Monday, August 06, 2007

Beltway Comix: the FCC watchin' out for the little guy

 
Yo, T!

What's up, V?

Long time no see. Say, you look a little... bulkier.

Yeah, I've been working out. I'm gettin' kinda buff. Dontcha think?

Well --er-- yeah, sure, T...

And I've been taking supplements. I ingested all of BellSouth... delicious and nutritious.

Erp. You ate BellSouth?

Every last bit! And, I must say, it's working out great for our customers. Just as we predicted, we've improved customer service, enhanced innovation, and spurred more competition!

Awesome, dude. Really, really happy for you. Hey! Check out small-fry.

Hey, guys, what's up?

Not you, peanut. You look like you've lost weight. Market-share a problem for you?

Yeah. I guess so. Your iPhone introduction didn't help.

Well, them's the breaks of the game, pee-wee. Hey, V, you got any butter on you?

Wh- wh- what do you need... butter... for??

I'm famished. I'm so hungry I could eat a whole company. And, I must admit, you look delectable.

But... but you can't just... grab me and eat me!

Yo, T, watch it -- there's a cop!

Hey, boys... you all behavin' yourselves?

Hey, Kevin, how's it hangin'?

Hey, T! Everything's good, thanks. This little dweeb bothering you?

Sprunt over here? Nahh... it's all good. I just left my butter at home. I was thinking about making a meal out of him...

Great idea! I've got --

But, officer, he can't do that! That's against the law!

Shut up, small fry! Don't you read the papers? Ma Bell's makin' a comeback!

What the heck is going on here? This is crazy! There's gotta be a law --

I am the law, midget. Say, do you want butter or SmartBalance, T?

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Photoshop o' the Day: Al Gore heats up

 
"Is it hot in here, or is it just global warming?"

Two Bumper-Sticker Slogans Arrested in South Carolina

 
Two of John Edwards' bumper-sticker slogans (is it politically incorrect to call them accused terrorists?) were arrested after a traffic stop near Goose Creek, SC (hat tip: MND).

Police stopped a four-door sedan during a traffic stop and found what they believe was a bomb inside the vehicle. Deputies say the car was pulled over for speeding... Witnesses on the scene told Live 5 News that they believed the car had an out-of-state license plate, but they could not be sure which state the tags were issued from. At this time, no one has confirmed where the car was registered.

Sources also say that there were two people in the car and that they were apparently of Middle Eastern decent... The FBI is working with local authorities in the investigation.

Forbes offers possible insight into the location of the vehicle:

Goose Creek [is] home to the Naval Weapons Station. The station houses the U.S. Naval Consolidated Brig, a military prison where enemy combatants have been held...

No word on whether CAIR is rushing a legal team to South Carolina in order to mount a defense. MND adds: "My God, do you realize what this means? South Carolina police are profiling!" Or maybe there was a suspicious bumper sticker on the vehicle.

On a more serious note, a commenter at Flopping Aces asserts:

176 leads right into the Naval Weapons Station. It isn't military families at risk. NWS is the home of 2 sub squadrons and also the storage depot for our nukes and up to 60 million lbs. of conventional ordnance.

A nuclear storage depot? This recalls a statement by Hassan Abbasi, one of Iran's top military strategists, in 2005.

We have a strategy drawn up for the destruction of Anglo-Saxon civilization... we must make use of everything we have at hand to strike at this front by means of our suicide operations or by means of our missiles.

There are 29 sensitive sites in the U.S. and in the West. We have already spied on these sites and we know how we are going to attack them.

One can't help but wonder whether there is a link between this bizarre incident and Abbasi's diatribe.

Perhaps John Edwards is right, because there's definitely more than enough bumper-sticker material here. Hey, I've got an idea, let's help the Democrats make it even harder for the U.S. to wiretap terrorists! Maybe that will help!

Update: Dan Riehl provides names and pictures.


They sound like militant Quakers to me.

WIS News 10 spoke with officials at the Berkeley County Detention Center who said 24-year-old Ahmed Mohamed and 21-year-old Yousef Megahed, the occupants of the car, are still in police custody... The Berkeley County Sheriff's Department tells WIS News 10 the two men are not US citizens.

