Monday, May 17, 2004


Stupid White Man

Fat and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

Perhaps the most serene irony to be found in Hollywood is that the most phony, disingenuous person in the whole town is the avowed outsider, the self-righteous everyman. It’s impressive to see one man be so heroically ridiculous, a man who manages to be

1. A radical socialist who lives in a palatial New York apartment and sends his daughter to one of the most expensive private schools in the country.

2. A blowhard who pretends to advocate the views of the average American despite holding opinions that the majority of Americans find absurd.

3. A polemicist against President Bush for manufacturing “fictitious elections” who makes fictitious “documentaries,” lies pathologically in his writing and interviews, and actively doctors his past statements to avoid looking silly.


Stupid White Man

Sunday, May 16, 2004


The Seven Stages of Targeted Marketing

Jump Start Your Business Brain: Win More, Lose Less, and Make More Money with Your New Products, Services, Sales & AdvertisingThe seven stages of targeted marketing are described in this brief and compelling article directed at those of us who are marketing-stunted.

"The 7 stages, involving a mixture of tele-research, direct mail and telesales, are listed below. Each stage will be described in more detail later in this article:

Selection of key target market sectors: identifying what types of customers you want to do business with.

List research: compiling lists of potential customers.

Telephone research: to ensure that the information gained from the lists is accurate, and to get any supplementary information not included in the mailing lists.

Prospect selection: based on the lists and telephone research, to eliminate any inappropriate prospects and / or to produce a smaller, manageable sub-list for this particular mailing.

Mailshot: sending out a letter and appropriate sales literature to the selected prospects.

Telephone follow-up: this is where you really go for whatever it is you are wanting - a sales meeting, a trial order, the opportunity to quote... whatever is your objective.

Recording, measuring, monitoring: so that you know what has worked, what has not, what actions you need to take next."

Targeted marketing: how to do it

The Beale Codes
The Code Book: The Science of Secrecy from Ancient Egypt to Quantum Cryptography"It was in the month of January, 1820, while keeping the Washington Hotel, that I first saw and became acquainted with Beale. In company with two others, he came to my house seeking entertainment for himself and friends. Being assured of a comfortable provision for themselves and their horses, Beale stated his intention of remaining for the winter, should nothing occur to alter his plans, but that the gentlemen accompanying him would leave in a few days for Richmond, near which place they resided, and that they were anxious to reach their homes, from which they had long been absent. They all appeared to be gentlemen, well born, and well educated, with refined and courteous manners and with a free and independent air, which rendered then peculiarly attractive. After remaining a week or ten days, the two left, after expressions of satisfaction with their visit. Beale, who remained, soon became a favored and popular guest; his social disposition and friendly demeanor rendered him extremely popular with every one, particularly the ladies, and a pleasant and friendly intercourse was quickly established between them.

"In person, he was about six feet in height, with jet black eyes and hair of the same color, worn longer than was the style at that time. His form was symmetrical, and gave evidence of unusual strength and activity; but his distinguishing feature was a dark and swarthy complexion, as if much exposure to the sun and weather had thoroughly tanned and discolored him; this, however, did not detract from his appearance, and I thought him the handsomest man I had ever seen. Altogether, he was a model of manly beauty, favored by the ladies and envied by men. To the first he was reverentially tender and polite; to the latter, affable and courteous, when they kept within bounds, but, if they were supercilious or presuming, the lion was aroused, and woe to the man who offended him. Instances of this character occurred more than once while he was my guest, and always resulted in his demanding and receiving an apology. His character soon became universally known, and he was no longer troubled by impertinence.

"Such a man was Thomas J. Beale, as he appeared in 1820, and in his subsequent visit to my house. He registered simply from Virginia, but I am of the impression he was from some western portion of the State. Curiously enough, he never adverted to his family or to his antecedents, nor did I question him concerning them, as I would have done had I dreamed of the interest that in the future would attach to his name.

"He remained with me until about the latter end of the following March, when he left, with the same friends who first accompanied him to my house, and who had returned some days before.

"After this I heard nothing from him until January, 1822, when he once more made his appearance, the same genial and popular gentleman as before, but, if possible, darker and swarthier than ever. His welcome was a genuine one, as all were delighted to see him.

"In the spring, at about the same time, he again left, but before doing so, handed me this box, as he said, contained papers of value and importance; and which he desired to leave in my charge until called for hereafter. Of course, I did not decline to receive them, but little imagined their importance until his letter from St. Louis was received. This letter I carefully preserved, and it will be given with these papers. The box was of iron, carefully locked, and of such weight as to render it a safe depository for articles of value. I placed it in a safe and secure place, where it could not be disturbed until such time as it should be demanded by its owner. The letter alluded to above was the last communication I ever received from Beale, and I never saw him again. I can only suppose that he was killed by Indians, afar from his home, though nothing was heard of his death. His companions, too, must all have shared his fate, as no one has ever demanded the box or claimed his effects. The box was left in my hands in the Spring of 1822, and by authority of his letter, I should have examined its contents in 1832, ten years thereafter, having heard nothing from Beale in the meantime; but it was not until 1845, some twenty-three years after it came into my possession, that I decided upon opening it. During that year I had the lock broken, and with the exception of the two letters addressed to myself, and some old receipts, found only some unintelligible papers, covered with figures, and totally incomprehensible to me...

