Saturday, December 16, 2006

Exclusive: Jamil Hussein spotted in Qana!


The elusive Jamil Hussein has been spotted in Qana. This photograph -- reportedly taken by Adnan Hajj for both the Associated Press and Reuters -- is irrefutable proof of two key facts. Not only does Hussein exist, but he's also actively involved in the rebuilding of Qana.


Photo Credit: Adnan Hajj. Please note that Mr. Hussein's face is obscured to protect his identity.

How Hussein made his way from Iraq to Lebanon is quite a tale. Look for a Pulitzer-winning article on his incredible journey in the months to come!


Oven-fresh good readin', just like Mama used to make:
A blog for all: The hunt for the elusive Jamil Hussein
Confederate Yankee: Neck deep
Don Surber: 'Jamil Hussein' translated: 'Tuttle'
Ed Driscoll: Fitzgerald never met Eason Jordan
Flopping Aces: Eason Jordan & His Shill and The Search for Jamil Hussein
Gateway Pundit: In seach of Jamil Hussein
Jawa Report: Staged Qana Event Among Reuters Photo of the Year
Jules Crittenden: Mission: Find Jamil Hussein
LGF: Just read it every day
Michelle Malkin: What's so funny about going to Iraq?
Pajamas Media: Digesting the Jamil Hussein story
Patterico: Eason Jordan to pay Michelle Malkin's way to Baghdad...
Snapped Shot: Qana: Fraud of the Year
Samantha Burns: Open Trackbacks Weekend
STACLU: Weekend free-for-all

Silvestre Reyes: Deadly Serious about National Security


I'd like to take a moment to introduce you to Nancy Pelosi's choice for House Intelligence Chairman. Silvestre Reyes (D-TX) took a break from his busy schedule to answer a few questions from Congressional Quarterly. Shhhhhhhhh. Let's listen in.


Al Qaeda is what... Sunni or Shia?


Al Qaeda, they have both.


Uhm, that's incorrect.


You’re talking about predominately? Predominantly... probably Shiite.


That's also incorrect. They are Sunni. How about this one: Hezbollah. What are they?


Why do you ask me these questions at five o’clock? Can I answer in Spanish? Do you speak Spanish?”


Poquito...


Poquito?! Well, I, uh....

* * *

Glad to see the Democrats are more credible than ever on national security. Even more startling -- in this exclusive, blog-tastic scoop* -- the following questions and answers concluded the interview.


I'll make these questions a bit easier. How Mahmoud Ahmedinejad? What country is he the leader of?


I've heard of him. Belgium? How about Caracas?


Caracas isn't a country, sir. Let's see, how about this one: what is the name of the Prime Minister of Israel?


Ben Stein, isn't it?


Eeesh. Our Vice-President? The United States Vice-President. Do you know who that is?


Donald Rumsfeld!


Mmm. Okay. Do you need any help getting back to your office? It's all the way across the street, you know.


Absolutely not! I'm perfectly capable of finding my way. I left one hell of a trail of breadcrumbs!

* * *

You know, sometimes I have dreams. I dream that the Democrats were as serious about national defense as they are about leaking national security secrets, dissing the troops, and expressing raw, virulent hatred for the President.


Also see:
Congressional Quarterly: Democrats’ New Intelligence Chairman Needs a Crash Course on al Qaeda
Hang Right Politics: What to expect from the Democrats on the issue of National Security

Anchoress: An amusing go-round
GatewayPundit: Iraqi Red Crescent claims US Soldiers are the threat
Hugh Hewitt: The war within the war
OTB: Matt Drudge gets criticized
Rick Moran: Refugee problem in Iraq: bad to worse
STACLU: Pelosi Targets Grassroots Freedom of Speech and Weekend free-for-all
Wizbang: Time for a Johnson Amendment?

*First section of the interview is based upon CQ; the second section is pure, uncut, snarky satire.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Barack Obama vs. Maureen Dowd


Since I don't subscribe to the New York Times De-Select service, I missed one of Maureen Dowd's recent pithy insults. Word has it she poked fun at the size of Barack Saddam Obama's ears. He later pigeon-holed her at a press event (seriously) and "put her on notice". He's apparently somewhat sensitive about the size of his ears. I later noticed something interesting about Obama's public appearances. Check it out:


Here's Obama in early November, prior to Dowd's comments.


Here's Obama in late November.


And here he is last week in New Hampshire.

Is it just me, or does he look like he's had some work done? And aren't these Democrats taking the concept of "triangulation" just a little bit too seriously?


