Jammie has a story on ESPN's Erin Andrews, a hotel, a Peeping Tom and a scandal. I didn't bother to read it, but here's a picture.
Feel free to click through. I'll wait here.
Feel free to click through. I'll wait here.



The only question that remains: how long will it be until Al Gore references these storms as 'proof positive' of
Government Tax Revenue Declining:
US Housing Market Failure:
Stock Market
...If this is average – how low is low if investors turn their backs on stocks? There’s the real economy which generates the earnings, and then there’s the investor sentiment/perception which dictates the multiple they are willing to pay for those earnings. We already know that the real economy is in severe decline. What happens if investor sentiment changes?
Sprott foresees one of three stock market scenarios: S&P 500 at 378, 506 or (depression scenario) 189. For comparison's sake, the S&P closed at 954 today.
Say Agh: Obama Paid Off the AMA: Ace
I'm Barack Obama and thank you for watching my forty-second prime time broadcast over the course of my young administration. Tonight I'll be discussing two issues important to all Americans: Universal Health Care and immigration.
I'll be frank: when we say that 47 million Americans don't have health care, we're including a sizable chunk of undocumented immigrants -- you may know them by the term "illegal aliens".
Ever since the era of Lyndon Baines Johnson, we Democrats have promoted open borders, amnesty for illegals, chain migration and a path to citizenship for anyone who enters the country.
And the Reds beat the Braves, 9-3 behind a complete game from -- dammit, Rahm, my teleprompter is picking up ESPN again!
Uh, ehm, with Mexico's government crumbling under the twin weights of a global economic meltdown and brutal drug cartels, the President of Mexico -- Vicente Fox -- and I have come up with a simple, but effective, plan.
It combines universal health care, an open border with Mexico and a "superhighway to citizenship" for anyone entering the country.
Because of this policy, there will be no need for politically incorrect designations like "illegal aliens", because anyone entering the country can automatically become a citizen of the United States and Mexico.
So instead of the loaded term "illegal aliens", we'll simply call them "Democrats".
Suck on that, Rove!
Best of all, everyone in the United States and Mexico will get the same free, high quality health care. Partying in Cancun and catch the Swine Flu? No problemo, mi amigo!
Visiting your relatives in San Antonio and sprain your ankle? Simply walk into any convenient Social Security Office or Bureau of Motor Vehicles location, take a number, and enjoy the free Muzak and complimentary General Motors Magazines while you wait.
We call this tremendous new program: La Raza-Care.
La Raza-Care combines all of the benefits of open borders with a multi-country health care system second to none.
Now to pay for this, I am sorry to report that the massive tax cut for 95% of Americans that we recently implemented will have to be dismantled. Along with that, we will be making a few, minor changes to the tax code. So minor, in fact, you will hardly notice them.
* Under the new tax code, your refund check goes directly to ACORN.
* For a vacation to Mexico to count as a business trip, you must return with 100 or more pounds of government-grade marijuana.
* Attorney General Eric Holder gets to write off the entire United States Constitution.
* I can claim my teleprompter as a dependent.
* Finally, all registered Democrats will get a deduction for mortgaging our entire future.
I'm sure you have a lot of questions about this tremendous new program. So we've set up a website to explain your benefits at LaRazaCare.gov and, in español, LaRazaCare.mx. Happily, both sites accept donations for my 2012 campaign.
We'll soon be enjoying the same wonderful care that our veterans receive at the VA thanks to the leadership of Congress. I'd like to personally thank Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Christopher Dodd, Barney Frank, Charlie Rangel and Diane Feinstein who rammed this through using an arcane procedural loophole without debate, transparency or discussion!
Best of all, La Raza-Care will have the same firm economic foundation enjoyed by Medicare and Medicaid!
So bless you my friends, and may the Lord keep you safe from harm. You'll need it. Adios, Amigos!
On second thought, I'm truly glad I didn't get a chance to read the Porkulus bill before the Democrats jammed it down our throats, sight unseen.THE PRESIDENT: ...I actually think that the tougher issue around medical care — it’s a related one — is what you do around things like end-of-life care —
Yes, where it’s $20,000 for an extra week of life.
