Thursday, May 31, 2012

New York City's Official Acceptable Behavior Guidebook, by Mayor Michael Bloomberg

Hi, I'm Mayor Michael Bloomberg of New York City. And here's the first chapter of our Official Acceptable Behavior Guide for visitors to the Big Apple!


Crapping on official city vehicles, including police cars? A-okay!

Possessing soft drinks larger than 16 ounces in size? Sorry, you'll have to visit some other city for that!


Stay tuned for our next chapter, where we'll discuss heroin use versus salt consumption.


Hat tip: Aaron.

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6 comments:

  1. Barry Popik10:07 PM

    As many of you may know, I ran on Bloomberg's Republican ticket in 2005 for Manhattan Borough President. Twenty years ago, I solved why New York City is called "the Big Apple." The term was further popularized by the "Big Apple" bar in Harlem, at 135th Street and Seventh Avenue (Adam Clayton Powell Jf. Boulevard). Since the 1934, the distinctive "Big Apple" exterior had been a feature of that corner.

    In 2006, the "Big Apple" exterior was destroyed to make way for an artery-clogging fast food fried chicken (and soda!) restaurant. Someone saved the "Big Apple" during the demolition, asked me what New York City's history was worth, and said he wanted to sell it on eBay. I was horrified. (I had left NYC that year and now live in Texas).

    Michael Bloomberg doesn't care about your health. He doesn't care about New York City. He only cares about Michael Bloomberg. If you can do something for him, you're useful. If you can't help him personally, he won't talk to you.

    If Bloomberg gets away with changing the regulations on soda (without even a city council vote), then it's just the start.

    Bloomberg's money and power got him an illegal third term (overturning term limits without a public vote) that expires at the end of 2013. Police Chief Ray Kelly is supposedly lined up behind him.

    Bloomberg desperately wanted to be president, but Obama killed his chances. He also desperately wanted (and still wants) to be vice president, instead of Joe Biden. Who knows what he's planning to do now?

    Can't he just take up golf and stop trying to boss everybody's lives?

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  2. directorblue10:47 PM

    Popik for Mayor!

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  3. Barry Popik11:12 PM

    Bloomberg just lost Jon Stewart! (video available soon)

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  4. Anonymous8:21 AM

    On the 'yes' side,Bloomberg would more appropriately be on the right side of the photo,with the photo reversed.

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  5. Anonymous8:23 AM

    I meant with his photo reversed.

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  6. Anonymous12:08 PM

    I believe that the man leaning against the car is Michael Bloomberg.

    ReplyDelete