Oven-fresh good readin', just like Mama used to make:
BizzyBlog: Obama's all ears for Dowd
HangRight: Hey, don't tease me about my big ears!
HotAir: Obama scolds Dowd
Radio Equalizer: Senator Barack Hussein Obama, Maureen Dowd, and Rush Limbaugh

Captain's Quarters: As if they need an excuse
Hugh Hewitt: Romney on the ISG
OTB: Beltway Traffic Jam
Rick Moran: Jonah Goldberg needs a pie in the face
STACLU: City Council drops rental ban for illegal aliens (thanks to ACLU)
Wizbang: Weekend caption contest

The Traffic-o-meter


Here's a snapshot of my blog traffic over the last 12 months. And, yes, I know this sort of traffic consigns me to "eight-tier blog" status. Anyhow:


What's most interesting -- to me, at least -- is the root cause behind each spike in traffic.

The January, 2006 spike was the result of a tech article that hit the front-page of Digg. The article, entitled "Which language is best for teaching Computer Science?" was a snarky reminder that computer scientists should refrain from pseudo-journalism.

The March spike was another techie post that made Digg's front-page. "Imagine a company that uses only open-source software" was a snarky take on what a software vendor's pitch sounds like to an organization that had become acclimated to the world of free- and open-source software.

Are you bored yet? I'm not, so let's keep going.

The October spike was a snarky peek into the mind of PMSBC's premier journalist. "Keith Olbermann's gonna have a revolution" was linked by Hugh Hewitt's top-notch blog and, by extension, Townhall.com.


I call the resulting effect a "Hugh-a-lanche".

Finally, the recent December spike was the result of Charles Johnson, owner of the best blog on the planet, linking to a post. "The Associated Press Pro Journalist Cheat Sheet" was a snarky take on the AP's "reliable sources."

Are you detecting a theme?

Anyhow, just wanted to say thanks for being a reader and Merry Christmakwanzaakkah to you and yours.

Hey, we got reviewed!


Blogger Adamelijah has reviewed all of the blogs up for various awards: even yours truly. Not too many reviewers out there have the patience to monitor even the eighth-tier blogs!

His review of this blog is also very kind - and much appreciated. While all of us bloggers are richly compensated for our efforts, the adulation is also important to our fragile egos. And, in the waning hours of voting, if you can find a spare 15 seconds, click here. I'm just going for respectability at this point...!

Pray for Coal


I rarely post off-topic articles. I think the last one was an instructional guide entitled, "Backpacking for Orphans." But Radar Magazine's "The 10 most dangerous play things of all time" is one of the funniest articles I've read in the past couple of decades. Maybe since the original Hendra-Miller-Beard-Kenney National Lampoons.


Perhaps it was because my daughters actually had a bunch of Skydancers (also known as "mini-helicopters of death"). In any event, go read the article. Now.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Words escape me: Dems meet with Terror-Supporting Dictator


Democrat Bill Nelson and Syrian Dictator Bashar Asshat (my spelling could be off) had a fruitful meeting yesterday (hat tips: Snapped Shot via LGF). And Nelson isn't the only Democratic leader to benefit from the wisdom of the Terror-supporting mini-Fuhrer Syrian leader: the Dem posse is on the way! Senators Chris Dodd (D-umb) and John Kerry (D-umber) are planning their own "peace talks" with Middle Eastern leaders. What could possibly go wrong with that?


Oh, goody! It won't be long now until the birds are chirping and the squirrels are singing, playfully frolicking in the lush meadow formerly known as the Middle East. Hamas, Hezbollah, and Fatah will lay down their weapons, join hands with the Israelis, and burst into song. And all of the former enemies will enjoy a joyous, peaceful celebration of the non-denominational, multi-cultural holiday known as Festivus (or Christmakwanzaakkah or whatever the Dems prefer to call it these days). And President Rodham will win the Nobel Peace Prize; the Democrats will control the Senate, 100-0; and Michael Moore will pull a Jared-of-Subway-fame, lose 300 pounds, and star in action-movies with Brad Pitt.

Or, on the other hand, the appeasement of violence-loving, terrorist dictators could result in a global war culminating in a nuclear exchange.

Fortunately, our patented Blogotronic™ recorder was able to capture the visit and it delivered this high-quality, exclusive transcript of the proceedings:


Your chin is much larger than it looks on TV. It's really quite... masculine.


Why, thank you. And you don't even look Jewish, yourself.


-Er- I'm not Jewish. But thanks... I guess.


But you're an infidel, correct?