"According to his letter, these papers convey all the information necessary to find the treasure he has concealed, and upon you devolves the responsibility of recovering it. Should you succeed you will be amply compensated for your work, and others near and dear to me will likewise be benefitted. The end is worth all your exertions, and I have every hope that success will reward your efforts."
...
Lynchburg, Va., January 5th, 1822.

Dear Mr. Morriss. - You will find in one of the papers, written in cipher, the names of all my associates, who are each entitled to an equal part of our treasure, and opposite to the names of each one will be found the names and residences of the relatives and others, to whom they devise their respective portions. From this you will be enabled to carry out the wishes of all by distributing the portion of each to the parties designated. This will not be difficult, as their residences are given, and they can easily be found.


...
The two letters given above were all the box contained that were intelligible; the others, consisted of papers closely covered with figures, which were, of course, unmeaning until they could be deciphered. To do this was the task to which I now devoted myself, and with but partial success...

To enable my readers to understand the paper "No. 2," the only one I was ever able to decipher, I herewith give the Declaration of Independence, with the words numbered consecutively, by the assistance of which that paper's hidden meaning was made plain:

...By comparing the foregoing numbers with the corresponding numbers of the initial letters of the consecutive words in the Declaration of Independence, the translation will be found to be as follows:

I have deposited in the county of Bedford, about four miles from Buford's, in an excavation or vault, six feet below the surface of the ground, the following articles, belonging jointly to the parties whose names are given in number "3," herewith:

The first deposit consisted of one thousand and fourteen pounds of gold, and three thousand eight hundred and twelve pounds of silver, deposited November, 1819. The second was made December, 1821, and consisted of nineteen hundred and seven pounds of gold, and twelve hundred and eighty-eight pounds of silver; also jewels, obtained in St. Louis in exchange for silver to save transportation, and valued at $13,000.

The above is securely packed in iron pots, with iron covers. The vault is roughly lined with stone, and the vessels rest on solid stone, and are covered with others. Paper number "1" describes the exact locality of the vault so that no difficulty will be had in finding it.



The following is the paper which, according to Beale's statement, describes the exact locality of the vault, and is marked "1." It is to this that I have devoted most of my time, but, unfortunately, without success...

The Beale Codes

Saturday, May 15, 2004


Quine = Self-Reproducing Code

Metamagical Themas: Questing for the Essence of Mind and PatternI received a note from AG regarding self-reproducing code. "I presume by now you have seen a kazillions of these"...

...quine: /kwi:n/ /n./ [from the name of the logician Willard van Orman Quine, via Douglas Hofstadter] A program that generates a copy of its own source text as its complete output. Devising the shortest possible quine in some given programming language is a common hackish amusement. Here is one classic quine:

((lambda (x)
(list x (list (quote quote) x)))
(quote
(lambda (x)
(list x (list (quote quote) x)))))

This one works in LISP or Scheme. It's relatively easy to write quines in other languages such as Postscript which readily handle programs as data; much harder (and thus more challenging!) in languages like C which do not. Here is a classic C quine for ASCII machines:

char*f="char*f=%c%s%c;main()
{printf(f,34,f,34,10);}%c";
main(){printf(f,34,f,34,10);}

For excruciatingly exact quinishness, remove the interior line breaks...


The Quine Page

Thursday, May 13, 2004

Van.. Hell... zing...

Van Helsing, by Kevin RyanThe Filthy Critic has posted a priceless review of the new movie Van Helsing. Enjoy it for the obscene language. Revel in the outrageous metaphor. Hell, just read it.

What a f**king turd. F**k you, Hollywood. How the f**k can you release something so soulless, witless and pointless? How f**king greedy do you need to be?

Van Helsing is as crappy, loud and stupid as the Harelip at the Arvada City Hall Open House's free hot dog barbecue. It's all disorienting squealing and howling and shoving hands down uneasy city firefighters' pants.

Van Helsing is the kind of movie that people who hate movies make. It's not a good movie, it's not even a bad one that somebody cares about. It's just a steaming pile of s**t, a mass-marketing stunt dressed up like entertainment. It'll be a blockbuster, but no for reason other than sheer force of will and heavy marketing that keeps telling us it's an event. If this is an event, so is the time I ate too many sulfites at the Soup Plantation and sat on the can wringing my bowels like a handtowel...


Van Helsing - The Filthy Critic

Francis Bacon's Steganography

Complete TragediesThe whole world is still buzzing over the controversy: was Francis Bacon really the author of Shakespeare's works? Uhm, well, perhaps that's an overstatement. Anyhow, came across a very intriguing series of articles on Bacon's supposed use of steganography (hiding an encrypted message within another message). It begins with Mark Twain's description of a barely literate Shakespeare.

