Heaviest Element Known to Science Discovered

Papa B sent this one in.

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science

The new element, *Governmentium (Gv)* has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are *held together by forces called morons*, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each *reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.*

This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as *critical mor ass*.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes *Administratium*, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.