Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Pookie's Finest

 
From today's collection of Pookie Toons:



Democratic-approved Interrogation Methods

 
After three days of screaming headlines about the CIA destroying videotapes in 2005 of the "harsh" interrogation of two terrorists, it now comes to light that in 2002 key members of Congress were fully briefed by the CIA about those interrogation techniques, including waterboarding. One member of that Congressional delegation was the future House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi.

In all, the CIA provided Congress with some 30 briefings on waterboarding before it became a public issue.

Given a proclivity for changing their minds on matters of national security (consider waterboarding, the Iraq War, or Alcee Hastings), Democrats have released a list of approved interrogation methods. Interrogators may:

Tickle with a feather (if tickling is performed by a child)

Allow the detainee to watch only Gilligan's Island re-runs

Limit dessert selection to Apple Pie Cobbler

Cancel the detainee's Delta Skymiles (although interrogators may not alter the prisoner's Medallion status)

Have Michael Bolton perform in the detainee's cell

Restrict club selection to irons at the Gitmo golf course

Prevent thermostat that controls air-conditioning from being set lower than 75°

Embroider prayer mats with tiny pictures of George W. Bush

* * *

Keep it up, terrorists, and the Democrats'll really start playing rough. Can you say "Richard Simmons?"

Monday, December 10, 2007

"If you don't believe in global warming, you're a Nazi appeaser"

 
A wonderful coincidence occurred last week. Al Gore, during his Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech, said:

We, the human species, are confronting a planetary emergency, a threat to the survival of our civilization that is gathering ominous and destructive potential even as we gather here...

However, despite a growing number of honorable exceptions, too many of the world's leaders are still best described in the words Winston Churchill applied to those who ignored Adolf Hitler's threat, and I quote, "They go on in strange paradox, decided only to be undecided, resolved only to be irresolute, adamant for drift, solid for fluidity, all-powerful to be impotent."

Hmmm. So the thousands of scientists (many of whom are prominent climatology experts) that disagree with anthropogenic global warming (AGW) are Nazi appeasers? Interesting -- and I'm glad we haven't resorted to name-calling. There's just one problem. AGW appears to be a complete and utter scam. A hoax. A money-making bonanza for Al Gore and his UN compatriots, to be sure, but a hoax nonetheless.

Gore's proselytizing for climate hysteria revolves around the dubious "carbon offset" trading business.

Put simply, a wide range of respected scientists, environmentalists, researchers, agriculturalists, and activists believe that carbon offsets are a "scam", "fantasy", "fiction", "nonsense", "fraudulent" and worse. And they've been saying so since 2000, though to read the newspaper you wouldn't know it.

And more new evidence that the hysterical posturing -- upon which the scam is built -- has arrived. EIB reports:

...Writing in the International Journal of Climatology of the Royal Meteorological Society, professor David H. Douglass (of the University of Rochester), professor John R. Christy (of the University of Alabama), Benjamin D. Pearson and professor S. Fred Singer (of the University of Virginia) report that observed patterns of temperature changes ('fingerprints') over the last 30 years disagree with what greenhouse models predict and can better be explained by natural factors, such as solar variability. The conclusion is that climate change is 'unstoppable' and cannot be affected or modified by controlling the emission of greenhouse gases, such as CO2, as is proposed in current legislation.

Oops. Is there a return authorization number Gore can use for that Nobel? I'm pretty sure he'll get his deposit back, though.

In all seriousness, the future of the carbon offset business -- a potential $250 billion bunko scam -- hangs in the balance.

I'm taking bets on which side Al Gore, his pal Michael Milken, and troubled fundraiser Anthony ("the walking ethical cloud") Coelho are banking on.

Rumbling, stumbling, bumbling: the Clinton Campaign falters

 
Albert R. Hunt of Bloomberg has today's must-read on Hillary Clinton's stumbling finish to the close of primary season.

The concerns about Clinton, 60, a New York senator, are that she is devious, calculating and, fairly or not, a divisive figure in American politics.

Understatement is one of Hunt's gifts.

