Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Bill Clinton explodes, 'right-wing' media to blame

If you missed Fox News Sunday's interview with Bill Clinton, then you avoided a political tsunami of extraordinary proportions. When Wallace asked a straightforward question, Clinton launched into a finger-pointing, eye-bulging tirade not seen since his fabricated denial of sexual relations with that woman.


WALLACE: When we announced that you were going to be on Fox News Sunday, I got a lot of e-mail from viewers, and I've got to say, I was surprised. Most of them wanted me to ask you this question. 'Why didn't you do more to put bin Laden and Al-Qaeda out of business when you were president?'

CLINTON: I'm being asked this on the Fox network.

Yes, Bill, it's just that simple: the vast right-wing conspiracy -- a diabolical cabal of neocons, anti-Communists, and other lizardoid minions -- has struck again... by asking a question.

NewsMax summarized the interview this way:

Asked why he had not done more to put al-Qaeda and bin Laden "out of business," the former President launched into a finger-jabbing riposte. "I got closer to killing him than anybody’s gotten since," he said.

Closer - without actually making a decision to try. Doesn't that sound eerily similar to almost having relations with that woman? He almost gave it the old college try, but he couldn't quite pull the trigger by actually making a decision.

On the CBS Early Show, former CIA Analyst Michael Scheuer -- no fan of the Bush administration -- commented:

HARRY SMITH: President Clinton basically laid the blame at the feet of the CIA and the FBI for not being able to certify or verify that bin Laden was responsible for a number of different attacks. Does that ring true with you, Michael Scheuer?

SCHEUER: No, sir, I don't think so. Former president seems to be able to deny facts with impunity. Bin Laden is alive today because Mr. Clinton, Mr. Sandy Berger and Mr. Richard Clarke refused to kill him. That's the bottom line. And every time he says what he said to Chris Wallace on Fox, he defames the CIA especially, and the men who risked their lives to give his administration repeated chances to kill bin Laden.

HARRY SMITH: Is the Bush administration any less responsible for not finishing the job in Tora Bora?

SCHEUER: There's plenty of blame to go around, sir, but the fact of the matter is the Bush administration had one chance that they botched, and the Clinton administration had eight to ten chances that they refused to try...

Not only that, Clinton created the ultimate public relations victory for Usama Bin Laden by withdrawing troops from Mogadishu, Somalia after under-equipping them for victory.

Jon Miller's subsequent interview with Bin Laden on ABC summarized it perfectly. The behavior of the Clinton administration in Mogadishu inspired, motivated and taught UBL how Al Qaeda needed to operate. The lesson UBL learned: Americans can't sustain casualties and therefore can't achieve any military victory if they are forced to pay in blood.

And the fact remains that the Democrats have laid out the same, Mogadishu plan of cut-and-run in Iraq. Iraq will become Somalia squared if Democrats are permitted to implement their game-plan of appeasement and surrender to terrorists.

Murtha, Pelosi, Dean, Kerry, Schumer -- basically the entire power-base of the Democratic Party -- wants to cut-and-run from Iraq, which will lead to problems an order of magnitude worse than Somalia.


Vote Republican.


Oven-fresh good readin', just like Mama used to make:
Anchoress: Bill Clinton never criticized Bush
Hot Air: Willie's day of rage
Joust the Facts: Fisking Bill
Patterico: Chris Wallace Has Indeed Grilled A Bush Official about UBL
RWN: Clinton vs. Fox - the Fallout
TigerHawk: Clinton and bin Laden and the perils of citing Richard Clarke
Wizbang: More on Clinton vs. Fox News

Monday, September 25, 2006

CBS: flogging books again (the Bush-bashing variety, of course)



On Sunday, the television news show 60 Minutes featured a segment on the president of Pakistan, Pervez Musharraf.


In the interview, Musharraf revealed a post-9/11 threat made by a Bush administration official. Richard Armitage, also noteworthy for his alleged involvement in the Plamegate fiasco, reportedly told Musharraf that if cooperation was not forthcoming, Pakistan should, "prepare to be bombed back to the Stone Age."

On the show, Musharraf noted, "...I took this as a threat..."