There is also considerable doubt about the facts of Shakespeare's own life. Let us read what Mark Twain had to say about that (From Is Shakespeare Dead?, 1909):

He was born on the 23rd of April, 1564.
Of good farmer-class parents who could not read, could not write, could not sign their names.
At Stratford, a small back settlement which in that day was shabby and unclean, and densely illiterate. Of the nineteen important men charged with the government of the town, thirteen had to "make their mark" in attesting important documents, because they could not write their names.
Of the first eighteen years of his life nothing is known. They are a blank.
On the 27th of November (1582) William Shakespeare took out a license to marry Anne Whateley.
Next day William Shakespeare took out a license to marry Anne Hathaway. She was eight years his senior.
William Shakespeare married Anne Hathaway. In a hurry. By grace of a reluctantly granted dispensation there was but one publication of the banns.
Within six months the first child was born.
About two (blank) years followed, during which period nothing at all happened to Shakespeare, so far as anybody knows.
Then came twins--1585. February.
Two blank years follow.
Then--1587--he makes a ten-year visit to London, leaving the family behind.
Five blank years follow. During this period nothing happened to him, as far as anybody actually knows.
Then--1592--there is mention of him as an actor.
Next year--1593--his name appears in the official list of players.
Next year--1594--he played before the queen. A detail of no consequence: other obscurities did it every year of the forty-five of her reign. And remained obscure.
Three pretty full years follow. Full of play-acting. Then.
In 1597 he bought New Place, Stratford.
Thirteen or fourteen busy years follow; years in which he accumulated money, and also reputation as actor and manager.
Meantime his name, liberally and variously spelt, had become associated with a number of great plays and poems, as (ostensibly) author of the same.
Some of these, in these years and later, were pirated, but he made no protest.
Then--1610-11--he returned to Stratford and settled down for good and all, and busied himself in lending money, trading in tithes, trading in land and houses; shirking a debt of forty-one shillings, borrowed by his wife during his long desertion of his family; suing debtors for shillings and coppers; being sued himself for shillings and coppers; and acting as a confederate to a neighbor who tried to rob the town of its rights in a certain common, and did not succeed.
He lived five or six years--till 1616--in the joy of these elevated pursuits. . .
When Shakespeare died in Stratford it was not an event. It made no more stir in England than the death of any other forgotten theatre-actor would have made. Nobody came down from London; there were no lamenting poems, no eulogies, no national tears--there was merely silence, and nothing more. A striking contrast to what happened when Ben Jonson and Francis Bacon, and Spenser, and Raleigh and the other distinguished literary folk of Shakespeare's time passed from life! No praiseful voice was lifted for the lost Bard of Avon; even Ben Jonson waited seven years before he lifted his.
So far as anybody actually knows and can prove, Shakespeare of Stratford-on-Avon never wrote a play in his life.
So far as anybody knows and can prove he never wrote a letter to anybody in his life.
So far as any one knows, he received only one letter during his life.
So far as anyone can know and can prove, Shakespeare of Stratford wrote only one poem during his life. This one is authentic. He did write that one--a fact which stands undisputed; he wrote the whole of it; he wrote the whole of it out of his own head. He commanded that this work of art be engraved upon his tomb, and he was obeyed. There it abides to this day. This is it:

Good frend for Iesus sake forbeare
to digg the dust encloased heare!
Blest be ye man yt spares thes stones
And curst be he yt moves my bones.


Who wrote the Works?

Shrugs and the Cervical Spine

Strength Training AnatomyI never realized what toll the years of lifting were taking on my spine. Now, after having had a disc fusion surgery, I see this terrific article on reducing strength training injuries. Just in time! Sweet! It really is one of the best I've ever seen. What I'm guessing is that years of heavy shrugs, deadlifts and rows -- all with the head tilted forward -- conspired to make the trauma I received while playing basketball worse. I reiterate my recommendation: never have 180 lbs. land on your head. It really doesn't feel very good at all. Anyhow, for anyone training with weights of any significance, do yourself a favor and check this out.

...Exercises in which the head is allowed to nod or protrude forward may contribute to cervical spine injury by either promoting the postural defect... or by predisposing the athlete to cervical disc problems. The tendency to jut the head forward in exercises such as shrugs..., behind the neck presses..., behind the neck pulldowns, lateral shoulder raises..., triceps extensions, curls, incline leg presses, and abdominal crunches promotes the development of the rounded shoulder, forward head posture. This posture is associated with abnormal mechanical function of the cervical spine...

Minimizing Weight Training Injuries in Bodybuilders and Athletes


Because you just can't get enough self-reproducing code...

Logic, Sets, and Recursion by Robert L. CauseyTobias from PHPwizard wrote me regarding an earlier blog entry on self-reproducing code. He uses a printf to achieve the necessary recursion for self-reproduction. Way, way more elegant than the clunky approach I wrote over lunch one day. Anyhow, here 'tis:

I used these as signatures back in 1999 or 2000:

<?$p = '<?$p = %c%s%c; printf($p,39,$p,39);?>'; printf($p,39,$p,39);?>

Another self-printing signature:

<?printf("<?".$a='printf("<?".$a=%c%s%c,39,$a,39);?>',39,$a,39);?>

This is unrelated, but cool: :)
Mandelbrot, takes less than a second with PHP 5.0, took 3.5 seconds to execute with PHP 4.0.1 and 13.5 seconds with 3.0:

<?$c=$s=0;$a=$t=$x=$y=$b=-2;for(;$b-=$a>2?0.1/($a=-2):0,$b<2;
$s.=chr(30+$c),$a+=0.0503)for($x= /* Tobias Ratschiller */
$y=$c=0;++$c<90&$x*$x+$y*$y<4;$y= /* http://phpWizard.net */
2*$x*$y+$b,$x=$t)$t=$x*$x-$y*$y+$a;print(chunk_split($s,80));?>


MSDN opines on network security... and it's pretty good!

