Saturday, August 21, 2004

What's at Stake: 2004



This is a reprint of one of my earlier blog entries. I was motivated to write this because I wanted to express my concern with candidate Kerry's horrendous record on military and intelligence issues. Kerry has literally been on the wrong side of every major defense issue since he joined the Senate. This represents, God forbid, what could happen if Kerry were to be elected, to dismantle the Patriot Act, and to foist more responsibilities for US defense on "international" partners.

NYC ATOM ATTACK

Geostar 45 satellite captures detonation moments after attack
Islamic Group Claims Responsibility

(FLASH/AP) At approximately 5:15pm EST yesterday, terrorists associated with Ansar al Islam detonated a 15 kiloton atomic weapon in the harbor near Manhattan's battery. Radio reports indicated that the terrorists were operating a speedboat and that a pursuit by the United States Coast Guard was underway when the explosion occurred.

Three Nuclear Emergency Response Teams (NEST) were on the scene and initial casualty reports estimated as many as 75,000 dead and 250,000 wounded. Area hospitals were overwhelmed with cases of severe burns, radiation sickness, and major injuries. A triage facility was established at 103th street/Corona Plaza and all medical personnel were asked to report immediately to their respective facilities.

A shaken president John Kerry addressed the nation via radio at 8 pm EST. "This dark day has tested the mettle of the American people," he stated, "our thoughts and prayers are with those who have died, and those who suffer. Time and time again we have risen to the challenge, defeating tyrants, extremists and dictators who would fight freedom. And this time, it will be no different. I ask all Americans to band together, to help your neighbors, to reassure one another in this dark hour. I can assure you that we will strike back. We will strike hard. And that justice will be done."

Kerry went on to issue a presidential directive reinstating the Patriot Act, which had been dismantled less than twelve months after his election. He also declared martial law in New York, New Jersey, Washington DC, and Detroit, where National Guard troops were enforcing a curfew. There were unconfirmed reports of widespread looting and civil unrest in areas surrounding New York City.

Economic Impact Felt Worldwide

The New York Stock Exchange has suspended trading while operations are moved to a backup facility near Philadelphia. Redundant computer operations for most of Wall Street have ensured that account and trading information is intact.

Oil prices skyrocketed to over $70 a barrel immediately after the explosion and then plummeted to $45 as the economic impact of a potential worldwide recession loomed.

Gold shot overnight to 900/oz. and the value of the dollar fell nearly a third in overnight trading.

The NASDAQ stock market intends to resume trading within the week, operating from its redundant Chicago facility.
Retaliation: Shock and Anger

Senior Pentagon officials tell the AP that war plans are underway and that a strategic nuclear response "is being contemplated".

Former CIA Analyst Robert Acres told CNN that NEST is capable of determining the source of the nuclear material used by the terrorists. "When that source is located, I can assure you that there will be hell to pay."

A CNN/Gallup Poll taken last night asked viewers which potential target would be struck first in a military response. Over 50% answered Iran, 25% North Korea, 20% Pakistan, 12% Mecca, 3% Medina, and 5% all of the named targets.

There were unconfirmed reports from Norfolk, Virginia that Task Force 134, the US Pacific Fleet's Nuclear Submarine Group, had been ordered to the Indian Ocean.

Continuity of Government

Upon the first reports of the detonation, a Continuity of Government (COG) operation began moving the president, vice-president, cabinet, key congressional leaders, military and intelligence personnel to a secure facility in West Virginia. No further details were available at press time.

Claims of Responsibility

Within hours of the attack, a web site affiliated with the Al Jazeera network posted a claim of responsibility by Ansar al Islam reading "Praise be to God, we have the struck the enemy a shattering blow and we will strike again before it can recover. God is great, and thanks be unto God for delivering us this victory. We will fight the infidel crusaders wherever they may live, from this time forward, until they have been eradicated from the face of the earth."

Harsh Criticism of Policy

Hours after the attack, the president's critics were harshly reprimanding his dismantling of the CIA and the Department of Homeland Security, and his efforts to place the responsibilities of defense and intelligence-gathering with the United Nations.

Former president George W. Bush, speaking from his ranch in Texas, said, "This is tragic in so many ways. The loss of life, the loss of property, the loss of confidence. But I firmly believe that this did not have to happen. The United Nations, or any multi-national coalition, cannot protect the United States. Only we can protect ourselves."

Continued on Page A3.



Standalone link: What's at Stake 2004

Friday, August 20, 2004

Sellout



Unfit for Command: Swift Boat Veterans Speak Out Against John KerryThis is interesting. Emphasis mine.

If most of Kerry's fellow Swift veterans don't support him, then who were all those guys with him at the Democratic Convention? They made it appear that Kerry has the complete support of his "Band of Brothers" from Vietnam.

John Kerry has been able to convince about 13 men who served on Swift boats in the Mekong Delta to support him, 7 or 8 of whom were at various times crew members on his own 6-man boat. Those are the men the Kerry campaign so prominently featured at the Democratic Convention. The photograph we have posted at SwiftVets.com shows Kerry with 19 of his fellow Swift boat OICs (Officers In Charge) in Coastal Division 11. Four OICs were not present for the photograph. Only one of his 23 fellow OICs from Coastal Division 11 supports John Kerry.

Overall, more than 250 Swift boat veterans are on the record questioning Kerry's fitness to serve as Commander-in-Chief. That list includes his entire chain of command -- every single officer Kerry served under in Vietnam. The Kerry game plan is to ignore all this and pretend that the 13 veterans his campaign jets around the country and puts up in 5-star hotels really represent the truth about his short, controversial combat tour.

The Swift boats fought in groups, so the other OICs who fought alongside Kerry know him well and can accurately describe what he did and did not do. In many cases Kerry's fellow OICs had a better perspective than his own crew members, since the latter had no way to determine whether he was following orders and how well he worked with his peers.

...Why do you want Senator John Kerry to release his entire military records?

We want Senator Kerry to tell the truth about his conduct in Vietnam to the American public. We were there. We know that there are many critical facts that Americans need to know -– facts that have not been disclosed. Releasing the complete set of Kerry's service records will provide some insight into that conduct.

...Hasn’t Senator Kerry already released his records?

No, Senator Kerry has disclosed only a selected portion of his records. Specifically, Senator Kerry has not disclosed the records leading to the award of the three purple hearts, the Silver Star and the Bronze Star. There are also missing performance evaluations (called “Fitness Reports”) for certain periods of his service as a Navy officer. We call upon Senator Kerry to authorize the complete release of his military records by filing a simple two-page Form 180.


Swift Boat Veterans FAQ

Does media bias really exist?



...People trying to persuade others to adopt their views are very likely to cite think-tank experts who agree with them. And the liberal lobbying group Americans for Democratic Action (their description of themselves) regularly grades politicians from 0 to 100 based on their votes on selected issues, with the most liberal members of Congress earning 100.

Two researchers have combined these two disparate ideas to come up with a measure of media bias that doesn't depend on journalists' own perceptions of where they fit on the political spectrum...

..."Our results show a very significant liberal bias," they write. "One of our measures found that The Drudge Report is the most centrist of all media outlets in our sample. Our other measure found that Fox News' Special Report is the most centrist."...

...The authors say they expected to find that the mainstream media leaned to the left, but they were "astounded by the degree." So when people say, for example, that The New York Times may be tilted left, but people can compensate for that by watching Fox News, they don't take into account that the Times is much further from the center than Fox. "To gain a balanced perspective, one would need to spend twice as much time watching Special Report as he or she spends reading The New York Times."...


Researchers surprised by liberal bias of media and read the study: A Measure of Media Bias

One Giant Lift for Mankind



The race for the 1,000-pound bench press

Gene Rychlak Jr. is the best bench-presser in the world. Powerlifting experts coo over the 6-foot-1-inch, 380-pound behemoth's physical attributes. His short arms bulge with massive triceps that propel eye-popping weights to the ceiling in an instant. The big stomach comes in handy, too—anything that stops the bar a couple of inches closer to lockout position can't be bad. So, what does it all add up to? Rychlak can bench-press 965 pounds...


The race for the 1,000-pound bench press

Thursday, August 19, 2004

( Excel + Web ) / Multiple Companies = XLmerge



BadBlue XLmerge - Share Excel worksheets over the webThere is a new BadBlue product called XLmerge out, which lets Excel users all work on the same spreadsheets while still using Excel. The idea was spawned by a business application with which I'd had little familiarity: insurance claims adjustment.