At this moment, Musharraf is also aggressively hawking his new book, entitled "In the Line of Fire."

The book is published by Free Press, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, which in turn is owned by Viacom. The publisher arranged for 60 Minutes' exclusive interview with Musharraf.


In 2004, 60 Minutes featured an interview with former security adviser Richard Clarke, who served the Clinton and Bush administrations.


Clarke's interview revolved around his new book, Against All Enemies , which laid much of the blame for 9/11 on the Bush administration.


Critics, however, pointed out that the book painted the Clinton administration and Clarke himself in an overly favorable light.

In fact, Clarke's book and interview ran counter to documents released in 2002, in which Clarke praised the Bush administration's counter-terrorism efforts.


Clarke's book was also published by Simon & Schuster, which -- along with CBS -- was owned by Viacom. The interview with Clarke failed to mention the corporate relationship between Simon & Schuster, Viacom, and CBS.

CBS and Viacom were once intertwined in the same corporate structure. Only recently have they separated into distinct business entities.

In both cases, however, their book publishing and television broadcasting arms have been unified to present an anti-administration message designed to simultaneously gain viewership, hawk books, and -- seemingly -- tilt elections.


Musharraf and Clarke appear to be the beneficiaries of integrated, sophisticated marketing campaigns in which anti-Republican themes are promoted just prior to an election.

And CBS' 60 Minutes has been deployed -- once again -- as a promotional vehicle for an agenda that is as transparent as freshly Windexed glass.


Update: Attentive reader EJW notes, "...Simon & Schuster is owned by CBS, not Viacom, the network's former parent. After the splitup Viacom ended up with the cable assets and production studios. CBS got the publishing companies. At least, that's according to Who Owns What at cjr.org." Thanks!


Oven hot good readin', just like Mama used to make:
Byron York (NRO): Bill Clinton's excuses
Counterterrorism Blog: Is Musharraf buying his survival?
STACLU: Learning from the past
Sweetness & Light: 'The US threatened us...'
Wizbang: Fighting terrorists makes 'em mad

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Bin Laden in hell


Once again, we've employed our patented Blogotronic™ surveillance technology to listen in at the Gates of Hell as Usama Bin Laden makes his entrance.


Wh... where am I?


Welcome to the gates of Gehenna, the portal to Hell. I am Iblis, the thrice-damned. I must say, Usama, you've made quite a name for yourself here in Hell.

We've had a monumental debate as to whether you merited placement in Malebolge... or Ptolomea. The flame wars on the Hades Blog were something to behold...


Malebolge and Ptol... wh- what's the difference?


Oh, amazing and terrifying differences!

In Malebolge, home to deceivers and falsifiers, the sufferers endlessly drown in the river Cocytus while their eyeballs fill with acid and then burst - a cycle to be repeated endlessly for all eternity.

In Ptolomea, home to traitors, the population is seared on rotisserie spits while wasps sting their private parts.


But... what about the virgins? The virgins feeding me grapes and honeyed desserts in an unceasing orgy of pleasure?


...yes, about those virgins...

- Oh - excuse me, I have to take this call...

Iblis here.


Iblis, baby, I have a couple of the boys on the line - we have some questions about procedure. Kim's fuel rods are almost ready and we're having a debate about who should get them first...


Mahmoud, we are closer to America... we can cause the most death and destruction without having to resort to those glorified bottle-rockets you call "missiles"...


Oh, okay, so you want to play rough? Yes, let's discuss the concept of "Venezuelan military victories" - it's only been what, 200 years since Simón Bolívar rode roughshod over Spain?


Stop it! Stop your bickering -- I don't have time for this -- I've got a quota of 125,000 eternally damned souls to process this morning and it's almost 10 AM!

Kim, what do you think we should do?


I don't give a cwap! Just tell me who to send them to!


Kim - flip a coin. Buh-bye. Gotta go.

*click*

Gilgemesh! These guys are like little children! Now, Usama, as I was saying... about those virgins...


There must be some sort of mistake... a clerical error... computer virus... can you double-check with someone?


Oh, double-checking isn't necessary. When you consider just how much evil -- death, destruction and suffering -- you've been responsible for... well, like I said, the only debate is whether you suffer in Malebolge or Ptolomea...

