Top Eight Reasons Democrats Might Win in '08

1. Ask about our "Crack-for-Votes" program!

2. $5 Rielle Hunter lap-dances during Happy Hour

3. All the benefits of Trade Unions, now for Doctors!

4. Same-day dead voter registration

5. Tax-Cut Lotto

6. Free Healthcare services at the BMV

7. $500 Tax Deduction for each bong

8. Screw Iraq, Invade Pakistan!