Now here's the crazy thing about sharing Excel worksheets if you're all not on the same LAN: there isn't a way to do it. Period. Short of emailing around a copy, there wasn't a viable option until XLmerge debuted. It used to be as easy to share a spreadsheet as it was for Muqtada al Sadr to buy term life insurance.

Now imagine if you're involved with insurance claims adjustment. As I understand it, there are accountants adding and modifying insurance claims. There are adjustors verifying the claims and... uhmm... adjusting them. There are attorneys and auditors verifying the entire process. And they're all working on the same spreadsheets at the same time. And they love... LOVE... to use Excel, so they won't cede their work to a web application. And with multiple parties involved, emailing a spreadsheet around would be about as effective as a "Michael Moore Diet Plan".

The whole idea of XLmerge boils down to a "version control system" for Excel. Users go to a central, secure web site and download an Excel workbook. The current state of the sheet is saved as a "snapshot" for later comparison purposes. The users work in Excel to analyze and modify the entries. Then they upload the modified workbook to the central site. A process catches the upload operation and compares the new sheet with their snapshot. A list of deletes, inserts and updates are created and, if some safety checks tolerate it, the master copy of the workbook is modified. Not exactly the high drama of a "Saved by the Bell" episode, but close.

So it's basically a version control system... but one that doesn't require an explicit "check-out" operation that would lock the spreadsheet to modifications by other users. Locking out other users in this case would make about as much sense as "MTV Cribs" touring an ex-rap-star's double-wide.

So in this particular insurance claims application, I think there are about 16 users, several different companies, and 300 or so spreadsheets. So far, it seems to be a reasonable solution to a problem that, as far as I know, really had no effective solution. So anyone still emailing spreadsheets around in an error-prone process is kind of like John Kerry eating a Wendy's double. He didn't want to do it... he had to do it. Hopefully, they won't have to do that any longer.

BadBlue XLmerge

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Letters to the Editor



Memorial Day - a NovelI've been crushed under a heavy workload and haven't been able to publish the many letters I receive regarding my blog. Here are a select few letters, which are pretty much representative of what I receive on a daily basis.

Dear Mr. Ross,

We wanted to point out an error in one of your recent blog entries. In fact, we do NOT recommend that our water-beds be filled with "Cheese Whiz [tm] to enhance the experience". In fact, filling our water-beds with any substance except water is almost surely a health and safety risk.

Yours in good hygiene,

Harley Posnucket, President
Harley's Discount Water-beds


Dear Mr. Ross,

Thank you very much for your recent contribution to our campaign^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hindependent organization. While a $5 gift certificate to Waffle House is certainly appreciated by my staffers, in the future please remember that nothing perks up a candidate like a stack of crisp, unmarked greenbacks.

Very truly yours,

George Sorros
MovinOn.org


Dear Sirs,

For years you and your cohorts have been giggling and chortling as you flagrantly mispronounce the name of our planet. For this reason, we hereby officially change its name to "Planet Sphincter". Please make a note of it.

Very truly yours,

The Citizens of the Planet Uranus
Planet Uranus
Outer Reaches of the Solar System


Dear Mr. Ross,

For the record, I take umbrage at your portrayal of me as a "big fat Republican". New flash: I've been on the Atkins diet for well over four days now and have lost upwards of six pounds.

Sincerely,

Michael Moore
New York City, New York


Dear Sirs,

We take exception to your oft-stated claim that "trial lawyers are trying to bankrupt" legitimate industries such as restaurants, firearm manufacturers, and dating services.

As a point of fact, our particular firm is responsible for bankrupting a whole host of companies in other industries as well, whether or not they deserve the legal burden we impose upon them. Why can't we greatly enrich ourselves at the expense of some deep-pocketed corporate fiefdoms? I mean, isn't that what capitalism is all about? Isn't that what makes America great?

Well, I for one, will not stand here idly while you bad-mouth the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

Very Sincerely Yours,

Timothy Budnesrk, Esq.
Budnesrk, Bramble, Thornwood LLC
Driving behind an ambulance
Somewhere in Ohio

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Ad Wars



A World Lit Only by Fire : The Medieval Mind and the Renaissance - Portrait of an Age by William ManchesterI could be mistaken, but television advertising has gotten much better (or at least, more effective) over the last fifteen or so years.

I have these tapes of great college basketball games that I made in the mid- to late-eighties. When I occasionally watch these old games, I'm struck by how bad some of the old commercials are. In fact, some are downright pathetic if we compare then and now. Here's an example: in 1987, a major insurance company ran a series of ads that featured a heart monitor tracing a heart beat. At least that's the most memorable part of the ad. Contrast that with today's equivalent: AFLAC's ubiquitous duck. That series of ads will probably run for a decade, or at least until a the duck overdoses, Belushi-style, on a coke/heroin "hardball". It ain't easy handling fame, even if you're a frickin' duck.

The beer wars are even better. Back in the day, you had the Budweiser Clydesdales (I never figured out how imagining the smell of horses**t sold a lot of beer, but maybe that's just me) and the "Tastes great, less filling" has-been sports celebs hawking Miller Lite.

Today, Miller is going after Anheuser-Busch in a big way. Their amusing "President of Beers" campaign ("...This is America, this isn't a Monarchy!...") was a nice jab at A-B. Then the carb counter ads (apparently, Miller Lite has only 3 carbohydrates compared to Bud Light's 420 carbohydrates, based upon my careful review of the commercial). And now Miller is running the taste tests, in which a Bud drinker:

a) sips an unmarked Miller beer and says, "mmmmmmmmmmm".
b) sips a Bud and then immediately gags, followed by a disgusting, lengthy sequence of projectile vomiting in which the camera is covered with goopy chunks

One can only imagine where this whole thing is going. Maybe Miller ads five years from now will show two brothers walking down the street with their dates. One is drinking a Miller, the other a Bud. The Bud drinker takes a sip and then spontaneously combusts, screaming as his entire body burns to a blackened crisp. The Miller brother looks over, shrugs and continues walking, this time with a beautiful girl on each arm.

Of course, the presidential election is going to escalate the entire debate. We've got groups like Move-on.org funding upwards of $50 million in TV ads (in what appear to be borderline-illegal soft-money campaign contributions). And then I'm sure some GOP bagman is funding similar ads pitching the viewpoint of groups like the Swiftboat Veterans, who are hammering Kerry on his service record.

Bottom line is I would love to know what Move-on's backers (George Soros?) are expecting out of a Kerry presidency that's worth $50 million. Where's CBS' crack investigative reporting on that topic? And who's actually funding the Swift-Vet's ads - and what do they want out of the deal?

I can envision how these campaign ads are going to escalate.

Kerry ad: shows battered troops in Iraq, flash-cutting scenes from Vietname back and forth, and ending with: "George Bush... he's gotten us into another Vietnam".

Bush ad: shows an Independence Day like special-effects sequence of New York City getting vaporized by a nuclear weapon, finishing with: "John Kerry thinks France will protect us. Do you?".

Let's just cut to the chase and air the really good ads!

DeskLog, Part V



A quick followup on the DeskLog concept. A large local company has expressed an interest in exploring the concept for proprietary use on their Intranet. I'll follow up in this space as ethical behavior and decorum permits. And don't giggle when I say that.

Sunday, August 15, 2004

Wrong number



Collections Made Easy: Fast, Efficient, Proven Techniques to Get Cash from Your CustomersHere's something that's sure to raise your blood pressure. Say, you walk in the door after a long weekend and play your voicemail messages. One of the messages says, in a voice that sounds like Peter Jennings on steroids:

Hello, this is Private Detective Scott Peters calling about a matter that may or may not involve you. Please call 1-866-555-5555 as soon as possible to resolve this matter.


Then you play another message, recorded the next day, which says:

This is Private Detective Scott Peters with Federated Security calling about an urgent matter. Please call 1-866-555-5555 immediately to resolve this matter.


So I'm pretty convinced that this is a scam or that we forgot to pay a bill somewhere along the line. We're punctual with our bills, but mistakes happen. Like the time in '95 that our water got shut off for several hours when we lost the water bill and never got the "warning notice" that supposedly was sent.

So I called up Private Detective Scott Peters. As expected, I got a pleasant you lady who identified herself as representative 4110. In a call-center. Probably east of Mumbai. I said that I'd received these mysterious calls and wanted an explanation. She asked for my phone number. She paused as she looked it up.

"Does Deborah Ross live in this house?", she asked. No, I responded.

"Is this phone number located at 312 West Oaks Boulevard?" No.

"Do you know a Deborah Ross?". No.

"Thank you. We'll take you off our list and will not contact you again." Disconnect.