Look, I didn't come here to talk religion. We're a multi-cultural society...


As are we. We welcome both Sunni and Shia in Syria.


-Er- That's not really what I meant... Anyhow, the reason I'm here is to ask one question: what would it take for Syria to cooperate so we can get out of Iraq? I mean you name it, anything's fair game.


Ballistic missile technology?


Why not? There's precedent with Bill Clinton's deal with Red China. I think that could fly... no pun intended!


How about forcing Israel to give up the Golan Heights?


Look, we've thrown out the neocons back at home. I don't see why not.


Well, if you could work that on your end, I'll see about shutting down the pipeline of IEDs to Iraq. Whoops! Did I say that out loud?


Not to worry. It's off the record as far as I'm concerned. One last thing: I wanted to present a gift on the behalf of the people of the great state of Florida...


It's an NCAA Championship Basketball autographed by the Florida Gators!


Uhm. Oh. Thanks. Kind of a Seminole fan, myself. But thanks anyhow. Oh! I almost forgot!


And here's a gift for you: a velvet blindfold and a Marlboro.


Errr... uh... yeah... what? I'm not sure I... understand the significance of that gift...


Your Department of State is responsible for representing your country to all foreign governments. As such, I've been informed you may be guilty of treason.


Erp. Yes. Well, I think I've got to be going... other meetings and such... but thanks for the hospitality and the gifts!


Goodbye! And we look forward to the visits of your Senators Dodd and Kerry!!


Also blogging this topic: Atlas Shrugs: Bolton moves on the Mullahs, HotAir: Dictator exploits Democratic useful idiot for photo op, Macsmind: Democratic Traitor Tunes, Florida Cracker, Michelle Malkin, Blue Crab Boulevard » Disgraceful Behavior, Texas Rainmaker » Yes, I’m Questioning Your Patriotism, Right Voices, NoisyRoom.net, Stop The ACLU, and Wuzzadem.


Also see:
Gateway Pundit: After Monday's Uprising, Iranian Students Issue "Storm Warning"

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

2006 Weblog Awards: What a Freaking Disaster!


Talk about embarrassing. Take a look at the current standings in the voting:


Only two votes? One vote's mine. I'm guessing the other was Mom's, but her laptop has been on the fritz lately. Maybe it was Dennis Kucinich; he's always been a fan.

Actually, I'm just funnin' you. In truth, we're a respectable third-place in the voting. If you have a spare 15 seconds, click here and then bask in the knowledge that you've advanced the cause of anti-idiotarianism in some small, nearly meaningless way. And - thanks!

What is the frequency, Keith?




Some have accused me of being a latter-day Howard Beale.


Others, jealous of my ratings, call me a raving moonbat with delusions of anchorhood.


But my rants and tirades are designed not to gain attention for ratings' sake. Indeed not.


My soliloquies are designed to amuse and enlighten while calling attention to the very real threat represented by Emporer Bush.


He and his minions of evil -- Rove and Cheney among them -- have hatched diabolical plans to pollute the Earth, destroy our entitlements, foment a world war, and irreparably damage MSNBC's ratings.


We found out last week, for instance, that Chimpy is blaming bovines for global warming.


And, for months, W has stonewalled Patrick Fitzgerald's indictment of Karl Rove over the Valerie Plame revelations.


All the while, Junior pillories the New York Times for doing their civic duty in revealing classifed programs that wingnuts claim are protecting us.


Said claims have absolutely no validity, since we haven't been attacked even once since 9/11.


Viewers will recall that we also weren't attacked even once under President Jimmy Carter's watch. Coincidence? I think not.


I am sounding the alarm claxons over evil, tyranny, injustice and halitosis, all the products of Bush and his moneymen: the Oil and Milk Lobbies.


So, in short, I'm not doing this for the ratings.


Far from it.


It's just that I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it any more!!


Hat tip: Noel Sheppard at Newsbusters

Oven-baked good readin', just like Mama used to make:
Captain's Quarters: Rosett rewrites Annan
Conservative Outpost: Carter a plagiarist?
File it Under: Warning to Google Image searchers
Gateway Pundit: Iran threatens Israel with extinction... at a Holocaust-denial summit, of all places
Hugh Hewitt: Ahmadinejad Threatens Israel, Again. Does Israel Have A Right To Self Defense?
Nuke Gingrich: Let's connect the dots
OTB: Symposium of denial
Rick Moran: The poison we call 'soy'
STACLU: Rosie Racist
Wizbang: Iran says Israel's days are numbered