Sunday, September 21, 2008

Official 2008 Standardized Test for Democrats (STD)



Section 1: Diplomacy and War


FISA:
Pilloried the administration's international terrorist wiretapping program
Immunized the telcos from lawsuits regarding the international terrorist wiretapping program

Meeting with Iran's leaders without preconditions:
Favors meeting Iran's leaders without preconditions
Requires conditions before meeting with Iran's leaders

The Surge in Iraq:
Opposed the Surge until it was obvious to everyone that it had worked
Admitted the Surge worked but did not admit he erred in opposing it

Cuba Embargo
Opposes the Embargo, saying it "utterly failed"
Favors the Embargo, calling it "an important inducement for change"

Section 2: Terrorism and the Middle East


Guantanamo Bay:
Favors giving terrorist POWs full rights of US citizens in the civilian court system
Claims he does not want to grant terrorist POWs the rights of criminal suspects in the US

Patriot Act:
Opposed Patriot Act
Voted for Patriot Act

Palestinian Elections:
Opposes holding elections with Hamas on the ballot
Favors holding elections with Hamas on the ballot

Jerusalem:
Favors an undivided Jerusalem
Favors a divided Jerusalem

Section 3: Economy


NAFTA:
Hammered the administration's support for free trade
Said his anti-NAFTA rhetoric was "overheated"

Clean coal:
Favors coal-to-fuel programs
Oppposes coal-to-fuel programs

Illegal Immigration:
Favors cracking down on employers abusing immigration laws
Opposes cracking down on employers abusing immigration laws

Fannie Mae:
Pillories the administration for loosely regulating Fannie Mae
Hires the disgraced CEO of Fannie Mae, three months before its fails, to lead his VP search

Section 4: Education and Social Issues


School Vouchers:
Told reporters he favored local voucher programs
Announced his intention to quash local voucher programs

Welfare Reform:
Favors welfare reform in his ads
Opposed the largest welfare reform effort in the last two decades

Faith-based initiatives:
Favors public grants for faith-based initiatives
Opposes public grants for faith-based initiatives

Gay Marriage:
States should decide gay marriage
California's attempt to decide gay marriage for itself is 'divisive'

Second Amendment:
Believed the DC Handgun Ban was constitutional
Agreed with the Supreme Court striking down the DC Handgun Ban

Abortion
Believes “mental distress” should qualify as a health exception for late term-abortions
Believes “mental distress” should not qualify as a health exception for late term-abortions

Death Penalty
Opposes the death penalty
Favors the death penalty

Section 5: Politics


Publicly financed elections:
Promised to "aggressively pursue" a publicly financed general election
Broke his promise to "aggressively pursue" a publicly financed general election

On the question of Union contributions constituting "special interests":
Describes union money as "special interest" contributions
Describes union money as simply funds provided by "working people"

Wearing a U.S. flag pin:
After 9/11, does not wear a flag pin because it represents a substitute for "true patriotism"
Once the general election begins, wears a flag pin

Pastor and spiritual mentor the Reverend Jeremiah Wright:
Can no more disown Wright than his "white grandmother".
Disowns Wright after he becomes a huge political liability

Serving as Chairman of the Chicago Annenberg Challenge (CAC, run by terrorist Bill Ayers)
In his first run at Congress, points to the CAC as his central qualification
Omits the CAC from his resume in his run for the presidency

The beautiful thing about this test is this: there are no wrong answers, as Obama has expressed every opinion listed herein. It's all about judgment and core convictions. Oh, and nuance!

Especially for: Jon.

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