The nearest I can figure is that this is a heavy-duty collections company that has bought a lot of bad debt on the cheap and is trying to collect it. For example, the credit-card companies can sell their uncollected debt to third-parties for fractions of the face value. A third-party company is then legally permitted to attempt to collect it and keep whatever they make. It can be a lucractive business, I'm sure. And this sort of call probably represents a new weapon in the collections war: ultra-aggressive lead investigation of people with the same surnames.

Children's Art



"If you work in an office with lots of people, chances are that you work with a person who hangs pictures up that their kids have drawn. The pictures are always of some stupid flower or a tree with wheels. These pictures suck; I could draw pictures much better. In fact, I can spell, do math and run faster than your kids. So being that my skills are obviously superior to those of children, I've taken the liberty to judge art work done by other kids on the internet. I'll be assigning a grade A through F for each piece..."
That's interesting, everyone in this picture is white. Even the rainbow is white. Perhaps in an ideal world, everyone would be white isn't that right, Rachel? Or should I call you RACIST? Nice try, Hitler. F


Crappy children's artwork

Saturday, August 14, 2004

Gym Characters



Bowflex Xtreme XTLUThe past 23 years, I've spent at least two -- and as many as five -- days a week in various gyms. From hole-in-the-wall ironhead gyms (one of which ended up getting forcibly closed by a Fire inspector) to plush state-of-the-art health facilities like NIFS in Indy and Tri-Health Pavilion in Cincy.

After a while, you tend to identify commonalities between the various kinds of characters that populate these places. Here are a few that I've categorized.

The Prima Donna - often an aging, hairy-armed, wannabe tough guy who refuses to let others work in with him and who monopolizes multiple pieces of equipment at a time. Frequently grows his hair (or what remains of it) into a frizzy, mullet-like appendage that is as out-of-place as Stephen Seagel at the Academy Awards. The Prima Donna does not socialize at the gym. He's there for one thing only: to work out and scope babes. And, yes, I know that's two things.

The Screamer - one of the more annoying gym types is the dude who screams or groans loudly on every repetitition, as if the physical workout is secondary in importance to his 'primal scream' therapy. The only humorous aspect to the Screamer is usually the contrasting -- and pathetic -- weight that's inciting the loud noises: a 150 pound bench press, for instance. Something's not right when 'Monica Seles' over in the corner with the tiny barbells is making more noise than our buddy Neal when he benches 500+ pounds.

The "alternative lifestyle" guy - actually, I haven't seen too many of these guys around, but there is one at the gym whose workout habits are so eccentric that I simply must describe them:

1) Puts on headphones, gets on the stair-climber and proceeds to swing his hips and head back and forth wildly while bouncing on the balls of his feet. Oddly, his feet are only depressing the climber steps about one or two inches at a time, so he's getting no aerobic workout other than the energy expended by shaking his ass.

2) Goes over to the back extension machine (sort of the reverse of an ab machine, for exercising the lower back) and proceeds to do hundreds or thousands of very fast, bouncy repetitions with almost no weight.

That's the whole workout from what I can tell. It's safe to say we're not talking Lance Armstrong-like energy expenditure here.

The Karate Kid - this is the boxer or karate wannabe who, while appearing physically weaker than Olga Korbut, is also remarkably insecure. Insecure enough to continually attempt demonstrations of his martial art through kicks or rapid punching sequences. Try to restrain your chortles and point him to the nearest Dojo, where the members there can clean up the mess.

The Juicer - well, every gym has its juicers (steroid abusers) and ours is no exception. Years ago, I was relieving myself at the urinal when the bodybuilder next to me noted, "Man, I'm peeing blood". Yes, he was built like a tiger, looked great and actually finished second at a metro body-building contest. A year later, he looked just like me. The Juicers tend to do that... they appear in the gym, look fantastic and lift enormous weights with ease. Let a few years elapse, though. They'll be as smooth as Diana Ross' face, plus have all the muscle mass of Michael Jackson.

The Fulcrum - let my friend Bernie describe a typical Fulcrum. Bernie is a consummate workout fiend who employs exceptional form, has great flexibility and strength, and knows his way around a gym. He is also one of the friendliest guys you'll ever meet, so for him to refer to someone as 'Fool'... well, there's probably a lot of truth to his observations. Here's his recent note to a few of us regulars regarding a typical "Fulcrum":

While I am squatting , some dude, I will call him fool from here on out, starts watching me. He comes, goes, comes , goes. I get 275 on the bar, by then, the power rack next to me had opened up. I turn to fool and say--what are you waiting for--the squat rack is open. he asks...how do you keep your neck from hurting? I mention you get used to it. He says "i havent squatted in forever" as he approaches my rack. He proceeds to get under the bar and say 'watch me'.

I mention--if you havent squatted in forever, and you are warming up with 275, u r one heck of a man. He says 'my legs are freaky strong'. I, of course, have no intention of 'watching' him. Fool can kill himself, I will not assist. Out of the corner of my eye, I watch him do about 6 shaky reps, just a little over 1/4 squats--barely bending his knees. He sets it down.

I dont say anything to him. Fool says 'my form is a bit rusty, got to get my neck used to the weight again, my legs are fine'. Fool then goes over to the white leg press (which anyone who has used it knows, is completely [screwed] up ergonomic wise) and put eight (8!) 45's on each side. I dont watch the set, as I am squatting.

I notice in between sets though, that he is slowly taking every 45 he can find. I will leave out some details, lets just skip to the last set. That white press has two levels of weight arms, and fool has BOTH of them completely full, and 2 more 45's lying in the middle. That is 34 45lbs plates! I cant take it anymore--i go over and sit on the incline bench so I can watch this stupendous feat of strength.

I point it out even to a few other guys, so they can enjoy this entertainment also. He pushes the weight up off the stops, opens them up, then thinks better of it, and closes them back down. Then fool does 8 'reps', moving the weight about 2 inches each rep--just off the stops!!! ahahahahahahahhaahhaahh... what an ass clown.


Fortunately, Fulcrums don't last at the gym too long because screwing around with 1600+ pounds tends to... well, you can guess what it does to your body if even one little thing goes awry. If you've ever seen a red spot on a gym wall, this is usually evidence that a Fulcrum once worked out there: the term 'popped a nut' may ring a bell. Advice to any would-be Fulcrum: don't make a testicle of yourself.

New Components Girl - this is the girl who suddenly shows up with new components. While attractive, the sudden contrast often startles and confuses the regulars. The phrase, "they're real... and they're spectacular", should never be uttered within earshot of this person.

Spandex Man - a forty-plus gentleman who, while not in the greatest of physical condition, still dares to wears a spandex tank top and spandex shorts -- sometimes striped for greater visual effect. Let's put it this way: you would not want to be around when he peels off this outfit in the locker room.




Please use the Comments feature, below, and let me know which Gym characters I've missed.

Thursday, August 12, 2004

Stem-cell Research



The Human Embryonic Stem Cell Debate: Science, Ethics, and Public Policy (Basic Bioethics)Here's a letter to the editor addressed to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution from my brother, which will likely never see the light of day (other than in this venue).

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
P. O. Box 4689
Atlanta, GA 30302

To the Editor:

The recent letters from readers comparing stem cell research to Edison's discovery of the light bulb, the Wright Brothers' invention of the airplane, and Ted Hoff's development of the microprocessor miss the point. The issue is not whether stem cell research should take place, but rather the extent to which such research should be funded by the federal government. There currently are no restrictions on privately funded embryonic stem cell research, and universities, including Harvard and Stanford, have set up their own privately funded stem cell research centers. Importantly, the light bulb, the airplane, and the microprocessor were all pioneered with private funds, not federal tax dollars.

Bennett L. Ross

Why you shouldn't be using passwords



User interface design for ProgrammersInteresting observation by Robert Hensing regarding passwords on Windows networks. He doesn't want you to use them, for a variety of reasons, but mostly because they're weak and exploitable. After describing why conventional passwords are ripe for the picking, he has a good suggestion for an alternative... that just happens to be compatible with Windows' password constraints and policies.

...So here's the deal - I don't want you to use passwords, I want you to use pass-PHRASES. What is a pass-phrase you ask? Let's take a look at some of my recent pass-phrases that I've used inside Microsoft for my 'password'.

“If we weren't all crazy we would go insane“ (Jimmy Buffet rules)

“Send the pain below!“ (I like Chevell too)

“Mean people suck!“ (it's true)

So why are these pass-phrases so great?

