EXCLUSIVE: Agenda for 2020 Democrat National Convention

By John Ruberry

This could be parody. This could be prescient. It is the DNC agenda:

• Proceedings begin as Colin Kaepernick leads the delegates in taking a knee for the US flag.
• Pledge of allegiance to the United Nations.
• Native American blessing given by Sen. Elizabeth Warren.
• Andrew Cuomo introduces Democrats' 2020 campaign slogan, "America Was Never That Great."
• A vote on replacing all gender pronouns with "it."
• A vote on giving illegal aliens the right to vote in all elections... twice.
• Democratic National Committee chairman Tom Perez introduces Socialist Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, again declaring that she is the "future of our Marxist Death Cult... ehhh... movement".
• Ocasio-Cortez reminds delegates that there will be no need for funerals after "Medicare for All" is the law of the land.
• 
  First Two Minutes Ensemble: The delegates recreate the Hillary Clinton campaign's smashing of their Blackberry smartphones.
• Susan Rice blames the lackluster performance of the Obama economy on the posting of an obscure YouTube video.
• To mark the DNC's return from the midday adjournment, Bill Ayers denounces America as he steps on the US flag.
• A salute to the Young Democrat Socialist Death Cult of America, led by Nancy Pelosi, Joe Biden, and Bernie Sanders.
• John Podesta offers tips on how to create an unhackable email password.
• Chelsea Clinton speaks. There can be no joke line here, speaks for itself.
• Jimmy Carter and Barack Obama one-up each other on their Iran policies.
• Mid-afternoon nap for delegates begins as John Kerry addresses them.
• DNC Chant: Robert De Niro leads in rounds of "F*ck Donald Trump".
• Chicago mayor Rahm Emanuel introduces Democrats' get-tough-on-crime platform plank.
• Bill Clinton, wearing a pink pussy hat, praises the #MeToo movement.
• Lifetime fundraising achievement award presented to Harvey Weinstein.
• Proceedings end, with Antifa radicals burning the US flag to mark the convention's conclusion.

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