You put the balm on?
I think you may have heard about the woman who was eating chili at Wendy's and bit into something hard. She spit it out... and it turned out to be a human finger. The stories imply that vomiting quickly ensued, followed by a projectile apology by Wendy's.
Of course, a lawsuit is more certain than William Hung getting shut out of a Grammy nomination.
I can so envision a Seinfeld episode with Jackie Chiles ("you put the balm on?") representing Elaine.
And a patriotic Kramer attempting to wrangle a business deal out of the debacle by harping on the protein benefits of human digits... and appealing to New Yorkers' patriotism by calling them "freedom fingers".