Windows(R) XP Professional SecurityLooking for a good overall picture of network security? Not sure you've had enough formal coverage of all the threats in the wilds of cyberspace? MSDN, of all places, has a pretty good backgrounder on the topology of network security.

Web Security Threats and Countermeasures

Fast Track: How To Implement Web Application Security

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

Plan of Attack by Bob WoodwardHave been engaging in a good email discussion with B regarding Larry Abraham's articles (see a prevous blog entry entitled "The clash of civilizations and the great Caliphate"). His comments:

> I read the Larry Abraham stuff you cited and, while I found the thesis
> to be interesting, I have to say the guy's off the deep end. His focus
> on the Judeo-Christian/Western viewpoint greatly reduces the relevance
> for me. While I come from that tradition, one needs to remember that
> there are over 2+ billion people that just don't give a s**t. We only
> care and may be alarmed because we hold some religious views very dear.
> It is these same 2+ billion folks that will end up eating our economic
> lunch in the coming 20-30 years.
>
> What we in the US face is an inability to even start thinking and
> planning for energy independence. It's that simple. With that, 90% of
> this religious jihad bulls**t falls away. Combine that with a sane
> policy toward the middle-east and Larry's scenario fails to have any
> plausiblity...not that there is much there to begin with.
>
> Sure, I think his analysis might be indicative of the state of radical
> areas of Islam. Sure, there is history here that goes back a thousand
> years. Why do you think Bush's handlers reacted so strongly when he
> called the War in Iraq/Afghanistan a "Crusade"?
> However, Larry's so partisan with respect to his views of U.S.
> politics that it's clearly a cry from his political perspective.
> Further, he is allowing the jihadists to frame the situation. They want
> us to see it that way and to be very frightened about it. I may have
> bought Larry's thesis were it not for the crazy alarmism and the
> pot-shots at the non-GOP politicians involved. Any article that calls
> out "Liberals" or "Conservatives" loses credibility quickly with me.
>
> The problem with the US is that we live in a pseudo-representative
> oligarchy. Without fundamental change in our system, things will
> continue forward regardless of the stuffed suits that reside in offices
> in DC. Big money (esp. Oil) and special interests drive what's
> happening. We're at "War" because we have too many foreign
> entanglements based upon our need for energy. That won't change until
> those in power change. Invading another couple countries won't solve
> the problem (though I do agree that Pakistan would have been a better
> choice than Iraq). The scary thing for me is that there are people,
> like the bulk of the current administration, that think in black and
> white terms. They have no second thoughts about using words like
> "crusade", "evil-doers", or "new world order". I'm sorry, but reality
> isn't like that. I also have little respect for the academics that want
> to change facts based upon what the definition of "is" is. There must
> be some balance.
>
> What we need to do is attack the problem at it's source. If we
> weren't such gluttons for oil, the middle east and people like Bin Laden
> wouldn't have the $$ necessary to mess with us. You take out Osama or
> the heads of other terrorist groups and three more people will step up
> to take their place. Attack their captial pipeline and they become a
> nuisance rather than a threat. That pipeline should be attacked at the
> source. We are its largest source and hold within our power the ability
> to change.
>

My response was:

Good note. I don't disagree with a thing you've said. But the timeframe for
the type of fundamental changes you've described extends well beyond our
lifespans (IMO).

Reduce our dependence on foreign oil? Sure. Eradicate the influence that
special interests have on law-makers? Absolutely.

But if we started today, we're looking at 20+ years to implement just those two
keystone tenets. Let's start the education process today to show Americans that
really don't need to drive Hummers and Land Cruisers. But that's gonna take a
while.

And, in the mean time, do we tolerate a potential nuclear or WMD threat to our
cities and our families? And what's to say that the religious fanatics would
stop their shenanigans even _if_ we reduced our dependence on their oil to zero?
My guess is they wouldn't stop for a second.

I don't put this in religious terms at all. I put this in terms of:

Capitalist sons-of-bitches vs. Insane, suicidal, murderous sons-of-bitches

I don't give a s**t what their religion is. I do know they want to kill
everyone that isn't like them. Who do _you_ want to win that battle?

Tuesday, May 11, 2004


Self-Reproducing Code

The Data Warehouse Toolkit: The Complete Guide to Dimensional Modeling (Second Edition)I was reading the Green Hills commentary on Linux insecurity (see one of yesterday's blog entries). There was a reference to Ken Thompson's classic article ACM Classic: Reflections on Trusting Trust. In it, he discusses why compilers -- written in the language they compile -- can't be trusted.

As an exercise, he proposes the following programming challenge: ...the problem is to write a source program that, when compiled and executed, will produce as output an exact copy of its source. If you have never done this, I urge you to try it on your own. The discovery of how to do it is a revelation that far surpasses any benefit obtained by being told how to do it. The part about "shortest" was just an incentive to demonstrate skill and determine a winner....

