Breaking: Newsweek's Howard Fineman Is a Birther!

Newsweak's numbskull-in-chief, Howard Fineman, appeared on PMSNBC the other day. If it hadn't been for Mark Levin's producer, no one would have even known, since the network's ratings are slightly behind airport radar and the test pattern on channel 4000.

Fineman's incoherent rant, transcribed here for your amusement, accused Rush Limbaugh and Levin of being... birthers. That's right. Let's listen in.

And then you have the health care law, which -- because Obama set it up in such a way that many of its important features don't come into play 'til 2013 or 2014 -- it's hard for voters to see immediate benefit from it. Ironically, one of the first immediate benefits is, uh, uhm, eh, is a category of things that Mitch Daniels and others are signing up for right now.

That's, that's what they're going to campaign on.

Meanwhile, the cooks of the world, Rush Limbaugh and, you know, Mark Levin, and these people are going to talking about birth certificates and Kenya and Christianity and that stuff, so.. .in the House, and in the Senate will try to keep the high ground (sic), while the others do the dirty work...

Now, Howard, let me tap you with the metaphorical clue hammer.

Levin is the head of Landmark Legal Foundation. He's a former Justice Department official. He's a Constitutional attorney who is helping to defend the states of Arizona and Virginia against the illegal machinations of the hard left administration apparatchiks. In other words, he's a patriot.

I've listened to every broadcast for years and he's never mentioned Obama's birth certificate. Never.

As for you Fineman, well, we know what you are. You're a writer with no readers, appearing on a network with no viewers, who has failed at pretty much everything he's done, with a huuuge chip on his shoulder and a brain-pan full of ignorant.

Because Levin and Limbaugh have never -- ever -- talked about birth certificates or Kenya. So something must be bugging you. Really eating away at your psyche. Messing with your thimble-sized brain.

So, Howard: why are you a birther?