Doug Ross @ Journal

Presidential Idol

I don't feel no ways tired!


I come too far from where I started from!


Nobody told me that the road would be easy!


I don't believe he brought me this far to leave me.


* * * (polite applause) * * *


Thank y'all. Thank y'all very, very much. Ah really appreciate it!


I'm sorry, dog, but it wasn't a good choice. It really didn't work for me.


Honestly, it sounded like you were pandering. Insincere. But that's just me.


Hillary, you look really beautiful. The work you've had done has... really softened you.


I just think it was a poor choice today. You can do better than that. But you looked really, really cute.


Was that a southern drawl or a car alarm going off?


You sounded like someone attached electrodes to a jackal... and then turned up the juice.


If I had to listen to your voice for four years, I'd put my head in a blender and select "smoothie". And then purée.


Hillary. You're an utter, utter disaster. Think about it: Hillary-care, Whitewater, the Rose Law firm records, the cattle futures windfall. Then, you layer on that voice. You've got a better chance of landing the prima ballerina role in Swan Lake.


Wow.


Hillary, how'd it feel to perform using a difficult accent and then... kind of get... ripped -- in front of millions of people -- by the judges?


. . .


I will put your head on a pike, Seacrest, so that everyone who follows you will know what happens when you cross Hillary Clinton!


- And thanks for watching Presidential Idol, folks! Remember to text your vote to 888-555-IDOL!


Oven-baked good readin', just like Mama used to make:
Anchoress, Baldilocks, Gateway Pundit, Hang Right Politics, Hugh Hewitt, Michelle Malkin, Mr. Verb, OTB, Rick Moran, STACLU