The 12 Top #JobsForISIS

By Rachel Stoltzfoos

#JobsForISIS was trending nationally this week, after State Department spokesman Marie Harf said the solution to stopping ISIS is not by killing them, but by giving them jobs.

The U.S.-led coalition is killing ISIS members, Harf said Monday night on MSNBC. “But we cannot win this war by killing them. We need to go after the root causes that leads people to join these groups, whether it’s lack of opportunity for jobs, whether …”

MSNBC host Chris Matthews interrupted Harf to point out “there’s always going to be poor Muslims.”

But Harf doubled down, arguing the U.S. should “help them build their economies so they can have job opportunities for these people.”

Here are twelve jobs Twitter users suggest the U.S. offer ISIS to stop them from beheading people:

1. Wal-Mart Greeter

#JobsForISIS pic.twitter.com/vY9t0lVrpa

— Rick Gemi (@Rick_Gemi) February 17, 2015

2. Personal trainers

#JobsForISIS Personal Trainers…They have the right shoes pic.twitter.com/AkylWMyrIM

— Rick Tapp (@rrt00004) February 17, 2015

3. Make all the bacon

#JobsForISIS Bacon maker pic.twitter.com/I3NTu5XfdG

— Teresa Α Ω (@BlackIrishI) February 17, 2015

4. Replace Jon Stewart

#JobsForIsis … You mean aside from the obvious? pic.twitter.com/qSDrt5Xt9R

— Steven Crowder (@scrowder) February 17, 2015

5. Obama’s security detail

Secret Security Detail #JobsForISIS pic.twitter.com/DOMA7WzHDS

— High Horse Crusader (@Jon_Locke) February 17, 2015

6. Landmine sweepers

#JobsForISIS LandMine Sweeper #Daesh pic.twitter.com/SedQ01UJzj

— Sandra ن (@SandraAlabama) February 17, 2015

7. Help Obama find his balls

#JobsForISIS help Obama find his balls pic.twitter.com/X2OBdJP88N

— Bossy Brat (@JGalt9) February 17, 2015

8. Ensure the proper fruitloop to milk ratio in YouTube star and Obama questioner Angela Morrison’s bathtub.

Ensuring the proper fruitloop to milk ratio in the presidential bath. #JobsForISIS pic.twitter.com/mvYn9iUqr5

— Angela Morrison (@angiequips) February 17, 2015

9. Obamacare poster boys

Pajama Boys… #JobsForISIS pic.twitter.com/AROsCbRzZ4

— Hollywood Resistance (@BettinaVLA) February 17, 2015

10. Babysit Uncle Joe

#JobsForISIS Babysitting crazy Uncle Joe #tcot pic.twitter.com/1nlz30B3AV

— Fred Wimpy (@fredwimpy) February 17, 2015

11. Create Halloween costumes

#JobsForISIS making #halloween costumes @marieharf pic.twitter.com/qewR6fVpu2

— Kookie DeMonster (@KookieDeMonster) February 17, 2015

12. Make Obama look good at basketball

Obama basketball buddies who pretend to play defense during his photo op #jobsforisis #tcot pic.twitter.com/qtJR8CzhT7

— RealFreedom1776 (@realfreedom1776) February 17, 2015

 

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