Top Eight Reasons Mrs. Tiger Woods Should Have Known...

#8 - Frequently spotted in nightclubs with Eliot Spitzer.

#7 - Unexplained nicks and dents on his balls.

#6 - Retrofitted his Cadillac Escalade with curb feelers.

#5 - American Express charge for $2,000 from Waffle House.

#4 - Had always promised he'd be faithful within the three adjoining counties.

#3 - Often heard humming the theme song from Shaft in the shower.

#2 - On Facebook, his relationship status reads, "Dayammmmmmmmmm."

#1 - Always referred to his privates as "the wood".