THE PRESIDENT: Exactly. And I just recently went through this. I mean, I’ve told this story, maybe not publicly, but when my grandmother got very ill during the campaign, she got cancer; it was determined to be terminal. And about two or three weeks after her diagnosis she fell, broke her hip. It was determined that she might have had a mild stroke, which is what had precipitated the fall.So now she’s in the hospital, and the doctor says, Look, you’ve got about — maybe you have three months, maybe you have six months, maybe you have nine months to live. Because of the weakness of your heart, if you have an operation on your hip there are certain risks that — you know, your heart can’t take it. On the other hand, if you just sit there with your hip like this, you’re just going to waste away and your quality of life will be terrible.
And she elected to get the hip replacement and was fine for about two weeks after the hip replacement, and then suddenly just — you know, things fell apart.
I don’t know how much that hip replacement cost. I would have paid out of pocket for that hip replacement just because she’s my grandmother. Whether, sort of in the aggregate, society making those decisions to give my grandmother, or everybody else’s aging grandparents or parents, a hip replacement when they’re terminally ill is a sustainable model, is a very difficult question. If somebody told me that my grandmother couldn’t have a hip replacement and she had to lie there in misery in the waning days of her life — that would be pretty upsetting.
And it’s going to be hard for people who don’t have the option of paying for it.
THE PRESIDENT: So that’s where I think you just get into some very difficult moral issues. But that’s also a huge driver of cost, right?
I mean, the chronically ill and those toward the end of their lives are accounting for potentially 80 percent of the total health care bill out here.
So how do you — how do we deal with it?
THE PRESIDENT: ...you have to have some independent group that can give you guidance. It’s not determinative, but I think has to be able to give you some guidance. And that’s part of what I suspect you’ll see emerging out of the various health care conversations that are taking place on the Hill right now.
And we know this, because this is what occurs in Canada and Britain and other centralized bureaucracies, where you simply can not have access to advanced health care, period.
Because the politicians don't last. But their policies live forever.
99% of my professors are Democrats: CSM
Universal International News, in conjunction with the Obama administration, presents Government Newsreel number 903.
Under cover of darkness, GM's top secret new vehicle -- the 2012 Buick Bureaucrat -- arrives at the New York Auto Show. Powered entirely by green energy sources, this beautiful Buick turns heads as it hits a top speed of 200 feet per minute.
Not to be outdone, Chrysler's luxurious Dodge Deficit offers a unique eight-door design, which means your entire family will arrive in style at the soup kitchen.
Good news at the National Healthcare Service: President Obama has promised to airlift hundreds of doctors from Cuba later this month to address the long lines in hospitals. Government officials have also promised to remedy medical priorities that currently place undocumented citizens at the front of the line.
And more positive news on the economic front: the rate of unemployment increases has slowed, moving from 17.1% to 17.4%, a tenth-of-a-percent less than analysts had predicted! Proof positive that Stimulus Seven is working!
As for financing the $45 trillion national debt, great progress this week as leaders from Brazil, Russia, India and China have agreed to meet next month in Beijing. Topic one will be answering President Obama's request to buy more Treasury Bills.
Blackouts continue to plague the industrial Northeast as wind production farms have missed their quotas for the third month in a row. The Department of Energy promises to find new green energy sources by 2013 that should help alleviate the troublesome outages.
The velvet cloak of night did not stop President Obama from introducing his new volunteer corp uniforms. The new cadre combines elements of ACORN, Organizing for America, Change.gov, the SEIU and Americorps into a single, cohesive unit! First job on the list: internal national security to ensure safety for all Americans!
Lastly, a well-deserved comeuppance for hate-speech specialists Michelle Malkin and Glenn Reynolds. They were convicted last week of 800 counts of inciting hatred and sentenced to 20 years in Leavenworth. Hate-mongers beware: expect internal security forces to be knocking on your doors shortly!
Join us next week for more approved news stories, only from Universal International News, the patriotic channel!