Strangely enough, I don't think I'd ever attempted such an exercise before. So after a longer programming session than I'd originally envisioned, I created the following self-reproducing PHP script which I release to the world with all the caveats and limitations of liability specified by this agreement.

Anyhow, here it is. I'd be interested to find out other languages in which this has been attempted (and I'd be happy to publish source here and credit the authors). Email me if you've got a candidate. My lessons learned for PHP are:

- Automated variable expansion in double-quoted strings can be a hindrance in an exercise such as this
- Escapements, escapements, escapements!

<?php
function Esc($s) { return (str_replace(chr(0x27), chr(0x5c).chr(0x27), $s)); }
$aSrc = array(
'echo("<?php\r\n");',
'echo(\' function Esc($s) { return (str_replace(chr(0x27), chr(0x5c).chr(0x27), $s)); }\'); echo("\r\n");',
'echo(\' $aSrc = array(\'); echo("\r\n");',
'for ($i = 0; $i < sizeof($aSrc); $i++) {',
' echo(chr(0x09).chr(0x09)."\'".Esc($aSrc[$i])."\',".chr(0x0d).chr(0x0a));',
'}',
'echo("\t);\r\n");',
'for ($i = 0; $i < sizeof($aSrc); $i++) {',
' echo(chr(0x09).$aSrc[$i].chr(0x0d).chr(0x0a));',
'}',
'echo("?>\r\n");',
);
echo("<?php\r\n");
echo(' function Esc($s) { return (str_replace(chr(0x27), chr(0x5c).chr(0x27), $s)); }'); echo("\r\n");
echo(' $aSrc = array('); echo("\r\n");
for ($i = 0; $i < sizeof($aSrc); $i++) {
echo(chr(0x09).chr(0x09)."'".Esc($aSrc[$i])."',".chr(0x0d).chr(0x0a));
}
echo("\t);\r\n");
for ($i = 0; $i < sizeof($aSrc); $i++) {
echo(chr(0x09).$aSrc[$i].chr(0x0d).chr(0x0a));
}
echo("?>\r\n");
?>


Email me if you've got another one like this. Remember, its output must produce an exact copy of its source without using the file-system or other intermediate storage. It has to generate the source on its own!

Monday, May 10, 2004

Gödel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden BraidThis is one clever little hack. Looks like classified documents should go back to Courier New...

Illuminating blacked-out words
Linux, Second Edition (Hacking Exposed)The CEO of Green Hills has posted some new content regarding Linux insecurity. He has a point (at least, for embedded applications) and the Linux community needs to address the basic issues he raises. For instance: why has Windows been certified to EAL4 while Linux remains at EAL2?

Before most Linux developers were born, Ken Thompson irrefutably proved that an open source process couldn't find clever subversions, no matter how many people of whatever competence looked at the source code...

"Many Eyes" - No Assurance Against Many Spies - Green Hills Software

Saturday, May 08, 2004


The Ross Large Enterprise Technology Stock Report *




Quote

Technology Area

Change

Description

90

Java, J2EE

Unch

Sun’s deal with Microsoft yielding uncertainty; open-source still a ?

72

.NET

+2

NOVL open-source Mono project gains momentum;

70

Web Service Architectures

+2

Still plenty of momentum along all platforms; security still a ?

70


ERP

Unch

Tactical projects still making headway, albeit on limited scale

63

Oracle

-2

Core business hurt by SQL Server and MySQL

60

Business Intelligence

+1

Data warehousing, OLAP on everyone’s radar screen

57

Security

Unch

Security situation is still high-risk area, additional $$ not forthcoming

54

Linux

+2

Despite suits, more enterprise usage of low $ infrastructure

45

MySQL

+3

SAP, other deals, license pricing hurting Oracle, SQL Server

45

SQL Server

-1

Momentum hampered by open-source progress

27

Data mining

+1

Lack of experts and business understanding limit capability

27

DB2

+1

Big Iron and product range drives increased usage

27

Enterprise messaging

Unch

Web services, complexity, security hamper adoption

24

VoIP

+3

Lots of hype, lots of offerings, but integration issues remain

21


B2B

+1


XML, EDI, BizTalk, still hot areas

21

CRM

-1

Plethora of bad implementations leave bad taste in mouths

18


PHP

+2

Oracle and Sun both providing integration with popular web language

18

SFA

Unch

Hosted solutions lack of integration hamper adoption

* These are strictly my opinions based upon what I read and what I see. If you want to quibble with me, start your own blog and get your own seven readers.

Old School Vegas

The Cooler (DVD)The Cooler (DVD).

Beautifully photographed in an unvarnished Vegas, William H. Macy plays "the cooler" in an old-school casino. Employed by the Casino manager (Alec Baldwin), the cooler brings bad luck to a hot table or a gambler on a roll. The bad karma emanating from Macy is visceral. Everything in his life is dead or dying and his contract in Vegas is days from coming to a close. Then, a seemingly chance encounter with a cocktail waitress (Maria Bello) changes everything. They fall for each other - hard. And the cooler's dance with lady luck begins anew.