Candor and authenticity were repeatedly cited. "I don't feel like I look at her and see someone who's telling me the whole truth," said Allison Lowrey, a 30-year-old human resources consultant from Philadelphia...

Actually, when I look at her, I don't see someone who's telling me any of the truth. But maybe that's just me.

Things are tense in Hillaryland these days.

Her once-commanding advantage over Obama in Iowa and New Hampshire - the two critical initial contests - is evaporating. She has gotten the worst of recent exchanges over Iran and health care.

There are political strains with her greatest asset and surrogate, Bill Clinton. The former president was quoted last month as saying he had really opposed the invasion of Iraq from the beginning. He later claimed he was misquoted.

Perhaps it depends on what the definition of 'opposed' is.

Top Clinton campaign officials were privately furious at the former president, saying he had revived the complaint that the Clintons lack credibility, unfairly tarnishing his wife in the process.

Actually, by failing to fully disclose her involvement with a range of controversies (from cattle futures, to the Rose Law firms files, Pardon-gate, or the censored Barrett and Cox Reports, she's doing a bang-up job of tarnishing herself.

...her campaign has a near-obsession with what it perceives as a hostile press. They were incensed by a story in The New York Times that reported skepticism about Hillary's contention that her proposal to overhaul health care would help a lot more people than the plan of her rival.

"Near-obsession"? As far as I can tell, Hillary's had a tempestuous relationship with the press since, say, her Arkansas days.

It's a good bet that Clinton, encouraged by her husband, is weighing a shake-up, like bringing in John Podesta, the former White House chief of staff, to direct the overall campaign. The question is whether it is too late and too awkward before those first contests, which are to be held in three and a half weeks.

It's not too late, Hillary! You can salvage your campaign with a few deft personnel moves. What's Stephanapolos doing these days, anyhow? I've got Carville's cell number. And I hear Karl Rove may be looking...

If she can't adjust and rise to this challenge, however, she may well finish third in the Iowa caucuses and lose to Obama in New Hampshire. In the past 30 years, no candidate has lost both these tests and won the nomination.

C'mon, Hillary - let's start moving those chess pieces around -- there's no time to waste! I'm here to help!!

First photo: Charlie Neibergall, AP. Other photos: Zombie.

"If it pleases the court..."

 
The Observer covers the story of Gillian Gibbons' ordeal -- the woman who was jailed for naming a teddy bear Mohammed.

[She spent] eight days of fear in a Sudan cell as angry mobs demanded her death for 'blasphemy'...

At times, Gibbons found herself both terrified by her situation and simultaneously bemused by its absurdity. In a moment of almost farcical surreality, the teddy bear itself made a courtroom appearance. 'This clerk of the court got this carrier bag and produced this bear with a flourish, like a rabbit out of the hat,' Gibbons recalls. 'He put it down on the table in front of us and it flopped over, and the prosecution [lawyer] sat him up. And then he pointed at this bear in a dead aggressive manner and he said "Is this the bear?..."

Sometimes the material just writes itself.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Mike Huckabee's confluence of weirdness

 
Having surged to a surprising lead in Iowa, GOP presidential candidate Mike Huckabee appears to be melting down faster than a popsicle lodged in Michael Moore's jowls. Larwyn points us to several weird Huckastories, many of them analyzed for us by Dan Riehl:

* Huckabee called for a quarantine of AIDS patients in 1992: Dan Riehl points out that as early as '87, Princess Di and other notables were shaking hands and hugging AIDS sufferers to reinforce the notion that the disease could not be passed through casual contact.

* Huckabee was "ignorant" of the latest National Intelligence Estimate regarding Iran: The Politico's Jonathan Martin reports that Huckabee was completely unaware of last week's dominant news story:

Kuhn: I don’t know to what extent you have been briefed or been able to take a look at the NIE report that came out yesterday ...

Huckabee: I’m sorry?

Kuhn: The NIE report, the National Intelligence Estimate on Iran. Have you been briefed or been able to take a look at it —

Huckabee: No.

Kuhn: Have you heard of the finding?

Huckabee: No.

...Kuhn: Does the United States face a higher burden of proof on Iran in light of Iraq, in the international community?

