Doug Ross @ Journal

New York Times Op-Ed Page Explained

CNet reported yesterday that Thomson Financial has turned to computers to write business stories. Software (CNet terms it "robo-reporters") will be used to crank out earnings stories.

In fact, a company spokeperson announced that computers will be used to write increasing numbers of business stories for Thomson. It makes sense, since a program can punch out an earnings story in less than half a second after results are released.

The author of this article -- the JournalistPro 6000 Series (just kidding, it's actually Greg Sandoval) -- is perhaps embittered by the outsourcing of his profession to a small, air-cooled box. He tosses in the following sneer at the end of his piece:

What's unclear is how a PC will stand up to accusations of a liberal bias.

At last! Finally, we have a suitable explanation for the New York Times op-ed page! Or, as I like to call it, the Axis of Ignorance: Maureen Dowd, Bob Herbert, and Frank Rich.

I mean, what other explanation is there for the axis' 156 stories in a row, all pillorying the Bush administration? That's right, of 156 stories, each and everyone took a negative view of the administration.

Consider the DowdHerbertRich algorithm: throw in some references to "Bushie" and "Rummy". Toss in a a few random phrases such as "Abu Graib" and "Halliburton." Ignore 9/11 and the ever-expanding war on terror (and, of course, fake stories like Al Qaqaa that have outlived their usefulness). And finish off the piece with a reference to Daddy (Bush 41) and rich kids.

Damn, it all makes sense now! Maybe that's why we've never seen Maureen Dowd and the New York Times' P-Series in the same place at the same time!