Plagued by a bunch of serious plot holes, the script is probably the weakest link in the film. Macy, Baldwin and Bello are each outstanding in their respective roles, salvaging - with sheer determination and skill - what could have been a disaster. Because they are so believable... we believe. In the possibilities that love brings... and lady luck.

DVD: The Cooler (2003)

Friday, May 07, 2004


THE CLASH OF CIVILIZATIONS AND THE GREAT CALIPHATE

Judaism, Christianity, and IslamThis is important. Seriously. All seven of my loyal readers: please email this to every person in your address book. This is Part One of Larry Abraham's Report. It is vital that you pass it on to others. Take a few moments to read it... and you will see why.

The war we are now facing did not begin on September 11, 2001, nor will it end with the peaceful transition to civilian authorities in Iraq, whenever that may be. In fact, Iraq is but a footnote in the bigger context of this encounter, but an important one none the less.

This war is what the Jihadists themselves are calling the “ Third Great Jihad” and are doing so within the framework of a time line which reaches back to the very creation of Islam in the Seventh century and their attempts to recreate the dynamics which gave rise to the religion in the first two hundred years of its existence.

No religion in history grew as fast, in its infancy, than did Islam and the reasons for this growth are not hard to explain when you understand what the world was like at the time of Muhammad’s death in 632 AD. The Western Roman Empire was in ruins and the Eastern Empire was based in Constantinople and trying desperately to keep the power of its early grandeur while transitioning to Christianity as a de facto state religion. The costs to the average person were unbearable as he was being required to meet the constantly rising taxes levied from the state along with the tithes coerced by the Church. What Islam offered was the “carrot or the sword”.

If you became a convert, your taxes were immediately eliminated, as was your tithe. If you didn’t, you faced death. The choice was not hard for most to make, unless you were a very devoted martyr in the making. At the beginning, even the theology was not too hard for most to swallow, considering that both Jewry and Christianity were given their due by the Prophet. There is but one God-Allah, and Muhammad is His Prophet, as was Jesus, and the pre-Christian Jewish prophets of the Torah (old testament). Both were called “children of the book”, the book being the Koran, which replaced both the Old and New testaments for Christians and Jews.

With this practical approach to spreading the “word” Islam grew like wild fire, reaching out from the Saudi Arabian Peninsula in all directions. This early growth is what the Muslims call the “first” great Jihad and it met with little resistance until Charles Martel of France, the father of Charlemagne, stopped them in the battle of Tours in France, after they had firmly established the religion on the Iberian peninsula. This first onslaught against the West continued in various forms and at various times until Islam was finally driven out of Spain in 1492 at the battle of Granada.

The “second great jihad” came with the Ottoman Turks. This empire succeeded in bringing about the downfall of Constantinople as a Christian stronghold and an end to Roman hegemony in all of its forms. The Ottoman Empire was Islam’s most successful expansion of territory even though the religion itself had fractured into warring sects and bitter rivalries with each claiming the ultimate truths in “the ways of the Prophet”. By 1683 the Ottomans had suffered a series of defeats on both land and sea and the final and failed attempt to capture Vienna set the stage for the collapse of any further territorial ambitions and Islam shrunk into various sheikhdoms, emir dominated principalities, and roving tribes of nomads.

However, by this time a growing anti-western sentiment, blaming its internal failures on anyone but themselves, was taking hold and setting the stage for a new revival know has Wahhabism which came into full bloom under the House of Saud on the Arabian peninsula shortly before the onset of WWI. It is this Wahhabi version of Islam which has infected the religion itself, now finding adherents in almost all branches and sects, especially the Shiites. What this sect calls for is the complete and total rejection of anything and everything which is not based in the original teachings of The Prophet and it finds its most glaring practice in the policies of the Afgani Taliban or the Shiite practices of the late Ayatollah Khomeini in Iran. Its Ali Pasha (Field Marshall) is now known as Osama bin Laden, the leader of the “third Jihad”.

Jimmy Carter sets the stage

The strategy for this “holy war” did not begin with the planning of the destruction of the World Trade Center. It began with the plans for toppling the Shah of Iran back in the early 1970’s and culminated with his exile in 1979. With his plans and programs to “westernize” his country, along with his close ties to the U.S. and subdued acceptance of the State of Israel, the Shah was the soft target.
Thanks, in large part to the hypocritical and disastrous policies of the Jimmy Carter State Department the revolution was set into motion, the Shah was deposed, his arm forces scattered or murdered and stage one was complete. The Third Jihad now had a base of operations and the oil wealth to support its grand design or what they call the “Great Caliphate”.

The Great Caliphate

What this design calls for is the replacement of all secular leadership in any country with Muslim majorities. This would include, Egypt, Turkey, Pakistan, Indonesia, all the Emirates, Sudan, Tunisia, Libya, Algeria, Morocco, Yemen, Syria, Lebanon, Jordan and finally what they call the “occupied territory” Israel.
As a part of this strategy, forces of the jihad will infiltrate governments and the military as a prelude to taking control, once the secular leadership is ousted or assassinated. Such was the case in Lebanon leading to the Syrian occupation and what was attempted in Egypt with the murder of Anwar Sadat, along with the multiple attempts on the lives of Hussein in Jordan, Mubarak of Egypt and Musharraf in Pakistan. Pakistan is a particular prize because of its nuclear weapons.