Huckabee: Probably so. First time I’ve been asked a question like that. But I think probably so because there is going to be a real anxiety for us to take any type of action without there being some very credible and almost irrefutable intelligence to validate our decision...

* Huckabee supported the disastrous bi-partisan immigration reform bill: The Washington Times reported that the candidate "...supported President Bush's immigration plan and claimed that opposition to Bush's proposal was driven by 'racism or nativism' and that it wasn't amnesty."

That message should really resonate with Iowans.

* Huckabee's made some quaint observations about homosexuality: Riehl ("there goes the Log Cabin vote") highlights a Huckaboo-boo:

Asked if he thinks homosexuality is sinful, he said, “Well I believe it would be -- just like lying is sinful and stealing is sinful. There are a lot of things that are sinful. It doesn't mean that a person is a horrible person. It means that they engage in behavior that is outside the norms of those boundaries of our traditional view of what's right and what's wrong.

[Well, that's better than his 1992 view:]

I feel homosexuality is an aberrant, unnatural, and sinful lifestyle, and we now know it can pose a dangerous public health risk.

* * *

Any more stories like these and the governor might as well change his name to Huck Paul.

Obligatory Tech Post o' the Week: the Intelligent Sports Bra

 
London's Daily Mail covers a technology breakthrough for female athletes: the intelligent sports bra.

As most women would attest, it is almost impossible to take the jiggling out of jogging... Even the most expensive sports bras can fail to stop the painful bouncing which leads to long-term damage.

[Scientists] have developed an "intelligent fabric" to use when testing bra designs in the lab...

...Reporting their findings in the latest issue of the Journal of Biomechanics, they say: "A consequence of current brassiere design is that the brassiere straps bear much of the load generated by breast momentum during physical activity.

"As breast mass increases, breast bounce momentum also increases, placing large loads on the straps and, in turn, excessive pressure on the wearer's shoulders...

...Brassiere designers will have the ability directly to assess the effects of changes to each brassiere component on vertical breast and brassiere motion using fabric sensors."

Scientists really had to rack their brains to come up with this startling innovation.

Miss Utah awarded Combat Medic Badge

 
Gateway Pundit notes that Miss Utah Jill Stevens was awarded the Combat Medic Badge.

Miss Utah Jill Stevens appears on the cover of Soldiers Magazine's December 2007 issue.

SGT Jill Stevens is a recent graduate of Southern Utah University with a bachelor’s degree in nursing, 12 marathons under her belt, six years as a combat medic in the Utah National Guard, and she’s just applied for a direct commission to become an Army nurse... Miss Utah Jill Stevens was also awarded the Army Combat Medic Badge... JacketIM explained the significance of her awards:

...In the Army, the CMB, along with the CIB (Combat Infantry Badge), is considered to be the most prestigious award available, and is worn on the uniform above all other badges and awards, including the Medal of Honor.

I commanded an Army Medevac Unit and have the highest regard for Army (and for that matter, Navy, Marine, and Air Force) medics. As a group, their dedication to duty, bravery, and skill in saving the lives of their fellow soldiers is simply unmatched. The fact that she wears a CMB is proof that she has served as a medic in an infantry unit while under enemy fire. She is a hero.

And Miss Utah's by no means the only one.

The NFL Cheerleader Blog's Wearing Two Uniforms article has plenty of information on professional cheerleaders who combine beauty, brawn and brains in service of our country.

Of the cheerleaders, I do have to highlight Rachel, one of my oldest daughter's best friends. She is not only a Philadelphia Eagles cheerleader, but is also a full-time college student and a US Army ROTC Cadet hoping to serve as an active duty specialist in intelligence.

Photo o' the Day: Impeachment

 
Newsbuster's caption-fest has today's winning image.

Hillary Rodham (C), a lawyer for the Rodino Committee and John Doar (L), Chief Counsel for the committee, bring impeachment charges in 1974 against President Richard Nixon in the Judiciary Committee.

Wow. When Hillary was young, she was simply stunning. Stunning. It's easy to see what Bill saw in her.

Saturday, December 08, 2007

Both in One Trench: guaranteed to make liberals cry

 
Ray Robison's Both in One Trench looks like this season's nascent bestseller.