1. They meet all password complexity requirements due to the use of upper / lowercase letters and punctuation (you don't HAVE to use numbers to meet password complexity requirements)

2. They are so freaking easy for me to remember it's not even funny. For me, I find it MUCH easier to remember a sentence from a favorite song or a funny quote than to remember 'xYaQxrz!' (which b.t.w. is long enough and complex enough to meet our internal complexity requirements, but is weak enough to not survive any kind of brute-force password grinding attack with say LC5, let alone a lookup table attack). That password would not survive sustained attack with LC5 long enough to matter so in my mind it's pointless to use a password like that. You may as well just leave your password blank.

3. I dare say that even with the most advanced hardware you are not going to guesss, crack, brute-force or pre-compute these passwords in the 70 days or so that they were around (remember you only need the password to survive attack long enough for you to change the password).


Why you shouldn't be using passwords of any kind on your Windows networks

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Bias



Bias : A CBS Insider Exposes How the Media Distort the NewsVeteran CBS reporter Bernard Goldberg set off a firestorm of controversy when he authored a Wall St. Journal Op-Ed that stated what many believed was obvious. His contention that the mainstream media was biased toward the left struck many as a certainty, but the management of CBS was not among them. 'Bias' covers the days and months after the column was published, the reaction by his colleagues and managers, as well as a more thorough analysis of the media's reporting habits.

Reknowned for its history of credible reporting (epitomized by Edward R. Murrow), CBS turned a blind eye to Goldberg's critique and, instead of examining the issue, attacked the messenger with callous disregard. Goldberg, a self-described liberal who had never voted Republican, soon found himself without a role at CBS and eventually without a job.

What is most shocking about this tale is not the overwhelming evidence that the media consistently sides with liberal causes, but the brutality with which CBS management attacked him. You'd imagine a network that promotes whistle-blowing in every segment of business and government (e.g., 60 Minutes) would be willing to examine its own industry. But you'd be wrong. Led by the cult of Dan (Rather), who wields considerable force among the head honchos, CBS overreacted with an astounding pattern of official denials and sanctioned counter-attacks.

Goldberg carefully examines the hot-button issues of the last two decades: AIDS, homelessness, and terrorism among them. He notes the spin, the politicization and the woeful omissions that, while newsworthy, won't sell advertising. For example, Goldberg found it interesting that homelessness in the country apparently ceased to exist when Bill Clinton took office (especially amazing, since it started the day Reagan was sworn in), based upon an analysis of mainstream media coverage. He eulogizes AIDS activist Randy Shilts, who was, "...courageous enough to say that despite what the media were telling America, AIDS was not 'The Killer Next Door'."

And he points out the double standard applied to journalists like USA Today columnist Julianne Malveaux, who publicly hoped for Clarence Thomas' death; or NPR's Nina Totenberg, who expressed a desire that Jessie Helms (or his grandchildren) contract AIDS. If a conservative journalist advocated similar fates for Jessie Jackson or Ted Kennedy, they'd be out of a job in seconds flat.

Goldberg closes with a careful look at how the media treats terrorism, Islam as a whole, and the Palestinian position regarding Israel. Simply put, the facts of the situation do not reflect what the media has been reporting. And in this, the age of nuclear terrorism, the omissions are truly stunning.

The only bone to pick with the book is that it could use a few more cold, hard statistics. Goldberg's argument is strongest when he uses tables to back his contentions. But, despite this, 'Bias' is a fast, enlightening read that should be read by every American who watches the news.

If you already believe in the media's liberal bias, you'll enjoy the anecdotes and statistics that support your contention. And if you don't believe it, read the latest peer-reviewed study of the issue* and then read this book. You might just gain a different perspective on the matter.

* See "A Measure of Media Bias", UCLA & University of Chicago, Sept. 2003

Oh, and Al Franken: you just got BITCH SLAPPED*



Try to spin these statistics, putz.

"'The mainstream media does not have a liberal bias. . . . ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, the New York Times, The Washington Post, Time, Newsweek and the rest -- at least try to be fair.' --Al Franken. (2003) Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right.

The main conclusion of our paper is that our results simply reject such claims."

A Measure of Media Bias, Tim Groseclose, Department of Political Science, UCLA, and Graduate School of Business, Stanford University; Jeff Milyo, Harris School of Public Policy, University of Chicago, September 2003

* "Bitch-slapped" is the term Franken used with his weak attack on Goldberg's book, when he found a flaw in the analysis of a single John Chancellor quote. This is typical of Franken's tortured logic, which -- once again -- was about as accurate and successful as his liberal radio network.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Fast Broke



Don't Get Taken Every Time : The Ultimate Guide to Buying or Leasing a Car in the Showroom or on the InternetI just got back from a lovely day trip to scenic Washington in which I traveled through what may be the most hellish airport in the US. This would be none other than Dulles Airport in Virginia, which holds the Guinness Book record for...

Worst inter-terminal transit system: to get from terminal to terminal, we board a pod-like bus, which has been cleverly designed to feed us exhaust fumes from both itself and any nearby jets. Each terminal bus is crammed with characters that might have escaped from a Star Wars Cantina.

We are joined together with persons of every nationality, all of us wondering why we're driving around on an airport tarmac... in a bus that looks like Ozzie & Harriet's vision of the future... but smells like a sulfur factory working double shifts. Once we arrive at the destination terminal, we're disgorged through double doors at the front of the bus, like meat through a grinder. I believe the Nazis had a system similar to this, only more efficient.

We make our way through hill and dale, the innards of Dulles that are under perpetual construction, herded like rats through a maze. Twisty little passages, all alike, looking for the cheese that is truly the daylight at the end of the tunnel. Ahh, ground transportation. And our trusty Budget Rent-a-Car Bus awaits us.

A quick ten-minute jaunt to the lot has us in high spirits. After all, one in our party -- Mark -- is a member of Budget's coveted "Fast Break" club. This means he can simply pick any car off the lot and drive it off. Yes... it's... just... that... simple.

Hold the phone!

There are no cars in the lot, despite our "Fast Break" reservation. We reluctantly enter the Budget office and it, too, is brimming with denizens of every social strata. There is a line of bald-headed biker-types, gang-banger wannabes, and several intense, obviously late business people who look scarier than any of the others. They are all waiting for cars.

Mark side-steps the line and sidles to the side of the counter, which is a body-language statement that says, "Hey! I'm a member of 'Fast Break'!". Sorta like a dog, urinating on the ground to stake his turf.

A member of the crack Budget staff sidles over with all the alacrity of an 80-year-old climbing a steep flight of stairs. "Get in line with the rest," he says. Mark is crestfallen. At least today, a "Fast Break" member has no more privileges than a first-time customer.

Interestingly, the place is teeming with Budget employees, all drinking coffee, walking from one end of the room to the other, talking with each other. But only one or two are behind the desk, servicing customers at any one moment.

In fact, as each customer is processed, the service rep breaks the monotony by wandering into the back office, where -- possibly -- other employees are gathered watching a video feed of irate customers in line. I can imagine them panning and zooming, focusing on one muttering customer after another.

And their work process is fascinating. There is no division of labor. As a service rep handles a customer picking up a car, that same person walks out from behind the desk, finds a car, drives it to the pump, gasses it up, and then takes it to the back to get it washed.

This, despite the fact that there are a large number of the aforementioned employees who are wandering around, drinking coffee, walking in and out of the restroom, talking, and generally doing absolutely nothing visible that would help speed up the process.

Now I'm no Gary Peters, or whoever the dude was that wrote the Business Excellence books, but I'm pretty sure I could design a better process flow than what they're using here. It would involve text pagers, a starter pistol, and the "punishment hole" from the movie Stalag 17.

Within twenty or so minutes, we are outside waiting for our red Mercury Grand Marquis. My closely shaven scalp is getting burned in the pre-noon sun.

A fly sputters in mid-air and then dies, auguring into the ground. It leaves only a black oily spot on the asphalt.

A large piece of tumbleweed rolls by, pausing briefly in front of us, as if to inspect another sorry lot of customers.

After forty-or-so minutes of exceptional "Fast Break" service, our car arrives. It is a sparkling exemplar of American Manufacturing. Plush 8-way leather power seats. Enough room for six. A trunk big enough for Tony Soprano.

And the air conditioning doesn't work.

The cool thing about the "Fast Break" logo is that it has squiggly lines hanging off some of the letters, signifying just how fast it is. It's a cool logo. Trouble is, the rest of the company doesn't seem to be coming close to the logo in terms of quality.

Executive Summary: "Fast Break" is broke. Bad.

Monday, August 09, 2004

A Mobile Phone Story


Cell Phones: Invisible Hazards in the Wireless Age: An Insider's Alarming Discoveries about Cancer and Genetic DamageThe story you are about to hear is true. Only the company name has been changed -- to protect the guilty, because there are no innocents in this story. Hint: the company -- one of the two remaining large telcos in the country -- has seven letters in its name.

