I found a picture of the President's pen.

It's shiny, smudge-free and fast drying.

I trust every Democrat will receive one:

It's especially useful for signing 2,000-page bills after they're rushed to the floor, loaded with special interests and pork, which not a single person has read.

You know: the ones you have to pass to find out what's in 'em. We know what's in 'em all right.