In 2003 the United States invaded Iraq to remove Saddam Hussein from power. Subsequently, the U.S. government collected millions of the Iraqi regimes documents and media items. These Arabic documents have been translated and for the first time reveal the amazing secret support Saddam provided to Islamic terrorism...

...Transcripts from meetings in Baghdad showed the Taliban asked for help and Saddam's regime agreed to assist them even as the Taliban provided safe haven and support to Usama bin Laden and al Qaeda while it plotted the attacks of September 11th, 2001.

These documents reveal that the Saddam regime had a long history of cooperation with Islamic terrorists and was a legitimate target in the Global War on Terror.

The story revealed in these pages shows that the United States was correct in accessing that Saddam Hussein was a threat because of his support to terrorism. The United States was right to remove Saddam Hussein from power and stay to fight al Qaeda in Iraq.

Go order it and read snippets over the phone to your friendly, neighborhood liberal. I guarantee it will make any "progressive" cry. The truth hurts.

Bill Keller's master plan to de-select the Times

 
Clay Waters, writing at Times Watch, highlights noteworthy aspects of a speech by Bill Keller. Keller is the Executive Editor of the New York Times, the second-leading source of information for anti-U.S. propagandists (al-Jazeera remains number one by a narrow margin).

Last week, Keller delivered the "Hugo Chavez Young Memorial Lecture", sponsored by London's ultra-liberal Guardian newspaper, and "said some things to his journalistic friends he might not have felt comfortable telling a more general audience."

...At least since the election of 2000, with its attendant questions of legitimacy, some of the wide, reasonable middle of the American electorate has gravitated to angry and intolerant fringes, right and left. There are many reasons for this -- including the proliferation of partisan blogs, hate-mongering radio broadcasts and intemperate television shout shows -- but a president plays a considerable role in setting the tone of public discourse... dividing the electorate into mistrustful camps and pandering to their fears was an explicit strategy of the president's political wizard, Karl Rove.

Interesting. I've never heard these memes before. You say the 2000 election was stolen by Bush?

That the president divided the country into mistrustful camps (say, by soliciting MorOn.org to portray him as Hitler)?

And you say that Rove was the diabolical force behind it all? Fascinating. I've never heard such things before.

...After our decision to report on the government's warrantless wiretapping program, some members of the administration's amen chorus proposed that the Times be charged with treason under the Espionage Act. A right-wing radio pundit suggested that I be put to death... And another defender of the national interest posted maps to my apartment -- and my publishers' -- on the internet, for the benefit of any lunatics who wanted to drop by and set us straight. Those of you who are acquainted with New York apartment life can imagine how that went over with my co-op board.

Keller fails to relate that his paper (in June 2006) published the locations of the weekend homes of Vice President Dick Cheney and former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld.

...And I would argue that in this clattering, interconnected, dangerous world, journalism that cuts through the noise has never been needed more. We have a war going very badly in Iraq, and another one in Afghanistan where our declaration of victory looks very premature...

Waters' apt retort: If Keller still thinks the Iraq war is "going very badly" even after the troop surge, perhaps he should take a moment to read the front page of his own paper. Well, no one else seems to be reading it these days, so who can blame him?

...we are agnostic as to where a story may lead; we do not go into a story with an agenda or a pre-conceived notion. We do not manipulate or hide facts to advance an agenda...

Here's proof of Keller's "agnostic" approach: remember Al Qaqaa? This was the weapons cache that American forces reportedly failed to secure after the fall of Saddam's government. In the week leading up to the 2004 Presidential Election, Keller's newspaper treated this story as though a large asteroid were about to hit the Earth (which, by the way, would have been Bush's fault).

The New York Times ran a week's worth of front-page stories on Al-Qaqaa; it featured 16 total articles and columns and seven anti-administration letters to the editor over an eight day span.

Jonah Goldberg relates:

Oh, and they left something else out: The weapons might have been removed before the invasion. Over the course of the week, the Times was forced to concede, often grudgingly and obliquely, that the weapons may not have been there for U.S. forces to secure in the first place...

