Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Carter's Heroes


The Israeli Defense Forces report on this summer's war has just been declassified. It makes for fascinating reading. Here's a quick, illustrated summary.


From a civilian's porch, Hussein Ali Mahmoud Suleiman launched rockets into Israel.


Under a white flag, Mohammed Abd al-Hamid Srour convoyed missiles across Southern Lebanon.


Wearing civilian clothes, Maher Hassan Kourani carried his AK-47 in a duffel bag and stowed anti-aircraft missiles in a green, unmarked Volvo.


All were members of Hezbollah who put innocent civilians in the line of fire by working in their towns, sometimes in their very homes, to wage war against Israel.


Suleiman later stated, "the residents of the village... [their homes] belong to Hezbollah."


These terrorists -- both Hamas and Hezbollah -- attempt to murder Israeli civilians while hiding behind their own civilians.


And, if by chance, a precision-bombing run goes awry and some civilians are inadvertently killed, the terrorists simply dial up the useful idiots at CNN and the Associated Press for their next, free anti-Israeli infomercial.


And in Jimmy Carter's twisted, demented worldview, the war-crimes of Hamas and Hezbollah are somehow the Israelis' fault. Which begs the question:


Is there some way -- any way -- to revoke Carter's ex-president status? This walking embarrassment doesn't have the qualifications to be called a disgrace.


Update: Larwyn points us to a closely related Journal op-ed entitled, "Bush's War" (subtitle: "The president, the Iraq Study Group and winning on the modern battlefield"). It's a must-read.

Major props to AJCongress.org and Opinion Journal.

Oven-baked good readin', just like Mama used to make:
Rick Moran: Taking the empty suit out to the cleaners
STACLU: Crashing Lynne Stewart's gloat party
Wizbang: Wizbang is a warblogger winner

Monday, December 11, 2006

Now on 60 Minutes: the Bloody World of Mixed Martial Arts



*tick* *tick* *tick* Tonight on 60 Minutes: the bloody world of Mixed Martial Arts...


Imagine a sport so violent, it was nearly banned a decade ago...


...that sport is real. It is Mixed Martial Arts, or MMA. It is a vicious, bloody combination of boxing, wrestling, kick-boxing...


...and no-holds-barred, gladiator-style combat. Such a vicious brand of so-called "entertainment" raises only one question:


How could such a violent spectator sport even be legal?


That, and Andy Rooney, after the break.


On the next CSI Miami. When bodies of beautiful women start turning up all over Miami...


...the CSI team discovers some ghastly secrets:


Hidden inside each woman's body is a shocking clue to the killer's identity...


And when a final body, one rotting inside a barrel for decades is unearthed...


...even Horatio Caine will be fighting for his life!


It's all on the next CSI Miami!

* * *

To call CBS a laughingstock is to overstate its credibility. If you ever walk by Brooklyn's Green-Wood cemetery and hear a whistling noise, odd are it's Edward R. Murrow spinning in his grave.


Oven-baked good readin', just like Mama used to make:
Captain's Quarters: Cat's out of the bag in North Korea
OTB: Rahm Emanual lied about the Foley scandal?
Planck's Constant: James Kim and the irony of his death
Rick Moran: Aoun threatens violent coup in Lebanon
Wizbang: Kofi goes out bashing Bush, U.S.

An Inconvenient Poot


The Independent highlights a UN report stating, "Cow 'emissions' more damaging to planet than CO2 from cars."


It's critical that you remember the following statement: no one tell Al Gore. Otherwise, the entire hamburger business -- as we know it -- may be doomed.


Hat tip for this post's title: the smokin' hot wife

Oven-baked good readin', just like Mama used to make:
STACLU: Global warming: it's cows, not cars

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Scoop! Time's 2006 Man-of-the-Year, days ahead of time


It took a single, surreptitous email from an anonymous source to preempt one of the media's most anticipated events. Yes, Time Magazine's Person-of-the-Year is none other than Iraqi Police Captain Jamil Hussein. The mysterious Hussein has been a veritable Jamil-on-the-spot, providing crucial information to the Associated Press for many of its "one-of-a-kind" stories. Hussein is a human dynamo, a man's man, appearing wherever he's needed -- almost magically -- to provide sourcing for the AP's toughest and most controversial stories.

Hussein's latest honor is well-deserved. He's helped shape America's opinion of the War on Terror.


KEEP CONFIDENTIAL 2006 Time Magazine Person-of-the-Year: Jamil Hussein


Hat tips: BizzyBlog and Larwyn.

