Ah... Sorry to bother you President Obama, SirExcuse me Mr. Obama, I mean President Obama, sir. Uhm... know you are busy and important and stuff. I mean serving as president is very important and . . . ah... I hate to bother you. I will only take a minute okay, sir?
See, I have these missing pieces that are holding me up, and I was wondering sir, if you could take time out of your busy schedule and help me out. You know, no big deal, just some loose ends and things.
Hey, this White House sure is a nice place! The wife sees pictures of this place on TV all the time and says boy she wishes she had digs like this you know? Is that painting real? Really? Wow. I saw something like that in a museum once!
Oh, sorry sir. I didn't mean to get off the track. So if you could just help me out a minute and give me some details, I will get right out of your way. I want to close this case and maybe take the wife to Coney Island or something. Ever been to Coney Island? No, I didn't think so...
Well, listen, anyways, I can't seem to get some information I need to wrap this up. These things seem to either be 'locked' or 'not available'. I'm sure it's just some oversight or glitch or something, so if you could you tell me where these things are... ... ...have them written down here somewhere... oh wait. Sorry about the smears. It was raining out. I'll just read it to you.
Could you help me please find these things, sir?
1. Occidental College records and transcripts -- Not released
2. Columbia University records and transcripts -- Not released
3. Columbia Thesis paper -- 'not available'
4. Harvard University records and transcripts -- Not released
5. Selective Service Registration -- Not released
6. Medical records -- Not released
7. Illinois State Senate schedule -- 'not available'
8. Law practice client list -- Not released
9. Certified Copy of original Birth certificate -- Not released
10. Embossed, signed paper Certification of Live Birth -- Not released
11. Harvard Law Review articles published -- None
12. University of Chicago scholarly articles -- None
13. Record of Baptism -- Not released or 'not available'
14. Illinois State Senate records -- 'not available'
Oh hey... listen! I know you are busy! Is this too much for you now? I mean tell you what. I will come back tomorrow. Give you some time to get these things together, you know? I mean, I know you are busy, so I will just let myself out. I will be back tomorrow. And the day after...
'Who wants to know these things?' asks President Obama.
The American People, answers Columbo.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Ah... Sorry to bother you President Obama, Sir
Papa B sent this one in.
Beautiful...absolutely beautiful!
ReplyDeleteOne of the first things Obamao did was to issue Executive Order 13489 sealing all those records.
ReplyDeleteYou can read it right here: http://edocket.access.gpo.gov/2009/pdf/E9-1712.pdf
Ask yourself why it was so important to him make it the first thing he did in office was to seal those records. What is in them that he is so afraid of anyone finding?
Where there is smoke there is fire.
A quick read of the Executive Order suggests that it applies to records held by the National Archives. I don't believe the documents in question ever made it to the National Archives.
ReplyDeleteYou forgot the one about "Uh, what passport did you use when you visited Pakistan back in college?"
ReplyDelete5. Selective Service Registration -- Not released
ReplyDeleteIn the slight chance that your readers haven't heard of this particular issue:
www.debbieschlussel.com/archives/2008/11/exclusive_did_n.html
EXCLUSIVE: Did Next Commander-in-Chief Falsify Selective Service ...Far more likely is that someone made up a fake Selective Service ..... has posted that you want all references to Debbie Schlussel removed from her ...
If securities rules applied to federal research grants, half the professors would be in jail! Obama's constituencies are universities, lawyers and unions. The universities are in it for the grants. Any Republican that votes money for universities is a traitor.
ReplyDeleteUPI June 6, 1992 Sovern took over at Columbia after student protests of 1968 and New York's fiscal problems in the '70s resulted in less financial support for the school, a situation made more dire by recent federal government budget cuts. . . But Columbia will be looking for a new president in a period troubled by criticism for destroying records that were being reviewed for improprieties. Universities in general have been under greater scrutiny for how they charge the government for federally sponsored research.
They love third world students because they don't expect the professors to work for the tuition! Surely You Are Joking Feynman p 215 "If I ask you a question during the lecture, afterwards everybody will be telling me, 'What are you wasting our time for in the class? We're trying to learn something. And you're stopping him by asking a question'."
When Obama falls in 2010, we should go through the grant-grubbing Ivy Leagues that produce commie-nutty organizers with a flame thrower! Ivy League universities are not good at getting students jobs, only grants to be commie nutty organizers. If you are liberal, anything you do is inherently ethical for the cause, but if you are a conservative, and believe in GOD, family or business, your very moral fiber, even down to trivial autonomic responses, is subject to persecution as either dangerously criminal or the result of clinical illness. Bush 43 had two Ivy degrees and they treated him as stupid because he was conservative even though he had better grades and entrance scores and took a lot tougher courses than Gore. Professors are the ultimate molestor high priests because they extort and control your transcripts and your grants if you turn them in. Like a cult, they will make your children denounce you and everything you stand for as unworthy. The lowest level university bureaucrats actually suffer the worst affectations and are likey to be the most vicious persecutors of your children. No business ever trusts such left wing graduates who don't believe in capitalism and become crooks because they are taught the only way business makes money is crooked so they seek to avenge their unemployability through their own crookedness. The universities consider real jobs and competition beneath them, so they want their little sissies to live off grants, even in the hard sciences or business. How many of their engineering professors have Professional Engineering certification? Almost none! They love foreign students because they slave up and don't expect professors to actually work for the tuition, like American students do. No middle class parent should consider sending their kids there, because these schools will destroy your entire family. The only schools that understand middle-class values are for-profits. Middle class parents foolish enough to buy into the Ivy League dream die way too young.
Ha, he's got the "Columbo cadence" down pat. Cool.
ReplyDelete