Friday, June 13, 2008

CSI: Waziristan


In 2008, a divided Supreme Court insisted that terrorists captured on the battlefield be given the rights of U.S. citizens...

Welcome to Waziristan, Mr...

Grissom. Gil Grissom.

I'm Lance Corporal Case. I was told by my CO that you wanted to speak with me.

Yep, we do. We understand that your unit captured Abu Ayab Mashadani, the accused terrorist.

That's correct, sir.

Can you tell me what happened?

Sir, we ran into an ambush while on patrol. The Taliban opened fire on my squad. Mashadani was firing an AK-47 and I shot him twice, wounding him.

Son, did you preserve all of the evidence?

Evidence?

Yes, son, like the empty shell casings from the AK-47! Did you put on gloves to pick them up?

Uhm, no sir. Not only did I not put on gloves, I didn't save any -er- evidence. Sorry.

Well, how in the hell can we prove he was shooting at you? Well, please tell me that you read him his rights.

Rights?

His Miranda Rights!

Uh, sir, no sir. I really forgot - what with all the rounds flying and such.

For the love of... dammit, son, didn't you hear that Gitmo was closed?

Yes, sir.

That means all prisoners go to the States where they get criminal trials. Unless we don't have a lick of evidence... which seems to be the case here.

I'm very sorry, sir.

...which just means you can release the prisoner. Let him go.

Sir??? What??

Blame Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi, son, it's not my fault. You've got to just let 'em go.

Dammit, sir, he's just gonna start shooting at us again!

Maybe you could write a letter to your Representative about reopening Gitmo.

Yes, sir. I've definitely got some ideas about the first prisoners if it reopens. The first ones in should be some of these treasonous SOB's responsible for closing the most humane prison in the world.

Indeed, son, indeed.

Hat tip: Reliapundit

Former USF student pleads guilty to terrorism charge


Remember the case of the two South Florida students detained near a military base in South Carolina after pipe bombs were found in their car?

One of the two entered a plea deal today, though it's unlikely you heard it through our beloved mainstream media.

Last September the U.S. Attorney's Office released details regarding the contents of their car: pipes filled with fertilizer, Karo syrup, kitty litter, bullets and fuses, a laptop with a history of web searches on Jihadist martyrdom, Hamas and Qassam rockets and video instructions for turning a remote-control car into a detonator.

Today Youseff Mohamed entered a plea agreement admitting guilt.

In the court document, he admits to providing material to support terrorists. He also acknowledges that a YouTube video he produced was to be used in "preparation for or in carrying out the killing of employees of the United States," including uniformed personnel.

I wonder if the U.S. Attorney will receive an apology from CAIR.

I won't hold my breath.

More info: The Plea Agreement and Gateway Pundit. Linked by: LGF. Thanks!

Photo o' the day: Sadr City


And maybe photo o' the year.


Ripped off from Gateway Pundit
, who has the back-story.

How good are our troops? They've gone ahead and won a war that even some of our own politicians -- Democrats like Harry Reid -- said was "lost." I wonder when Reid and the rest of the Democrats will issue a formal apology to the U.S. military.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Survivor: ObamaFriends


I'm Jeff Probst and welcome to the season finale of...

Survivor ObamaFriends!

Let's recap the first eight weeks of the show.

Week one: campaign financier Tony Rezko, who Barack kicked off the show with the immortal words Turn that f***ing camera off you s***head!

Week two: Barack's lifelong friend, pastor and advisor Jeremiah Wright was booted, leaving a farewell message of G*dd**n America and its televisions! These shows were invented to harm all people of color!

Week three: It was time for one-time terrorist and Obama fundraiser William Ayers to leave. He said, I don't regret anything I've done on this show, including stealing all of Jeremiah Wright's underwear. I feel we didn't do enough."

Week four: Father William Pfleger bid us adieu with the immortal words: "America is the greatest sin against God and the second greatest sin in this damnable show!"

Week five: State Senator and Reverend James Meeks left the show in a hurried controversy when he said of your beloved host -- Jeff Probst, "He may not be a slave master. But we have the same game show hosts. It's the same white people who are presiding over reality shows where black people are not eligible!!!”

Week six: Obama campaign adviser Jim Johnson was jettisoned from the campaign when questionable loans from subprime lender Countrywide were revealed. When asked to tape a closing comment for the show, he simply passed gas and then made a "rim-shot" noise.

Well... the time to reveal our Survivor winner has arrived.

Barack must choose from the two finalists: Hillary Clinton or his wife: Michelle Obama. Earlier, Barack wrote the name of the loser and deposited it in the ballot box. Let's read it now!

And the second-place finisher is... Michelle Obama! Michelle, any final words before you depart? I'll give you some words! I'll give you some damn words, you two-faced... --

And our finalist is... wait just a second... ...there's another vote in the box! It says Barack Obama!

That can't be right!

I'm afraid those are the rules, Barry!

And that -- that means -- Hillary Clinton is our winner!

How the f*** did she do that?

How did I lose? I had this wrapped up!!

Hehehe! I love it when a plan comes together!



Texas-sized tip o' the hat to: Reliapundit.