Update II: Dan Riehl, doing yeoman's work on this story, points to an ABC News 4 report that "...[t]he men had at least one ready to go bomb and bomb making materials that include chemicals."

Let's see. A possible chemical terrorist attack organized by what may be a cadre of illegal aliens... I know what to do... let's leave the border wide open and prevent the government from listening in on terrorists!

Wireless competition: consumers hit the jackpot!

 
On March 5, 2006, AT&T's public relations arm issued a major press release. Entitled "AT&T, BellSouth to Merge: Combination Will Speed Innovation, Competition and Convergence", it quotes AT&T President Ed Whitacre as saying, "Our focus is on providing great service and innovative, competitively priced products for consumers and businesses...".

Well, it's 2007 and AT&T and BellSouth received regulatory approval to merge earlier in the year. Let's see how those innovative and competitively priced products stack up against the competition. According to MyRatePlan.com, the pricing for a basic family wireless package (in minutes) from each of the telcos looks something like this.

Who knew that AT&T's legal staff had such a great sense of humor?

With a reconstituted "Ma Bell," consumers really have hit the jackpot. Thanks, FCC! Oh, and thank goodness the FCC decided not to open up the newly liberated 700MHz spectrum to wholesale competition. As you can tell from the chart, consumers already have entirely too many choices for affordable, high-quality wireless service!

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Howard "Mujaha" Dean: Protect the (Fraudulent) Vote!

 
KavkazCenter -- home of the "caucasian mujahideen" -- warns us that the Bush administration "has both the inclination and the power to cancel the 2008 election... ...we must also assume that if it appears to Team Bush/Cheney/Rove that the GOP will lose the 2008 election anyway (as it lost in Ohio 2006) we cannot ignore the possibility that they would simply cancel the election..."

Actually, the extremists at Kavkaz "borrowed" the article from progressive portal Common Dreams. Whether this reinforces the concept of a Democratic/suicidal whackjob convergence is left as an exercise for the reader.

To reinforce the Mujahadeen/progressive message, Howard "Mujaha" Dean was kind enough to drop me a line yesterday.

Last year, we put DNC staff on the ground all across the country to rebuild our party and stand up to the lies and failures of the Republican Party. The 50-State Strategy worked. Those organizers were key to our unprecedented victories up and down the ballot in 2006.

Our organizers are still on the ground in all 50 states, preparing for 2008 in every way possible. And starting this month, they are kicking off an unprecedented voter protection effort, of a scale never attempted by any organization... While Democrats protect everyone's right to vote, Karl Rove and the Republican Party have a long history of threatening this right, working to make it harder for Americans to vote (presumably by requiring valid identification, see Democratic brochure at right).

...Protecting the right of every eligible American to vote is our party's top priority because we know that it's good for America and good for our democracy when everyone votes (including the dead, illegal aliens, convicted felons, and just plain fictional folks)... We all know what happened in Florida in 2000. We all know what happened in Ohio in 2004... Help make sure it doesn't happen again in 2008.

Sincerely,

Gov. Howard Dean, M.D.

When the GOP wins elections, Democrats like Dean claim foul play. As for real fraud? Invariably, Democratic front groups like ACORN and ANSWER are involved. In 2006, ACORN registered more than a half million voters nationwide.

But because it was the Democratic Party and organized labor who paid "by-the-head" for the voters, it's fair to wonder how many of these 540,000 voters were real.

A recent example in the state of Washington involving ACORN was called "the Worst Voter-Registration Fraud in History":

...Prosecutors in King and Pierce counties filed felony charges Thursday against seven employees of [Ed: ACORN's party affiliation -- Democratic -- is not mentioned anywhere in the entire article. Go figure.] ACORN, the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now, claiming they turned in more than 1,800 phony voter-registration forms...

"This is the worst case of voter-registration fraud in the history of the state of Washington. There has been nothing comparable to this," state Secretary of State Sam Reed said...

...Elsewhere, four ACORN canvassers in Kansas City, Mo., have pleaded guilty in federal court to felony voter-registration fraud.