Oops, hold on, that's my BlackBerry!

Yes, sir. He's here. Haven't decided where... thinking about Malebolge... your office? Right now? Okay, we'll bring him down.


Who... who was that?


Oh, that was Satan himself... he's taken a personal interest in you. I'm not sure what he's got cooked up for you, but it's bound to be -er- interesting...


Could I get a little water? I'm awfully thirsty...


Oven-fresh good readin', just like Mama used to make:
Ace of Spades: Rightwingers Thwarted Clinton's ONE Effort To Get UBL, via Effusive Praise
Anchoress: Osama, leaks, timing and reality
GatewayPundit: Bin Laden Dead
HotAir: Osama’s dead possibly gravely ill!
JustOneMinute: Osama Died Of Typhoid Fever In August?
Mary Katherine Ham: AP France Unconfirmed Report: Osama bin Laden Dead?
Michelle Malkin: Bin Laden - dead again?
STACLU: Bin Laden Dead?
Wizbang: Bin Laden/War-on-Terror update

Saturday, September 23, 2006

The dreams of Chavez


Brought to you through our patented Blogoscope™ technology, we've injected a tiny recording device into the brain of Hugo Chavez (yes, exceedingly difficult given the minute scale of the host brain). The following is a transcript of one of Hugie's most recent dreams:


Hugo!


Chomsky? Noam Chomsky? Is that you?


Not exactly, Hugo. You know me as Lucifer. Others might call me Satan or Mephistopheles. Many refer to me as Beezlebub or the Prince of Darkness. Others have named me Abraxas or Belial or -


Okay! Get over yourself. I get the picture. Yes, we know you're a bad dude, Devil... but what do you want with li'l ol' Hugo Chavez?


About your speech at the U.N....


Well, I must say, I admit I was off-base on your smell. You don't smell like sulfur. You actually smell... quite enchanting. What is that fragrance you're wearing... Polo?


Actually, Hugo Boss. There's a sale at Saks. Now I've lost my train of thought, dammit!

Oh... anyhow... about that speech. I really do not appreciate being associated with President Bush. In fact, it's quite aggravating.


What? Why? I thought you would appreciate the parallels, the symmetry, the ying and yang between America's imperialism and your demonic forces -


Shaddup, Hugo! Just shut your face for a moment and listen! Who destroyed my minions - the Taliban - and brought millions of Afghanis into the light?


Uhm, Bush.


And who crushed my favorite purveyors of mass graves, torture chambers, and rape rooms... Saddam Hussein and his sons Uday and Qusay?


Er - that would be Bush, too.


Who broke up the Islamabad-Tehran-Pyongyang nuclear parts ring that held so much promise for world destruction?


Bush! Okay, I understand!


Who dropped a whole truckload of fizzies into the swim meet at Yale?


Bush! Bush! Bush! Yes, I get it!


Well, let's do the math: how many people are trying to immigrate to America and taste freedom?


Uhm... millions, I guess.


And how many are knocking down the doors to get into Caracas?


At last count, two Cuban whack-jobs, an alcoholic sherpa from Tibet, and a North Korean named Wang.


That's what I'm talking about! So don't ever compare me to someone who is spreading democracy, freedom and good -- ack, it pains me to even say those words!


Arrrghgghghghghhghghghgh!!! Okay, just stop the lightning!!! I promise!


That's better, Hugo... a promise is a promise...


(Breathing heavily) So... am I still eligible to get my demon wings in 2007?


Keep up the evil work and you're a lock. Okay, I've got to go now...


*Whew* I mean - where are you off to now?


Time to pay a visit to Kos. It's regarding his incessant, annoying comparisons of me to... Karl Rove!


Piping hot good readin', just like Mama used to make:
Anchoress: Chavez clearly listened to Dems and Air America
Decision '08: Chomsky and Chavez: A Mutual Admiration Society
MyVRWC: French say Osama's dead
Professor Bainbridge: Kos on Chavez
Soldier's perspective: Democrats Respond to Chavez, Liberal Backlash Ensues
Wizbang: Hugo who?