This weekend I noticed something funny about my cellphone. I had it plugged in to the charger and every few seconds it beeped. I looked at the face-plate. "Charge complete", it said. Ten seconds later it would beep again and make the same claim.

But when I tried to use it, it was deader than a door-nail. It simply would not boot. Oh, the Motorola logo came up on the color screen, and the whiz-bang "I'm starrrrrrrting" tune played (just to mock me, I'm sure), but that was as far as it got.

Now this wasn't the first time my Motorola 720 had exhibited a certain, shall we say, schizophrenia. I'd bought it in April 2003 and signed up for a two-year service contract. I'd been with DontCareCo since '98 and had been relatively pleased with the service. Or as pleased as anyone can be with an uncaring, faceless beauracracy that existed only to siphon $50 to $100 out of my bank account like clockwork every month.

But the Motorola phone being aggressively hawked back in '03 was a humdinger. In fact, driving away from the store after purchasing it, I noticed it had switched to Analog mode. Uhmm, strange... there's a brand new digital cell tower within 500 yards of the store. I drove in a circle and went back to the store. The wireless gurus there pulled the battery out, pushed it back in, and everything appeared to reset just fine. Back to Digital mode. I took the phone back... my first mistake in this saga... and drove away.

Over time I started to experience all of the firmware bugs that other friends and colleagues with the same phone complained about. Keyboard dead? Solution: pop the battery out, then replace it. Clock stops working? Pop the battery. No incoming calls? Pop it. Have you detected a pattern for troubleshooting the 720 phone here?

You know they say that ten million monkeys all banging away on ten million chipset development systems could come up with the perfect cellphone firmware package within a thousand or so years. Or at least I think they say something like that.

But Motorola didn't have enough funding to hire ten million monkeys, or even a few hundred, so they got the next best thing. They hired the top three primate programmers in the world and gave them carte blanche. Unlimited bananas. A suite at the Holiday Inn Express. A VCR with Doctor Doolittle playing on loopback.

Their productivity was amazing. Within a few weeks, they'd created the entire firmware package for the 720 phone and passed it on to an equally qualified simian testing team that performed test & verification. These QA chimps signed off after a rigorous twenty minute acceptance test and the 720 was launched. And did those monkizays cut loose at the launch partizay! A round of banana splits on the house, garcon!

Truthfully, I'm just speculating on how Motorola actually developed the 720 firmware, but from all appearances, I'm pretty sure that's how it happened.

My second mistake -- repeated countless times -- was bringing back the phone to DontCareCo on multiple occasions only to have them examine it and proclaim it "fine". If my phone was "fine", then a "fine wine" must be a bottle of MD 20 20 left open in sweltering heat for two weeks.

So my phone's death this weekend occasioned yet another trip to DontCareCo at Fields Ertel. After the obligatory ten minute wait in line (which I believe is officially required by corporate dictate, from what I gather), I was told that the phone need to be "re-flashed". Best of all, they had no facility for "re-flashing" phones at this location. Apparently the technology required to "re-flash" is so rare, so expensive and requires such expertise (possibly a Doctorate in re-flashing), that only the Tri-County location of DontCareCo was qualified to handle a project of this magnitude.

With hopeful excitement that, in retrospect, represented either unbridled naivete or rarefied ignorance, I drove to Tri-County on Monday. After I waited the required ten minutes, the gentlemen behind the counter just looked at me. He didn't say anything. He just eyed me like I had come to steal his lunch. He faced me with all the enthusiasm of a Greyhound driver being asked to drive coast-to-coast a day from retirement.

I explained the problem. He accepted the phone -- tentatively -- almost as if he didn't want to get involved. He gingerly held it between thumb and index finger, as if he were at risk of catching a "workaholic" virus.

After turning over the phone several times, I commented that he might try to turn it on. He was not pleased with my suggestion. He did so, with a sigh, and it froze again while starting up, its tune mocking me again. He looked at the Motorola logo that was proudly displayed on the screen of the now useless phone. And he stated his diagnosis with all the conviction of a master phone clinician.

"This screen is bad. We can't fix this."

Okay, let me get this straight. Somehow, the keyboard doesn't work, incoming calls aren't accepted, and the screen has magically decided to light its pixels in the shape of the Motorola logo... but it's the screen that's bad. Hmmmmm. Master Phone Clinician he may be, but I counter with:

"Maybe you could try re-flashing it."

He claimed that re-flashing really won't do anything for the phone. After his careful diagnostic inspection, I'm loathe to argue with him, but I tell him that the Fields Ertel people had suggested re-flashing.

He sighed. A long sigh. A pained sigh. One that implied that he might actually have to move off of his chair and place the phone on the table behind him. He finally did so with a grunt. He tossed it casually onto the table and said, "that'll be 45 minutes."

I said I'd be back. I said thank you. You know, honey, flies, that sorta thing.

I was back at about 1pm, three hours later. My master clinician was no longer there. Possibly he had passed out in the back from exhaustion. I bypassed the queue of desperate, phoneless people and said to a girl at the counter, "I left my phone here three hours ago to be re-flashed."

I saw my phone sitting in the exact same place on the table. I was pretty sure it hadn't moved. It might even have had cobwebs on it, I'm not sure. She retrieved it, turned it on, and discovered that it was still frozen. I groaned inside. I asked her whether they had re-flashed it. She said she didn't know, "I just showed up." She said to have a seat and she would check into it. So once again DontCareCo had found a way to make me wait ten minutes. Again, I'm pretty certain that this is a corporate policy because it is adhered to at virtually all locations.

After about 600 seconds had elapsed, she returned. She said I would have to go to the "Customer Service" line. So I could, presumably, get service since I was a customer. I looked at the line, which promised yet another ten minute wait. I said I would have to come back later, because I needed to get back to the office.

At 4:30pm I returned. The Customer Service line was empty. I sidled up to the representative behind the counter. He was very excited and pleased to see me. Actually, no. Apparently, he had attended the same enthusiasm classes as his peers, which was to say that his enthusiasm had been carefully sucked from every crevice of his body by some sort of Corporate Training Dracula.

I explained my situation. I told him I was headed out of town. I needed a phone, a loaner, a junky old phone, anything. His fingers danced over the keyboard. Maybe he was on Monster.com looking for a new job. In any event, after some typing, he told me that I was out of warranty by a few months and that I needed to pay a $50 replacement fee to replace the utterly defective phone they'd sold me.

I patiently explained the history of this pathetic Motorola phone, the litany of visits, the legacy of pain, the suffering. Oh, the humanity! He didn't care.

"Look, my contract is up in six months, and I'm gone if you guys don't make this right. This phone stinks and everyone I know with it says it stinks, too."

"Well, at least it's not as bad as the Samsung," he replied.

"You know, I figure I've paid your company about $4,000 over the last few years. The least you could do is help me out on this. It's not like I hit the phone with a hammer and now want to get a new one. This phone is flat-out defective!"

His fingers sang on the keyboard. Yes, he was a veritable Tchaikovsky of the DontCareCo point-of-sale system.

"Well... I guess we could sell you a new phone at the current prices listed out there," he gestured at the showroom, "if you sign up for a new two year agreement.".

Hell with that. I told him, politely, no. Bill me $50. Send me a replacement.

Goodbye DontCareCo. Goodbye Motorola. Within a few months, I'll be rid of both of you and I'll be on a no-contract system with our RBOC. I'm happy, my brother's happy, and DontCareCo can pound sand.

I'm going to TargetWorld to bust a few caps into some silhouettes. And it will take serious willpower not to imagine some DontCareCo logos emblazoned on the silhouettes.

Sunday, August 08, 2004

Plain Dealer



The Bias Against Guns: Why Almost Everything You've Heard About Gun Control Is WrongIt's only been a few days since the Cleveland-Plain Dealer's Doug Clifton published a list of Ohio's Concealed Carry License holders. And already, one of the license holders is dead. Clifton attempted to justify his efforts thusly:

In the past two days, The Plain Dealer ran a list of the Northeast Ohioans who applied for and got a license to carry a concealed weapon.

We were able to do so because the state legislature... gave the news media access to the list. The general public is not allowed to see it.


