Friday, September 29, 2006

New Al Qaeda recruiting video

The new leader of al-Qaida in Iraq, one Abu Ayyub al-Masri, released a new recruiting message this week. The message was far more professional than previous versions. In fact, it showed a sophistication that bordered on Madison Avenue-quality. Thanks to our patented Blogotronic™ technology, we've summarized and translated the ad into a single, comprehensive blog post:

Have you ever wanted to visit exciting, scenic Iraq? Now, you can get treated like a high-roller, free!

You'll visit the beautiful Tigris River...

...see spectacular sights...

...fight the infidels...

...then blow yourself up in a glorious explosion!

We're up to 4,000 martyrs who've been... -er- ...martyred. Jump on in, the water's fine!

Worried about your career path? Here at Al-Qaeda, we've got truckbomb-loads of opportunities! I, for one, moved up from COO to President of Al-Qaeda-in-Iraq in only two short years.

And now, we're offering signing bonuses for nuclear scientists and explosives experts to join the fight!

Hell, we're not picky! We could use you, even if you're a dentist.

We can satisfy all of your scientific ambitions and there are plenty of innocent civilians on which you can test your unconventional weapons!

Uncle al-Masri needs you! So act now! This offer won't last much longer - unless Democrats take control of America's Congress!

Piping-hot good readin' just like Mama used to make:
Anchoress: Declaring themselves
Captain's Quarters: Senate Approves Detainee Bill By Wide Margin
Hugh Hewitt: It's the war, stupid
RWNH: Council has spoken: double pneumonia edition
Wizbang: Tomorrow's news today

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