Oven-fresh good readin', just like Mama used to make:
Austin Bay: The AP Responds on Jamil Hussein
Confederate Yankee: Just the facts, Ma'am
Hip Hop Republican: Dr. Martin Luther King's letter
Michelle Malkin: AP: Still not off the Hook
OTB: Alec Baldwin: Oddly simple
Pajamas Media: 'Stop Questioning the Existence of Jamil Hussein!'
Patterico: Jamil Hussein Controversy in US News & World Report
STACLU: Weekend Free-for-All
USS Neverdock: Who is Jamil Hussein?
Wizbang: Hugo taxes toilet paper

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Yes, Dammit, I'm pandering to the voters!


And, yes, dammit, we've made this post sticky. Like stink on a rabid skunk. I can live with the fact that this is an eighth-tier blog (you don't have to rub it in). But even so, I feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins as we give it the old college try. Thus, if you can find it in your heart to cast a vote for pore, li'l, ole me, click here. Once every 24 hours, for seven days straight, is all we ask.

The Associated Press Pro Journalist Cheat Sheat


Through a confidential informant, I've gotten access to an Associated Press cheat sheet. It provides their highly trained, professional journalists with crucial guidance on describing people and events. I reprint it here in its entirety. Don't thank me... it's for the all the budding journalists in the audience.

Associated Press Journalist Cheat Sheet
HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL: DO NOT DISCLOSE TO LGF!
Your handy guide to being a pro journalist for the AP: it's cookie-cutter simple!


"radical cleric"


"populist venezuelan leader"


"insurgents"


"palestinian student"


"ailing Cuban leader"


"photo opp"


"wise, beltway veteran"


"distinguished, former president"


"Middle East foreign policy expert"


"unjustly detained AP photographer"


"reliable source"



Oven-fresh good readin', just like Mama used to make:
Anchoress: Feast of the Immaculate Conception 2006
Blue Crab Boulevard: ABC: Fair and Balanced
Captain's Quarters: Wannabe Jihadi
Flopping Aces: My answer to the AP: again
Gina Cobb: Don't Tread on Me: Does it Still Mean Anything?
Hang Right Politics: ISG Report: Pure Fantasy
Hugh Hewitt: "Iran is a true menace"
Nuke Gingrich: Blair ditches multi-cultural experiment
OTB: Beltway Traffic Jam
Rick Moran: Democrats hanging tough in Lebanon
STACLU: Weekend free-for-all
Wizbang: Weekend caption contest

Brother, can you spare a vote?

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Deep inside the Iraq Survey Group


It simply goes without saying. We can't disclose sources or methods. But courtesy of our patented Blogotronic Recorder™, we've happened upon a video of the Iraq Survey Group's final meeting. This transcript captures the last few minutes before the report's release. Sit back, light a cigar, and enjoy the wisdom of the august ISG in action.

Lee, how many blue-ribbon commissions have you chaired now?
Well, if you count America's Top Senior Model, that'd be nine.
Impressive. The 9/11 Commission, the ISG, and Top Senior Model. That's like winning the Triple Crown of geriatrics. Dammit, just forgot what I was gonna say. Oh... got it: are you almost done proofreading the report?
Do you spell retreat with an "ee" or an "ea"?
Dammit, you senile old coot, it's an "ea"! Er... what time is supper?
You've got to admit: this report is sheer genius. Negotiating with Iran and Syria is the key. And no one thought of it before us!
I know! We've still got it. Ya' see that waitress at lunch? She was checkin' us out.
She could smell the testosterone in the room. It's pungent in here.
*** Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrripp *** Whoa. Excuse me! That damn bean soup shore didn't agree with my belly.
Dammit! Not again, Baker! Where's the air freshener?
You havin' any second thoughts about this recommendation?
Whatcha mean?
Well, doesn't it seem like we're going to be back in the Middle East a quarter-century from now, fighting a much larger-scale, much bloodier conflict?
James. Do I look like I'm going to care 25 years from now?
Point taken. Hey, are we done yet? I think it's nappy time.


Oven-baked good readin', just like Mama used to make:
Anchoress: 2006 Weblog Awards
Captain's Quarters: Cleanse the Code
Confederate Yankee: Steyn Rips AP Over Bias
Flopping Aces: The Socialist Love-Fest
Gateway Pundit: Howard Dean meets with European Socialists
Hang Right: Carter called out by long-time aide for lies in latest book
Hugh Hewitt: Roggio in Fallujah
Nuke Gingrich: Iraq Study Group
OTB: Bank robbery = Political statement?
STACLU: An Arab Failure - not Bush's Failure
Rick Moran: Is Iraq already lost?
Wizbang: The Merry Christmas Debate