and says, "Do you want me to stop, or just slow down?"
God Bless Texas
A man was riding his Harley along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head....
In a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish." The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want." The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required to reach to bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time, and think of something that could possibly help mankind."
The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, "Lord, I wish that I, and all men, could understand our wives; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make my woman truly HAPPY."
And the Lord replied......
"You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
Window cleaning... made simple!
It's the Do-it-yourself Diving Board Kit, from Blam-O!
Nothing can possibly go wrong with sharp pointy objects used as fasteners.
Spotless bathrooms are overrated.
Danger: Hard-sombrero zone!
Human bungee cords are smart bungee cords!
Pickup trucks? We don't need no steenkin' pickup trucks!
The serenity of a cool, shady spot -- a place to relax and decompress.
Joe's Discount Construction: Quality in Every Inferior Job We Do!
When you're done watching the video, check out his site and buy some of his crap.
Seems like a worthy cause.












KION reports that vandals also targeted a Scotts Valley construction site last week.