In other words, Clifton plainly admits that he subverted the will of the Ohio Legislature, which did not want unfettered public access to the list. And why did the legislature wish to protect the identities of license holders? Let's consider who actually applies for licenses, given the strict background checks, 12 hour training requirements, and cost and nuisance factor:

- Women trying to protect themselves from abusive ex-husbands and boyfriends
- Business-people who carry large amounts of cash or valuables in the course of their jobs
- Senior citizens who have no other way to protect themselves

Now, only days later, Bill Singleton -- a store-owner who had already been robbed twice -- is dead. And his name had just been printed as a license-holder by the Plain-Dealer. According to Chad Baus of OFCC's Political Action Committee:

Why did editor Doug Clifton act to put people like Bill Singleton at so much risk by revealing to potential attackers that they are armed, and why do they promise to continue to do so?

Why did Doug Clifton decide that these innocent, law-abiding citizens, desperate to protect themselves from violent criminals that no gun control law or background check can stop, are the ones needing to be treated like persons of suspicion?

Initial accounts say the robbers shot first, ambush-style.


One can only hope that Clifton and the Plain-Dealer end up in court or in front of the Legislature, as the subjects of a suit or as the targets of a full-scale investigation. Subverting the intent of the law may be tantamount, in this case, to breaking the law.

Days after Plain Dealer ''outing''; CHL-holder Bill Singleton is dead

Middle America, my A**



Very entertaining column from Doug Giles. The following are some excerpts, but the whole column is well worth a read.

When I hear John Kerry and John Edwards try to pawn off on the American public that they are defenders of middle class Americans… veritable ubermen for us struggling underdogs … yes, advocates of our values, fears and needs. I wonder, what time does The Three Stooges come on?

I’m not buying their rhetoric or the happy, hugging and grinning, let’s eat at Wendy’s shtick they threw our way last week either. What did they expect us to do when we viewed their temporary make over? Elbow our wife and say, “Look Arlene, they’re just like us, they eat at Wendy’s! Garsh … we oughta vote for them … pass the opossum gravy!?!”

Did you see how Kerry held his Wendy’s hamburger? He looked and handled that Single with cheese like a beaker of someone else’s urine. Hey, Mr. Kerry, we might earn less in a year than the one of the bathrooms in your four mansions cost, but that doesn’t make us blonde...

...As hard as they try and, dear God, they are trying hard … Kerry and Edwards,
just don’t have that mid-American feel.

Take John Edwards, for instance: no real person smiles that much. Middle Americans don’t beam that bountifully. Neither Jesus nor kids stoned on expensive weed grin that much. Only avaricious ambulance chasing lawyers, running for vice president and trying to off set their Lurch-like presidential
running mate, smile that much. This grinning Edwards reminds me of the overly gleeful guy who sold me a ’75 Firebird back in ’79, which turned out to be a complete piece of crap. And be sure of this: John Edwards is to Dick Cheney what Potsie was to the Fonz. The debates should prove interesting.

Then we have Kerry’s esposa, Maria Teresa Thierstein Simoes-Ferreira Heinz Kerry. Her name alone screams Middle America doesn’t it? ...

... All the writers for the X-Files, Half-Baked, Evita and The Twilight Zone could never have dreamed up Teresa Heinz Kerry. She’s neither Middle America nor middle earth. Her billion bequeathed dollars that fund some of the most liberal loopy organizations scream to the rest of us, “We really have nothing in common with you”. I hate to admit it, but watching Tessy the other night actually made me long to see and hear Hillary again. At least she’s decipherable in her deportment. Madame Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious represents the peripheral liberals of the ludicrous left … not middle class Americans.

Hollywood, also, is working hard trying to get Kerry elected. Here’s another Kerry support group that really mirrors the wants of us common folk, right?

Ah, Hollywood with its swinging clubs and Hustler superstores: where statutory rapists can win an Oscar, where the famous can send their kids to elite high schools where they may attend cross dressing classes, where nannies have support groups to deal with the stress these charmed few generate, and where the head of a prostitution ring can crawl out of prison and be an instant celebrity…. Yes, Middle America, I think we should follow these luminaries. Why? Well … because … uh … because … they are on TV!

Then we have Michael Moore. He’s a perfect mirror of Middle America, isn’t he? Did you see him propped up in his box seat at the DNC, sitting there like the Goodyear blimp overlooking the festivities? If Michael Moore had been in charge, according to Christopher Hitchens, “Slobodan Milosevic would still be
the big man in a starved and tyrannical Serbia. Bosnia and Kosovo would have been cleansed and annexed … Afghanistan would still be under Taliban rule … Kuwait would have remained part of Iraq … and Iraq itself would still be the personal property of a psychopathic crime family, bargaining covertly with the
slave state of North Korea for WMD.” That’s kinda middle American-ish… right?

...My ClashPoint is this: John Kerry’s political track record is what you should be eyeballing. You see, it’s not just his grinning would-be Veep; not his Hollywood hepatitis C crowd; not his Jurassic rock stars. It’s not even his ‘Nam war films [which we now know Kerry himself shot during staged re-enactments of the action]. It’s what he has stood for, the last two decades, the ultra-left record of his time in the U.S. Senate.

You know, the facts that he has so ardently tried to hide, and not his current “look the other way” fabrications. Facts like: over the last 20 years Senator Kerry has voted again and again to cut spending on the military and on the intelligence services, in stark contrast to his “I will be strong militarily” bluster.

No you won’t, Senator. You never have been and never will be.

No matter how many hamsters he’s rescued, he will be a weak, wait-until-we’re-hit-here before-we-hit-back leader. How many times has he told us we must always wait for the UN to give us their thumbs up, before we dare do anything? In this day of international terrorism and nuclear suitcases we can’t afford a Commander in Chief who has proved himself feckless philanderer of time and opportunity, time and again...

What disturbs me most about Kerry is his masking his record instead of seriously coming clean regarding how he has voted, where he currently stands and what he intends to do. By rights, he should quit trying to be “us” and stop running those Mayberry RFD commercials starring Kerry as Andy Griffith when he’s
anything but: he’s the most liberal Senator in the Senate and his values in no way mirror middle class Americans.


Middle America my A**

Saturday, August 07, 2004

Dereliction of Duty



Dereliction of Duty: Eyewitness Account of How Bill Clinton Compromised America's National Security by Robert 'Buzz' PattersonI just posted this review to Amazon.

3.5 stars Very disturbing but adds unnecessary speculation

Lt. Col. Buzz Patterson served two years as President Clinton's Senior Military Aide. In that role, he provided logistic support, planned for contingencies, and -- most importantly -- carried the president's emergency satchel, better known as the 'nuclear football'. The football provides the ability to dispatch nuclear weaponry and is inarguably the one item the president should never be without. Patterson's book is shocking, but not without warts of its own.

That Patterson is trustworthy and honest is unquestioned. Those reviewers who claim the information is fabricated need to recognize two simple facts: (a) people who aren't honest don't get 'Yankee White' security clearances, which the Military Aides must have; and (b) someone would have sued for libel had these startling allegations been groundless.

The most shocking allegation relates to Clinton's unwillingness to make a decision while Sandy Berger awaited a 'go' order to launch a major raid on Iraq. His reason? He was too busy -- for several hours -- talking with Vernon Jordan and watching golf. Berger apparently called several times during the window of opportunity, but by the time Clinton got around to calling back, the mission had been aborted.

Other Clinton gaffes: losing the nuclear launch codes (the only time they've ever been irretrievably lost); leaving a meeting -- and the aide with the nuclear football -- behind due to impatience; and his administration's questionable dealings with China that many believe gave it access to the US military's ICBM technology.

In the second part of the book, Patterson calls into question Clinton's 'CNN diplomacy'. As he points out, "from 1946 to 1991, the [US] deployed military troops in eight foreign campaigns. During the Clinton years, we deployed troops to at least 40 separate foreign locations." The classic example was turning tail in Somalia (after preventing the military from deploying its requested weapons systems like AC-130s) sufficiently emboldened one of the instigators that few had heard of before: Osama bin Laden. OBL used America's retreat successfully as a recruiting tool.

Because of Clinton's unwillingness to act decisively, and treating terrorism as a law enforcement problem, Patterson pins 9/11 directly on Clinton. "From 1993 to 2001, Islamic terrorists attacked American targets eight separate times. If there's anything beyond scandal that we should most remember about the Clinton years, this is it: They were the years that terrorists brought their war to the [America]."

And he brings up additional damning evidence: A 1996 Presidential Daily Brief that that referenced a plot to use commercial airliners as weapons. Patterson categorically states that both Clinton and his intelligence leadership knew about the 9/11-style attack five years prior. The administration's constant efforts to run the country based upon poll numbers was the culprit, according to Patterson.