The long-range strategy of the Third Jihad counts on three strategic goals. 1. The U.S. withdrawing from the region just as it did in Southeast Asia, following Vietnam. 2. Taking control of the oil wealth in the Muslim countries, which would be upwards to 75% of known reserves, and 3. Using nuclear weapons or other WMDs to annihilate Israel. A further outcome of successfully achieving these objectives would be to place the United Nations as the sole arbiter in East/West negotiations.

Evidence of the Bush Administration awareness of this plan is found in the facts that immediately following the 9/11 attack, their first move was to shore up Pakistan and Egypt, believing that these two would be the next targets for al Qaeda while Americans focused on the disaster in New York. The administration also knew that the most important objective was to send a loud and clear message that the U.S. was in the region to stay, not only to shore up our allies but to send a message to the Jihadists. The attack on Afghanistan was necessary to break-up a secure al Qaeda base of operations and put their leadership on the run or in prison.

Why Iraq?

The war on Iraq also met a very strategic necessity in that no one knew how much collaboration existed between Saddam Hussein and the master planners of the Third Jihad or his willingness to hand off WMDs to terrorist groups including the PLO in Israel. What was known, were serious indications of on-going collaboration, as Saddam funneled money to families of suicide bombers attacking the Israelis and others in Kuwait.

What the U.S. needed to establish was a significant base of operations smack dab in the middle of the Islamic world, in a location which effectively cut it in half. Iraq was the ideal target for this and a host of other strategic reasons.

Leadership of various anti-American groups both here and abroad understood the vital nature of the Bush initiative and thus launched their demonstrations, world-wide, to “Stop The War”. Failing this, they also laid plans to build a political campaign inside the country, with the War in Iraq as a plebiscite, using a little know politician as the thrust point; Howard Dean. This helps to explain how quickly the Radical Left moved into the Dean campaign with both people and money, creating what the clueless media called the “Dean Phenomenon”.

By building on the left-wing base in the Democrat party and the “Hate Bush” liberals, the campaign has already resulted in a consensus among the aspirants, minus Joe Lieberman, to withdraw the U.S. from Iraq and turn the operation over to the U.N. And, if past is prologue, i.e. Vietnam, once the U.S. leaves it will not go back under any circumstances, possibly even the destruction of Israel.

Should George W. Bush be defeated in November and a new administration come to power we could expect to see the dominoes start to fall in the secular Islamic countries and The Clash of Civilizations would then become a life changing event in all of our lives.

What surprised the Jihadists following the 9/11 attack was how American sentiment mobilized around the president and a profound sense of patriotism spread across the country They were not expecting this reaction, based on what had happened in the past, nor were they expecting the determined resolve of the President himself. I believe that this is one of the reasons we have not had any further attacks within our borders. They are content to wait, just as one of their tactical mentors, V.I. Lenin admonished…”two steps forward, one step back”.

A couple of additional events serve as valuable footnotes to the current circumstances we face: the destruction of the human assets factor of the CIA during the Carter presidency, presided over by the late Senator Frank Church and Carter’s CIA Director, Admiral Stansfield Turner. This fact has plagued our intelligence agencies right up to this very day with consequences which are now obvious. Jimmy Carter is the one man who must bear the bulk of the responsibility for setting the stage of the Third Jihad. Americans should find little comfort in how the Democrat contenders constantly seek the “advice and counsel” of this despicable little hypocrite who now prances around with his Nobel Prize, while attacking President Bush with almost as much venom as his fellow Nobel Laureate, Yassir Arafat.

Lastly, we should not expect to see any meaningful cooperation from Western Europe, especially the French.

Since failing to protect their own interests in Algeria by turning the country over to the first of the Arab terrorists, Amid Ben Bella, the country itself is now occupied by Islamic immigrants totally twenty percent of the population.

We are in the battle of our lives which will go on for many years possibly even generations. If we fail to understand what we are facing or falter in the challenge of “knowing our enemy” the results will be catastrophic...


This was Part One of Larry Abraham's report. Part Two can be found here: THE CLASH OF CIVILIZATIONS AND THE GREAT CALIPHATE

Hazing

Journalistic Fraud: How The New York Times Distorts the News and Why It Can No Longer Be TrustedTreasonous. That's how I would define the Yemeni Television Network (oops, I mean CBS) release of the POW mistreatment photos. Yes, the information needed to get to those in power. Yes, the soldiers who played roles in the mistreatment should be disciplined to the full text of the UCMJ. But the photos did not need to be released to the world to accomplish these goals. Let's face the truth: for the most part, these incidents looked no more harmful than some serious fraternity hazing incidents. But it's all about the politics today, and not about the lives of our men and women serving overseas.

Those who released the Abu Ghraib prison pictures have endangered the lives of our POW's in the hands of Iraqi militiamen. If Matt Maupin and other POW's are found to have come to harm after the release of these photos, their families should sue the media outlets that dispensed them. Their single-minded agenda to further the Democratic cause -- with no rhyme or reason about the information they disclose -- is painfully obvious. I can assure you that the Iraqi militia will not be hazing their prisoners.

