Thursday, October 12, 2006

Documentary: the Washington Post and the Foley 'scoop'


Ever wondered how the Washington Post got word that Rep. Foley was sending inappropriate messages to pages? Well, stop scratching your head and wonder no more. Our intrepid reporters have out-investigated the mighty WaPo sleuths. To do so, they attached our infamous Blogotronic™ surveillance devices to a couple of WaPo employees.

Cue the tape from late spring '06!


Dammit, E.J! Turn off the iPod! We're pulling into the garage right now...


*click* I still don't understand...


What?


Why is he called "Fifty Cent"? Why not an entire dollar?


Idiot! Will you pay attention? This is serious. We got a call this afternoon about a possible Republican scandal.


Is there any other kind?


We're supposted to meet in this garage, moron, be quiet.


Why do we have to be quiet? We're not doing anything wrong!


Shut it! Rove's operatives are everywhere!


There's a car pulling in...


Okay, that must be "Deep Post", our unknown tipster. He's supposed to flash his headlights three times so we know it's him...


...


One...


Shut up, E.J.!


Two...


***SLAP!!***


OWWW!! Why'd you do that?? That hurt!


Just put a sock in it, will you E.J.? Okay, that was three. Let's get out of the car.


I'm scared, Richard.


You've got a flashlight and I've got a rape whistle, we're completely safe!


Is that you, Cohen?


Yeah, it's me.


I thought I told you to come alone.


I did. It's only Dionne.


Good point. I've got the stuff. Very incriminating. A Congressman.


I hope it's not a Democrat. You know we can't pay for any material if it is.


Who do you think you're dealing with? I'm a pro. Of course it's a GOP guy.


Hey, what's this switch do?


TURN OFF THE FLASHLIGHT!!


Woodward! What the...? You're feeding your own paper tips?


So, it's a federal crime now to embellish stuff? What the heck was Al Qaqaa then?


I honestly don't give a crap. Is the info legit?


Yep, seems so. Got it from Harper's. They got it from a Dem party operative.


Why aren't they publishing it?


It's only May! The election's not for months! Cheezus, do the math, Cohen! You're getting as bad as Dionne! Hold that stuff until right before the election... then we have our kind of story!


Hat tip: Larwyn

Oven-fresh good readin', just like Mama used to make:
Hugh Hewitt: Campaign roundup
Rick Moran's RWNH: A most ghoulish debate
STACLU: Outrage! Uncle Sam Blocks Conservative Blogs...
Strata-Sphere: Washington Post Acknowledges Democrats' Role In Foleygate
Wizbang: A Final Push To Retain A Republican Congress

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Kim Jong-Il Threat Level Advisory


As a public service to you, our valued reader, we offer our Nork-focused threat level advisory. Our proprietary formula for determining the current threat level is, as you can tell, highly scientific, the product of decades of careful research and observation.




Oven-fresh good readin', just like Mama used to make:
Anchoress: Movies and videos, Religion and Politics
Hugh Hewitt: North Korea, San Fran Nan, and MSM
STACLU: N.Korea may have Conducted Another Nuclear Test
Wizbang: Why To Vote Republican -- In 100 Words Or Less

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Hot young despots chat room


There's no sense in even asking us. Because we can't tell you. We just can't disclose the nature of our unique (and some would say illegal) terrorist surveillance technology. Suffice it to say that many have tried to emulate our Blogotronic™ monitor, but none have yet succeeded.

Join us now as we listen in on an AOL chat room named Hot young despots. This chat room is password-protected and only the aristrocracy of evil -- the creme de la creme of terror -- are permitted to congregate...


congratulats on the nuke, illie


thank you for the compliment


i was just wondering - given the size of the explosion...


yes???


well, since it was so small, are you sure it was nuclear fission and not a bunch of fat guys passing gas?


you've got some nerve. a 0.5 kiloton expwosion is still bigger than your biggest, which, if i remember correctly is still, uhm, let me think... ZERO!!!


well, you've got me there. give me another couple of months, though, and we'll show you a real explosion...


don't hate the Dear Leader, mahmoud, hate the game


nice missile test in july, too. if that was your taepodong-2, what was the taepodong-1, a couple of mentos dropped in a pepsi?


yeah, what HE said!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


YOU DON'T TYPE UNLESS I TELL YOU TO TYPE, ASSAD!


sorry


anyhow, kim, good job in ticking off the americans


yeah. speaking of which. you know... poor old Saddam, i can't believe i'm saying this, but i miss that fat old thug.


you're right, he was always good for a laugh


Speaking of laughs, can you believe john kerry might run for president again?


no, you must be joking... are you really serious???


i'm serious, it was in the boston herald this morning...


i wonder if we'll pass the "global test" this time??? ;-)


ROTFLMAO!!!


hello anyone there?


WHO IS THIS? THIS IS PRIVATE CHAT ROOM!!


i'm sorry, let me fix my avatar.


THIS IS VERY PRIVATE! YOU MUST LEAVE IMMEDIATELY!!!


i'm sorry to intrude, but i saw the name of the chat room, hot young despots...


...would you guys mind if i asked what... you're wearing right now?


* * *


Meanwhile, back in Washington DC

Hehe. Talk about killing multiple birds with one stone. It was almost too easy hooking these deranged goofballs up...



Oven-fresh good readin', just like Mama used to make:
Captain's Quarters: China Rethinks Its Alliances
GatewayPundit: Soros-Funded Operatives Weren't Ready When Foleygate Broke
Hugh Hewitt: Claudia Rosett: Expel North Korea From the U.N.
Real Ugly American: North Korean nukes: the serious questions
Rick Moran's RWNH: As long as we're talking, we're not shooting at each other
STACLU: Ted Turner Has Problem With Bush’s Attitude
Wizbang: U.S Doesn't Believe Korean Blast Was Nuclear