Yes, Governor Doctor Dean, let's suppress laws that require valid identification to ensure that felons, the deceased, illegal aliens, and non-existent "people" won't be disenfranchised. That sounds like the American way to me.

AP: Jamil Hussein is Back... with a Vengeance!

 
The AP's Steven Hurst resurrects a name from the past for a story on Baghdad's water supply. Yep, you guessed it:

Jamil Hussein is back... and this time, he's ticked off!

Jamil Hussein, a 52-year-old retired army officer who lives in northeast Baghdad, said the water that does flow smells and is unclean. Two of his children have severe diarrhea that the doctor attributed to drinking what tap water was available, even after it was boiled...

Who knew? Jamil Hussein? Retired with kids?

My recommendation to The New Republic -- after it's reputation-destroying Scott Thomas Beauchamp debacle -- is to send someone out to northeast Baghdad for an exclusive interview with the Jamil Hussein! Now, dammit, now!

AT&T's iPhone: Innovation & Competition at $3,000/mo.

 
Remember this hilarious headline from AT&T's newsroom: "AT&T, BellSouth to Merge: Combination Will Speed Innovation, Competition and Convergence"? Ever checked out the spartan, utilitarian simplicity of AT&T's Voice Pricing Guidebook?

It's no surprise, then, to see word in Boing Boing of some poor schmoe's $3000 monthly bill from AT&T for a quick international jaunt with his iPhone.

I have a caveat emptor to top them all. I purchased an iPhone on opening day to use in lieu of a cumbersome laptop while traveling in Ireland and England for two weeks in early July. AT&T promises "easy, affordable, and convenient plans" in their advertising...

On the way to the airport, I activated the per-use international roaming data plan - the only one offered to me. The rep quoted me $.005 per KB but did not disclose what that would translate to in layman's language... That's part one of the trap. However, I now pay $40 per month for unlimited data usage on the iPhone, so really -- how much could it be? $100 at the most, right? ...

As we know, the iPhone can't be unlocked to use a European provider's SIM card for more reasonable rates while traveling. There's part two of the trap...

To be safe, I went online to My Account at AT&T a couple days into the trip and again a week later and was told "usage data is currently unavailable"... and that's part three. I had no way of knowing specific usage data until I received my bill over the last weekend.

A bill for $3000.

Yes, innovation, competition and convergence. That's precisely what I think of when someone mentions AT&T.

Boing Boing: ATT + iPhone int'l. roaming data horror story

p.s., I wonder how AT&T's IPTV deployment (code-named "Project Lightspeed") is coming? Hint: here's an availability map.

p.p.s., Ever wondered what else is in the AT&T and iPhone contractual 'fine print'?

Line o' the Day: Foxy Edwards

 
"Democratic Hairball John Edwards demanded that his opponents return campaign donations because they have too much money. Specifically, donations from News Corp., which paid him $800,000 for a book. There are 2 Americas: One that John Edwards wants to follow his rules, and then there is John Edwards."
                                                                                                            --Don Surber

Thursday, August 02, 2007

John Edwards: Man at Work

 
Ah jest can't figure this Obamba out.

First he comes out wantin' to invade Pakistan, of all places. So I think he's movin' right, tryin' to flank me...

But it's a head fake!

'Cuz right away he comes back out and says we should abolish all of our nukes. So now I think he's movin' left!

Damn Omaba keeps zig-zaggin'! There are two Americas, awright, and he's in both of 'em!

So who pops their head up but Chris Dodd! He's tryin' to look all vice-presidential sayin' that Omama's, "confusing and confused. He has made threats he should not make and made unwise categorical statements about military options."

He's just suckin' up to Hillary, tryin' to get on the ticket! Dammit all to hell and back!

Senator Edwards, the reporters are ready.

Bucky, how in the hell am I supposed to collect my wits when this new conditioner has screwed up my bounce and sheen?

Sorry, sir, but we're already ten minutes late... they're getting a bit restless...

You better pray there's not a Fox reporter out there. You know I can't perform in front of those right-wingers. Frankly, they scare me.

There's not, sir! There's not! I checked the list twice!

Well, tell them to wait! I'll be out there when my hair is good and ready!