Friday, April 13, 2007

Scene from Shock Jock Training School



Sir, once we get our own talk shows, who are we permitted to make fun of?


Give me an example! Who do you want to parody?


I'd like to do a satire of the Irish...


Nope.


Italians?


Heck, no!


Blacks?


You're out of your freakin' mind!


Hispanics?


Are you smokin' crack?


Jews?


Uhm, that ain't kosher.


Polish?


No-lish.


Puerto Ricans?


No-rto Rican!


How about middle-aged white guys?


Of course! We'd never cramp your style... it's all about artistic freedom!

Line o' the Day


Heard on Fox News:

I'd never seen Don Imus before. When I saw him this week, I thought Col. Custer had survived Little Big Horn.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

O'Reilly and Rivera Square Off Over the Imus Firing



You're off your rocker, Geraldo! The comments by Don Imus were completely out of line!


No, you're completely out of line! How many times did Imus have to insult every race, religion, creed and color until he was fired? Calling Gwen Ifill a cleaning lady? How can that be acceptable??


That's completely insane, Rivera! Imus should have been fired years ago!


What the hell are you babbling about? Imus should have terminated decades ago!


That's an outrageous remark! Imus was a rash on the spleen of radio...


Well, I would rather tongue-kiss Bea Arthur than listen to Don Imus!


Well, I would sooner drink a peanut-butter-and-salmon smoothie than tune him in!


You're nothing but a thinly disguised Imus lover!


But I despise Imus' behavior!


Not nearly as much as I do!


What? That's ludicrious, egregious, outrageous, ridiculous!


Hey! I'm agreeing with you! I've been agreeing with you the whole time!


Then why are we screaming at each other?


I don't freaking know!


Do the math, you illegal-alien-loving dirtbag!


I have no idea, you right-wing bastard!


Two words: John. Henry. Nielsen.


Idiot! That's three words!


You know exactly what I mean: Nielsen ratings!


Oh. Yeah. Wow, sorry about that. We got a little heated there.


No problem!


Viewers, remember to tune in tomorrow night when Geraldo and I scream at each other while agreeing that Rosie O'Donnell should be fired.


Dude, we are really running out of topics for these shouting matches.


Oven-baked good readin', just like Mama used to make:
Anchoress, Don Surber, Ed Driscoll
Gateway Pundit, Michelle Malkin, Rick Moran, Roger L. Simon, Sister Toldjah, Wizbang

Line o' the Day


Gateway Pundit hits one out of the park:

Al Qaeda again took responsibility for bombings in Iraq- one that hit parliament, the other that took down a bridge.

And, yet Democrats want to withdraw troops from Iraq...

So that they can go fight Al Qaeda(?)

Something stopped making sense a while ago.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

And now, a word from Muqtada al-Sadr



Howdy. I'm Muqtada al-Sadr.


I'm raising funds for world terror.


Recruiting for suicide attacks is down over 50% since the 'surge'!


Explosively formed penetrators and improvised explosive devices ain't cheap.


And a couple of our explosives factories were just shut down.


The inventory of our management bible -- The One-Minute Exploding Manager -- is running dangerously low.


Bottom line: we need your support. Our terror efforts hang in the balance.


Not to mention my dental work.


Plaque, gingivitis... they're real threats!


As you can see.


Suicide bombings and clean teeth. They're a powerful combination.


Won't you please help? The lives that are lost may be your own.