Tuesday, February 22, 2011

President Obama calls for collective bargaining rights for illegal aliens

Citing concerns that illegal aliens are facing increased opposition from U.S. natives worried about employment, MS-13 gang activity, and strained social services, President Obama launched his new "Undocumented Americans" initiative in a sparsely attended Rose Garden ceremony.

The president read from a prepared statement using his trademark twin teleprompters, asserting "...it is imperative that Undocumented Americans be granted collective bargaining rights" that will "force employers to take their demands seriously". Obama also noted that it would "level the playing field with documented Americans in the interest of global fairness."

In related news, President Obama proposed that his controversial, $53 billion high-speed rail project begin its daily run in Mexico City with express service to Phoenix and points west.

Continued on Page D-12

8 comments:

  1. Anonymous8:34 PM

    More specific sources about both ideas: collective bargaining rights for illegals and the high speed train that is to run from Mexico City to Phoenix would be very helpful. Thanks for the info.

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  2. Pine and Palmetto10:18 PM

    Hey, I can't find page D-12.

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  3. President BO is very close to the tipping point. The point beyond which the damage to America and the world is not reversible.

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  4. Anonymous10:58 PM

    He just can't stop being a douchebag, can he?

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  5. Anonymous2:52 AM

    Wow, the Nation's undocumented President said that?

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  6. @Bones - I was hoping it was obvious that this was satire, but apparently it's still too close to reality.

    Lesson learned.

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  7. I got the satire, but keep in mind that if the last 2 years were described in a futuristic novel, it would have been called a "dark comedy"

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  8. Anonymous4:06 PM

    I read it and was looking at the site to see if I was really at the Onion, and told my son, if this is true, Pres. Obama is even more Machiavellian than I thought - that he's really a conservative - the ultimate in wolf in sheeps clothing!!! Thanks for the heart attack, lol

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