Showing posts with label Water-cooler. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Water-cooler. Show all posts

Monday, January 18, 2010

Too good to check: what's wrong with this picture?

Papa B (who else?) sent this one in.

Yikes.

When you've never said the Pledge of Allegiance before, you may not know what to do without a teleprompter.

They each have their left hand (note the wedding ring) over their right chest. Not the right hand over the heart!

Wow.

Snopes doesn't appear to have anything on this incident, so it's certain to be 100% accurate. Seriously, and in all fairness, we don't know the context of the photo, but it certainly looks a tad bizarre.

Update: It's a Photoshop -- and a pretty damn good one at that. Thanks to the unknown commenter.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

The Outhouse That Says It All



Depressed

DC sent this one in.

I was so depressed last night so I called Lifeline.

Got a freakin' call center in Pakistan.

I told them I was suicidal.

They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.


Saturday, January 16, 2010

Ah... Sorry to bother you President Obama, Sir

Papa B sent this one in.

Ah... Sorry to bother you President Obama, Sir

Excuse me Mr. Obama, I mean President Obama, sir. Uhm... know you are busy and important and stuff. I mean serving as president is very important and . . . ah... I hate to bother you. I will only take a minute okay, sir?

See, I have these missing pieces that are holding me up, and I was wondering sir, if you could take time out of your busy schedule and help me out. You know, no big deal, just some loose ends and things.

Hey, this White House sure is a nice place! The wife sees pictures of this place on TV all the time and says boy she wishes she had digs like this you know? Is that painting real? Really? Wow. I saw something like that in a museum once!

Oh, sorry sir. I didn't mean to get off the track. So if you could just help me out a minute and give me some details, I will get right out of your way. I want to close this case and maybe take the wife to Coney Island or something. Ever been to Coney Island? No, I didn't think so...

Well, listen, anyways, I can't seem to get some information I need to wrap this up. These things seem to either be 'locked' or 'not available'. I'm sure it's just some oversight or glitch or something, so if you could you tell me where these things are... ... ...have them written down here somewhere... oh wait. Sorry about the smears. It was raining out. I'll just read it to you.

Could you help me please find these things, sir?

1. Occidental College records and transcripts -- Not released
2. Columbia University records and transcripts -- Not released
3. Columbia Thesis paper -- 'not available'
4. Harvard University records and transcripts -- Not released
5. Selective Service Registration -- Not released
6. Medical records -- Not released
7. Illinois State Senate schedule -- 'not available'
8. Law practice client list -- Not released
9. Certified Copy of original Birth certificate -- Not released
10. Embossed, signed paper Certification of Live Birth -- Not released
11. Harvard Law Review articles published -- None
12. University of Chicago scholarly articles -- None
13. Record of Baptism -- Not released or 'not available'
14. Illinois State Senate records -- 'not available'

Oh hey... listen! I know you are busy! Is this too much for you now? I mean tell you what. I will come back tomorrow. Give you some time to get these things together, you know? I mean, I know you are busy, so I will just let myself out. I will be back tomorrow. And the day after...

'Who wants to know these things?' asks President Obama.

The American People, answers Columbo.



Friday, January 15, 2010

The unveiling

Papa B:


(If you're new around here, suffice it to say that Papa B isn't the most politically correct person you'll ever meet.)

New TSA Training Video

Papa B alerts us to the TSA's new streamlined screening process.

This would appear to be far more efficient than past efforts.

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

The Downfall of Notre Dame Football in Pictures

Don't blame the messenger: this is from Papa B.

Colt McCoy, Quarterback, University of Texas

Tim Tebow, Quarterback, University of Florida


Mark Sanchez, Quarterback, University of Southern California

Matt Stafford, Quarterback, University of Georgia

Jimmy Claussen, Quarterback, University of Notre Dame

Monday, January 04, 2010

Saturday, January 02, 2010

Papa B's Predictions for 2010

Need some cheering up after ShadowStats' description of an inescapable "financial Armageddon"? Well, Papa B's predictions for the new year definitely won't fit the bill. Go check out SondraK for uplifting frivolity.

1. The world and our economy is going to get uglier. The crushing debt will impact virtually every aspect of the economy. The market has been propped up but this will end. Stocks are a bad bet, SPY could hit 600 or lower. Cash is king and gold is good. Bonds are problematic. Hunker down, save all that you can; home repair and improvement is a good investment -- not for resale, but for your personal use and comfort.

2. Real estate will get worse. As leases expire, malls and commercial property will get darker. For example, I track the metro Atlanta area and it appears to have a 12- to 15-year supply of office property and 20% vacancy rates now. More stores will start to close after the January-February post-Christmas sales finish. Department store chains like Dillards and Macy's will start to consolidate stores believing that they can serve a metro area with six stores instead of twelve. In residential property, Fanny and Freddy are disasters and they will end up as government entities as will many banks. Residential remains ugly.

3. Health care will pass, at least in some form. And because the costs kick in immediately while benefits are delayed for four years, Democrats will suffer big losses in 2010. These, however, may still not be enough to shift control -- but the big trigger will be jobs. Another stimulus will not happen. All the state government jobs that were created will be eliminated since the states cannot afford to maintain them. Unemployment will worsen... but the government statistics will not reflect it. There are too many that are already not included in the metrics. Democrats will try to extend unemployment comp which is already at 99 weeks. That won't help. Democrats won't do what is needed to create jobs: suspend withholding, eliminate capital gains, etc. because the far left won't permit it. We will see at least 50% of the people not paying any taxes at all.

4. Lots of trade wars... and it will get ugly with China. On the plus side, we'll see a resurgence of small business manufacturing and entrepreneurship. It will be a great time to start a business. This will cause prices to rise but I don't see oil increasing much.

5. Terrorism is a real threat... the politics of Gitmo and Holder have had an impact on our entire security infrastructure. Terrorists think we are weak and our own citizens will ask, "what's the point?" If anything will truly impact the next presidential election, this and immigration will be the levers. Some jihadist will cross the border and commit a terrorist act and, all of a sudden, we'll realize we are vulnerable. Combine this with the fact that illegals are taking jobs... and you will see another backlash.

6. The issues with Iran... will be resolved either because they change internally (low probability) or the world steps in. Russia and China know out that if Israel goes to war, everyone gets involved. And we .....we do have 200,000 military close to the Iranian border.

With respect to politics, Papa B goes on to hope for some sort of "centrist consensus", but we all know that must be satire.


20 Funniest Sports Signs

Ray sent this one in.























Thursday, December 24, 2009

Last Minute Gift Selection: Eight Mens Sports Watches

Are watches even worn by kids? Or do they just use cellphones? In any event, divers and other sportsmen frequently find themselves in need of a reliable wristwatch. Here's a collection of watches -- of pretty much every price imaginable -- any one of which would make a great gift.


TAG Heuer Men's Automatic Aquaracer Watch
. Approximate price: $1,018.


Used Tudor Prince Date Chronograph
(Tudor is a lower-tier brand offered by Rolex primarily in Europe). Approximate price: $2,450.

Rolex Submariner Date Steel Mens Watch
. Approximate price: $5,395.

New Hublot Big Bang Mens Wristwatch
. Approximate price: $9,877.