So, anyway, I'd forgotten about all this. Bush won the election despite the al-Qaqaa drumbeat from Kerry and his surrogates in and out of the press.

But Byron York, my NR colleague, didn't forget. He wondered, whatever happened to The Biggest Story on Earth? The answer, it turns out, is nothing. The Times has not run a single story about the al-Qaqaa story since November 1 [2004]...

Agenda? What agenda?

We strive to preserve our independence from political and economic interests, including our own advertisers. We do not work in the service of a party, or an industry, or even a country.

The Times doesn't work in the service of the United States? You won't get an argument from me on that assertion.

When there are competing views of a situation, we aim to reflect them as clearly and fairly as we can."

Rimshot? Can we get a stinkin' rimshot now?

Keller, I'm glad you haven't been charged with violating the Espionage Act yet, though heaven knows you deserve it. Instead, I'm patiently awaiting the day that you're fired for your wonderful stewardship of the Times. How's that Internet strategy working out for you, putz? Oh, and I hear that the Huntington (West Virginia) Herald-Dispatch may be looking for an editor.

Friday, December 07, 2007

CNN Headline from the year 2067

 
In a decision that could signal a successful prosecution in the 2005 disappearance of Alabama teenager Natalee Holloway, an Aruban judge on Friday ordered the re-arrest of Joran van der Sloot. The arrest represents the thirty-sixth time that van der Sloot has been detained by Aruban authorities.

The other suspects, brothers Deepak and Satish Kalpoe, died of natural causes in the 2050's.

The best of today's Pookie collection

 
Culled from Pookie's finest.





I know this last one isn't a political cartoon, but it sent shivers down my spine. Don't know about you, but that's how I could imagine heaven to be.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

The NIE: a purposefully mismatched headline

 
Atlas points us to the single most important analysis of the NIE that I've yet seen. Robert Tracinski, writing at The Intellectual Activist (subscription required), strips away the fantasy around the NIE and leaves only cold, irreducible facts.

The National Intelligence Estimate on Iran is a surprisingly short and thin document that offers nothing substantively new. It does not reveal any major new evidence about Iran's nuclear program or its intentions, nor does it even refer to the existence of such evidence...

It does not deny, for example, that Iran has obtained blueprints and technical guidance on how to build the core of a nuclear weapon and on how to mount nuclear bombs on a missile. These facts have already been admitted by Iran and acknowledged by the UN's International Atomic Energy Agency. The NIE does not deny that Iran is enriching uranium on an industrial scale, because that is also public knowledge, loudly and boastfully announced by Ahmadinejad.

...All that the new NIE does is to add a prominent statement that Iran suspended its covert enrichment program—which Iran then exchanged for an open, ostensibly civilian enrichment program. But this makes little difference; uranium enriched by a civilian program can still be diverted to make a bomb. And then the NIE adds its opinion that this relatively minor change was in response to "international pressure."

...The NIE acknowledges, for example, that it has no evidence that Iran has actually halted its entire nuclear weapons program... In other words, Iran devoted two decades and billions of dollars to developing nuclear weapons, which it needs if it's going to thwart the Great Satan—so why should it stop trying?

...The full picture of Iran's activity over the past four years is that of a dangerous power seeking to assert regional dominance and to spread its ideology of radical Islam by encouraging the aggression of an "Islamist Axis" of terrorist militias [insurgencies, the Taliban, Hamas, Hezbollah] across the greater Middle East. Yet all of this is completely evaded in the NIE's benevolent assessment of Iran's intentions.

...[The NIE] is an exercise in writing pro-Iran headlines over text that doesn't support it.

Maybe Iran's mullahs were just kidding about destroying America, the U.K. and Israel. But I wouldn't count on it.

Atlas has Tracinski's entire piece. Read it all.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

See Clinton Run. Run Clinton, Run.

 
Barack Obama notes that Hillary Clinton has been running for President since 2000.
 
Clinton counters with a third grade essay by Obama where he said he wants to be President.

Where are the grownups?

* * *

A Texas-sized tip o' the hat to GM Roper, whose concept we shamelessly "borrowed."