Two nits to pick: there is a fair amount of unsubstantiated innuendo and gossip: were the missing Rose law records really in Hillary's plastic file container that had to travel with her at all times? Was Hillary really a b**ch to the staff? We could have probably done without the speculation. Also - the book was very short - probably worthy of a long magazine article (in "Vanity Fair", perhaps ? :-) instead. Maybe it probably should have been made into a full blown biography of Patterson. Nonetheless it is informative and quite disturbing.

Clinton himself was personally quite likable, Patterson says. But his eight years as Commander-in-Chief were a disaster from the standpoint of foreign relations and national security. Islamic terrorists, North Korea's secret nuclear program, and the Pakistani nuclear parts network all flourished under Clinton's watch. And that truly will be his legacy.

Friday, August 06, 2004

DeskLog, part 4



User interface design for ProgrammersHere's a mockup of the DeskLog concept, discussed in the last few entries. Combination intranet weblog and public "desktop", DeskLog provides some interesting personal presence and workflow capabilities.

DeskLog Mockup by Doug Ross


More on this later.

Thursday, August 05, 2004

DeskLog, part 3



User interface design for ProgrammersPete had some good feedback on my DeskLog post from a couple of days ago. His remarks are in bold with my responses interspersed throughout.

I don't understand your email accountability retort. Yes a person can ignore their e-mail inbox, but they could also ignore their desklog too. In either case the driver of the work item would know the person received the message. Unless you put in some access controls that don't allow someone to manage (ie delete) items in their inboxes, they would always be able to claim they accidently deleted it.

They could ignore their desklog, but the difference is - it's transparent to the rest of the world. Say I needed you to approve or deny a request for an Aeron chair. The request can not be deleted. It's either in your inbox or your outbox. Either way, everyone (including me, the requestor) can see whether you've gotten to it or not. They can't read the text of the request, but they can see the title. They know how many items are in your queue. So the differences between email and DeskLog are simply accountability and transparency.

I don't think a simple hierarchical trust relationships would suffice.. Who I need to work with doesn't alway fit my reporting structure.

That's true. However, I do know most large organizations (even if they're matrixed) still have an ostensible, hierarchial manager (and sometimes, for senior folks, an administrative assistant). And, in fact, the LDAP standard schema for inetOrgPerson - supported by many Fortune 100 companies - has one attribute named manager and one for an admin. These relationships are based upon RFC-standard schemas and are used for great effect in org-charts, workflow, ad hoc reporting, etc. by lots of third-party products. I envision DeskLog as just another third party offering supporting these standards.

Would this 'inbox' be an aggregate of e-mail and desklog stuff? If so there are some prickly privacy issues to deal with.

Nope. This is a virtual inbox and outbox dedicated to DeskLog. There are no privacy issues - this is a work-related application and only you (and, perhaps your hierarchical managers, if the product has been installed that way) can see the contents of the file-folders in the boxes. Everyone else can see the folder titles, senders, dates, etc. - but can't see the contents.

Let's assume my desklog inbox contain only desklog work items. Does it aggregate items from all the projects I'm working on or do I have multiple inboxes? If it's an aggregation why would I want people from one project seeing my other work items.

Good question. You probably don't want them seeing everything, but they will. There might be some simple forms of categorization, a la Gmail. There will be a search box, so you can find items that you're interested in. But, just like the physical inbox on your desk, you get one 'pile'. It's up to you to shuffle them, prioritize them, label them, but... it's still one pile. The whole idea is transparency. Wouldn't it be neat that -- before you submit a purchase requisition -- you can see that the person who handles the reqs has a backlog of 100? And her desklog blog section says she's on vacation? I think so. I might just charge the item on my corporate card and file an expense report. Again, the transparency is the key. It's like walking into her office, seeing that she's not there, and that there are 100 file folders in her inbox. It's the virtual equivalent of that.

On workflow products, the only one I've used is the venerable Notes/Domino. People use it all the time to build less general versions of the workflow apps such as desklog. In fact, I believe you could do all of what you describe and with better security using Notes/Domino today.

Probably true. The only really large organizations with Notes (e.g., between 15,000 and 100,000 seats) I'm familiar with don't use it for workflow. They use it for email only. Never really asked why. Probably complexity, training issues or something like that.

I envision this as a stand-alone offering that leverages existing standards (e.g., SMTP/POP3/IMAP for email notifications), LDAP for retrieving user attribute info, HTTP for delivery of the pages.

I hope to have some mockups of DeskLog up this weekend.

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

DeskLog, part 2



User interface design for ProgrammersLoyal reader "Not-so-Anonymous" responded to my DeskLog post with some interesting comments. His remarks are in bold with my take interspersed throughout.


Email already has accountability. Turn on return receipt and you will get confirmation of when the email was delivered to their inbox. With all modern email systems, including Exchange, Notes, and simple SMTP, this is non-refutable proof that an email was received.

I disagree. If I don't even open the email ("oh, it's from Lester, he's just got some more crap for me to do, I'll read that later."), there's no read-receipt. And, depending upon the email client, it's easy to evade even if you read the message. This is a straw-man argument, and I think I just set the straw-man on fire.

Second problem is that a boss like Bob would suck-- someone who micromanaged to the point of walking around to everyone's desk and checking their files (even digitally)? I just don't think a good business would do (or allow) these kinds of actions, and thus, this selling point is also moot.

I beg to differ on this point as well. What Pointy-haired-boss (PHB) wouldn't love being able to check through their underlings' backlog? This is the digital equivalent. And, more importantly, the transparency that DeskLog provides is also extremely useful for normal people ("how far back in the queue is my request?"). That kind of transparency is exactly why DeskLog would be so valuable. I would love to have it in my office, for instance, to see how where my expense report is in the queue, to see if a project manager has a high workload or not, etc.

On to encryption...or how else were you planning to achieve the "signature" workflow? If you upload a document for someone to sign, they are going to need to put a real signature on it. Never mind the fact that most companies still require ink on paper (not even photocopy is acceptable). Let's even assume that a copy or digital signature is acceptaible-- now your DeskLog product has to have crypto built in (or a scanner at every desk) to perform the signing and signature checking. Now its not server based anymore, which means you'll need client software on the ground at each desk. This is a big no-no in a Fortune NNN environment.

I think you're over-engineering this issue. No crypto, no digital signatures, just a "confirmation number" system. Let's say Bob wants to sign off on my request. Since he's authenticated to DeskLog, the system knows it's him. He can request a unique confirmation number when he's ready to sign off. Bob just pastes his confirmation number into the document. There's a record in the system confirming Bob created the confirmation number in case we ever needed to audit this event. It's similar to Avis: they don't digitally sign confirmations. They "sign" a confirmation by giving me a unique number.

As far as gathering quantitiaive metrics for the work done by an individual, I just don't think technology is the answer. Some of the smartest, hardest working people I know generate about 10 lines of code per day. Sure, its a super-insanenly complicated crypto algorithm, but its pitiful progress from a quantative metric persepective nonetheless. Also, how do you apply this quatitative metric to a non-technical role (which is obviously what you are focusing on since all your examples are about signatures and workflow)? If metrics are being gathered on managers based on how quickly (or how many) forms they sign, then it will rapidly become a contest between managers to see who can sign forms the fastest. In the end, I think the review quality of their work will suffer horribly under the pretense of efficiency. Thousands of large companies have tried to use metrics...and none of them have succeeded in yielding any benefit to the organization.

Yep, I agree, but all of these metrics are still used to some extent. KLOC, compexity metrics, all of the crap that PHB's and MBA's love. Whether or not it has merit, that's precisely why the PHB's would love it. Let's face it, call-centers, support centers, and lots of other business processes already measure everything. Many (not all, certainly) non-technical processes are begging for this type of reporting and analysis.

Ok, so we're down to Workflow. For this item, you may be on to something. Existing workflow packages are very complex and difficult to maintain. But both those problems are the price of haveing a truly generalized business routing architecture. Oh, and they are expensive. I'm presuming DeskLog would be significantly cheaper... But, what kind of benefits could it actually achieve in the workflow space? Its not clear to me that DeskLog would provide anything more complex than a simple "next-in-line" workflow, which can done via email in most modern systems.

Yes, this is a relatively simple workflow process... but, even though it starts out simple, it could become quite powerful. For example, because DeskLog is 100% LDAP-compliant ( :-), it supports the groupOfNames object-class. Thus, instead of a user's name in the workflow, we could specify a group. Say, "Timesheet-Administrators". The folder would appear in all of their inboxes (say, a shimmering, nearly transparent color that signifies its gone to a team). So anyone on the team could process it.