Thursday, May 06, 2004


Beating the Captchas

Alan Turing: The EnigmaFew weeks ago, I wrote about captchas. Captchas are the little tests that Yahoo and other sites employ to verify that new mail accounts are being created by humans, not bots. Spammers like to use bots to create boatloads of free mail-sending accounts, leveraging the infrastructure paid for by Yahoo and other providers.

Well, no one ever said these spammers were stupid. Annoying and persistent, yes. Stupid, no. Here's a new method they're using to beat the captchas.

...To open an e-mail account, the applicant is asked to read the word in the Captcha graphic and type it into an application form. Because the disguised word is virtually impossible for a computer to read, spammers need a human to intervene, which ruins their automation process.

However, as first noted in the Boing Boing blog earlier this year, some spammers have found an ingenious way to bypass the Captcha protection.

First, the spammers open and advertise a Web site containing pornography. Visitors to the porn site are asked to enter the word contained in a Captcha graphic before they are granted access. In the background, spammers have already used scripts to automate the Web mail accounts opening process to the point where they need a human to 'read' the Captcha graphics. The Captcha graphics from the Web mail site are transferred to the porn site, where the porn consumers interpret the Captcha words. As soon as they enter the correct word, the script can complete its application process and the visitors are rewarded with free porn...


Whoaaa... did someone say free porn? ... ... ...I was kidding.

Porn gets spammers past Hotmail, Yahoo barriers

Dumber than a bag o' hammers

Survivor : A Novel
<br />Frickin' ridiculous. Saw Survivor tonight. And, yes, Big Tom is definitely a few sandwiches shy of a picnic. Let's do the math, Tom:

Amber + Rob + Tom = No money for Tom
Rupert + Jenna + Tom = Possibility of money for Tom

Q: Tom, so why did you vote for Jenna and not Amber?
A: Ah starred en uh-liance wit Rob n ah nevah wuz gonna back out on nat. Ah cain't tolerate none of dat deception lahk what Rupert wuz gon' do. Nah, thazz not for me. Ah cain't hannle 'at one li'l bit. Ah ain't gonna blah blah blah... [unintelligible gibberish]

This is less a "Survivor All-Stars" and more a "Survivor Half-Wits". And the red-neck half-wits I know are all pissed-off at Tom. Apparently, he's giving them a bad name.

Wednesday, May 05, 2004


Smokin' ass spinners? Checkety check

Smokin' ass spinners?  Checkety check.T pimped his own damn ride. I suppose driving around in the Boxster S must have highlighted all of the limitations of his everyday car, a Toyota Solara. Thus, without engaging Vanilla Ice, an MTV camera crew, or a glue-huffing "sound department" of River City Customs, he embarked on a journey of pimpitization.

The results are admirable. And frightening. You won't hear me saying that the Solara is a chick ride anymore.

MTV ain't got nothin' on me

PUT THAT COFFEE DOWN. Coffee is for closers!

Glengarry Glen Ross (1992) - A movie about salesThe ultimate movie about sales is Glengarry Glen Ross. With a juggernaut of a cast and the most incisive script ever created in this genre, it is painfully realistic to watch. And the penultimate scene in this ultimate movie is Blake's visit to the sales force.

Blake: These are the new leads. These are the Glengarry leads. To you, these are gold; you do not get these. Because to give them to you would be throwing them away. ...

Blake: We're adding a little something to this month's sales contest. As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anybody want to see second prize?
[Holds up prize]
Blake: Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired...

Blake: Your name is 'your wanting', and you can't play the man's game, you can't close them, and then tell your wife your troubles. 'Cause only one thing counts in this world: get them to sign on the line which is dotted. You hear me you f**kin' faggots? ...

Blake: A-B-C. A-Always, B-Be, C-Closing. Always be closing, always be closing...

Dave Moss: Who are you? What's your name?
Blake: You see this watch? You see this watch?
Dave Moss: Yeah.
Blake: That watch costs more than you car. I made $970,000 last year. How much you make? You see pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy, I don't give a sh*t. Good father, f**k you. Go home"...

Blake: You got leads. Mitch & Murray paid good money. Get their names to sell them. You can't close the leads you're given, you can't close shit, *you are* sh*t, hit the bricks pal, and beat it, 'cause you are going *out*.
Shelley Levene: The leads are weak.
Blake: "The leads are weak." The f**king leads are weak? You're weak. I've been in this business fifteen years...
Dave Moss: What's your name?
Blake: F**k you. That's my name.
[Moss laughs]
Blake: You know why, mister? 'Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight, I drove an eighty thousand dollar BMW. *That's* my name...

Dave Moss: We don't gotta sit here and listen to this.
Blake: You CERTAINLY don't pal, 'cause the good news is - you're fired...

Blake: PUT THAT COFFEE DOWN. Coffee is for closers. I don't see any closers here...

Blake: And to answer you question, pal, why am I here? I came here because Mitch and Murray asked me to. They asked me for a favor. I said the real favor, follow my advice and fire your f**king ass because a loser is a loser.


Memorable Quotes from Glengarry Glen Ross (1992)