We could grow the workflow functionality substantially from the simple scheme I've described. I wanted to start it off simply - to provide a combination desktop and blog and then leverage the workflow from there. More on that later.

My final thoughts: most of what you described would provide no benefit to a real company, and hence is a waste of time. For the one piece that may provide benefit, you need to refine your idea and find a niche before attempting to make it a reality (or sell it).


I disagree. I think the user community would use it because it provides transparency into business processes that -- today -- have no transparency. PHB's would love it for management and quantitative reasons. The users would thus be forced to engage because of the management factor. And IT folks would appreciate the pragmatic workflow capabilities.

Your straw-man's burning. You may want to put him out. :-)

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

DeskLog



Blogging: Genius Strategies for Instant Web ContentI've had this crazy idea for a while that the whole web-logging thing hasn't been leveraged by IT in any effective way. In some casual discussions with senior Fortune 500 folks, I proposed the following:

Imagine a DeskLog, which represents your personal weblog on the corporate intranet. It might have a picture of you, your current contact information, and your current status (i.e., on vacation, alternative contact info, temporary chain-of-command, in the office, etc.).

But in addition to the standard, diary-like capabilities of a web-log, there are some gadgets depicted that are far more important for conducting business:

1) An inbox with pretty little file folders listed, with the titles of each folder visible to the public
2) An outbox - ditto for stuff that you've processed and dispatched based upon the desired workflow

If someone wants to give you a document to review or ask a question, they place it in your inbox. They don't have to email it to you, where all accountability is lost.* How many times have you heard, "Oh, I lost that email" or "I never got it". Now the request is in their inbox - and everyone on the intranet can see the file folder's title.

To place something in an inbox, you just fill out a simple form (or choose a form from a template) with a title, a message, attach a file, and (optionally) a suggested routing order. For example, say I want my boss Bob to sign off on a travel authorization. I fill out the form as follows:

Title: Doug Ross travel auth 8/4
Message: Bob, going up to visit the prime on a contract-required visit. Thks, --doug
Attachment: Travel-Auth-Form.doc
Routing: Doug Ross


Bob knows exactly what to do with this. He checks it out, signs it, and checks it back in. The default routing order takes over and places it back in my inbox.

Accountability



Here's why I think DeskLog wouldn't just be another lame intranet app that everyone ignores. It's called accountability. The interesting thing about DeskLog (at least as I envision it) is that everyone, including your boss, can see your inbox and outbox.

For each file folder (representing a request in the box), everyone can see the date and time entered, the requestor, and the title.

Your boss, if the system were so configured, could even read your boxes' contents, not just the titles. Other folks below you or not in your management chain could only see the basic folder data like title.

Not keeping up with your work? It'll be painfully obvious to everyone. That's why I think DeskLog would be used heavily. It forces the users to monitor and keep up with their workload. The last thing you want is your boss checking out your inbox and seeing it overflowing with 300 items.

Workflow



Workflow products are known for being convoluted, hard to configure and generally ignored even if a corporation has sprung big bucks for an implementation. It's the complexity... they all seem to require a PHD in chaos theory just to pre-configure all of the business processes.

I'm here to say that I don't think any of that's necessary. How about simple, ad hoc routing of documents? I enter a request into someone's inbox and I simply... suggest the routing order to finish the process. Or if I've chosen a template (say, a purchase requisition), a pre-configured routing order comes along for the ride.

Quantitative



Another thing DeskLog has going for it is its quantitative nature. Do you just get more done than that goof-off down the hall? Now you can measure throughput of even the most arcane actor in a business process.

Best of all, you can find and eliminate bottlenecks.

And......... I'm spent



Okay, that's enough DeskLogging for now. Give me a little feedback, below, and tell me whether I'm on to something or... simply off my rocker.

* DeskLog could certain accept inbox items from an email account, but that's not germane to this tale

Monday, August 02, 2004

An Open Letter to My Sister



Legacy: Paying the Price for the Clinton YearsI've gotten some complaints (and also a few kudos) for concentrating so heavily on politics over the last few weeks. Technology issues -- which I will post about again in the near future (I promise) -- have become secondary because of the importance I place on the presidential election.

In fact, even my sister wrote the following to me:

Doug -

Please stop emailing me. Seriously. I don't open anything you send anymore.


Now my sister is a die-hard liberal, who is very eloquent, very intelligent, and believes strongly (as I do) in most of the social issues that we associate with the Democratic party.

But - here's a crude view graph that expresses my opinion on the relative importance of the major campaign issues.

Women's rights  *

Gay rights *
Education *
Environment *
The Elderly *
Civil Rights *
AIDS Research *
Energy Policy *
Healthcare **
Economy *****
War on terror *******************************************************


Now, why would I weigh the war on terror so highly?



Well, for one, the stated goal of Islamic extremists is to acquire nuclear weapons and to 'end' America. But can we take them seriously? Well, if 9/11 didn't convince you of the gravity of the situation...

There exist today many nuclear components and perhaps even portable delivery systems (like nuclear suitcase weapons). And the extremists have tried to purchase nuclear components before -- as early as '94. All it takes is one. Tto help you envision it, here's a scenario I wrote up one day. But I think you can judge for yourself what the ramifications might be of a single nuclear detonation in one of our major cities.

Let's put it this way: such an attack would devastate the economy and result in a major, worldwide recession or depression. There will be no funds with which we could help the elderly, fund healthcare initiatives, gain energy independence, and so on and so on.

Bottom line: a single, major attack would render all other issues completely irrelevant.

Okay, but why would Bush do a better job than Kerry?



I'm simply going on history here: I reviewed Kerry's 20+ year record on military and intelligence issues. It was, I must say, frightening. He has literally been on the wrong side of every major military and intelligence issue since he joined the Senate.

Need proof? Kerry fought Reagan's efforts -- tooth and nail -- to rebuild the military which ended up bankrupting the Soviets and ending the Cold War. Okay, that's only one mistake. But how about his backing of the Communist-aligned Sandanistas in Nicaragua? Let's put it this way, the Sandanistas aren't around any more. Or his strenuous opposition to the raid on Libya after American servicemen were murdered by Kaddafi's agents in the disco bombing? That's the raid that put an end to Kaddafi's gambit.

Interestingly, Kerry served on the Senate Select Committee for Intelligence, so presumably he'd have an excellent background for the war on terror. Unforunately, he missed 78% (38 out of 49) of the public committee meetings. And he won't release his private attendance records. Even worse, not long after the first WTC bombing, he proposed cuts of $7.5 billion in Intelligence funding (even Teddy Kennedy voted against him). He has a consistent record of attempting to cut Intelligence funding: he tried it four times during the 90's, while the extremist threat grew.

Kerry has also consistently opposed every major weapons system with which we defend ourselves today. He voted against the B-1, B-2, F-14, F-15, F-16, M1 Abrams, Patriot Missile, Aegis Cruiser, Apache Helicopter, Tomahawk Cruise Missile...

Bottom line: Kerry's twenty-plus year Military and Intelligence record in the Senate is truly frightening if you're at all concerned about prosecuting the war on terror.

Is Bush a panacea?



Heck, no. I disagree with the president on nearly every major social issue. But I do know one thing. He has -- and will continue, if elected -- to pursue terror on an extremely aggressive course. He doesn't worry about political expediency. And based upon my weighting system, that's all that really counts.

By the way, if you're still not convinced that invading Iraq was a step in the right direction, here are some interesting facts that you may not be aware of: Iraq funded suicide bombers, provided a Boeing 707 for training hijackers, harbored the notorious terrorists Abu Abbas and Abu Nidal, and its vice-president was responsible for official relationships with Hamas, the PLO and Islamic Jihad. That, by itself, was reason enough to smash Hussein's regime -- without even getting onto the topic of genocide. Saddam didn't need a laminated 'Al Qaeda' membership card - he was affiliated with plenty of other extremist terror groups.

Then we have the others. North Korea. Iran. Saudi Arabia. All will need to be dealt with in due time: militarily, diplomatically, or economically. I think we can agree that a steady hand is required. Kerry's record on military and intelligence issues is not exactly what I would term "steady".

I love my family - and my country



I'll boil it down as simply as I can. I love my sister, my brother-in-law and their beautiful baby boy. And I'm frightened for them -- and for my entire family. And for my country. Is this an irrational fear? Based upon what we know, I think not.

Nobody listened to Hitler when he wrote Mein Kampf. Are we listening to Bin Laden?

The American people had better listen. This is a nuclear threat. America must elect a candidate who has shown a willingness to aggressively prosecute war against extremist Islam, even when said prosection is unpopular.

Failure to do so could truly be catastrophic.