Friday, November 24, 2006

2006 Turkey-of-the-Year Awards

As I come down off a tryptophan bender, the result of eating far more than the recommended amount of turkey, I happened to remember something. I'd forgotten to post my annual Turkey-of-the-Year awards! Yes, it's true. I'd completely neglected the top five list recognizing buffoonery in all its magnificent glory! As you may recall, the Turkey-of-the-Year awards have been appearing on this website since 1953 (the very early days of the Internet, to be sure) when Nikita Kruschev was the winner.

Thus, without further ado, the top five candidates for the 2006 Turkey-of-the-Year Award:

#5 - MSDNC commentator Keith Olbermann, who pilloried Fox News, the Rethuglican Party, President Bush, Karl Rove, and the concept of Global Cooling in a brilliant soliloquy entitled, "A Clockwork Strawberry." There's a fine line between genius and insanity, and that line is the skin-fold on Olbermann's neck.

#4 - PMSBC commentator Lawrence O'Donnell, the man who never lets logic get in the way of bluster. But there's a simple reason O'Donnell won't let opposing viewpoints get heard: his positions have no merit on their own. Screaming, yelling, whining, and -- in general -- talking-over opponents can't disguise the fact that O'Donnell has been consistently wrong about U.S. military veterans, Karl Rove's incipient PlameGate indictment, how "chicken-hawks" shouldn't discuss military matters, and a myriad other off-kilter arguments. Does O'Donnell really want the U.S. Armed Forces calling all the signals? After all, active-duty forces vote Republican at about a 70% clip and don't much care for pacifism in the face of violence. Of course not. But O'Donnell can't think that far ahead. He's inhaling deeply, preparing for another temper tantrum.

#3 - Hugo Chavez, Venezuela's chief dictator and human rights-violator, isn't above "amending" his country's constitution to ensure he can be president-for-life.

#2 - Jimmy Carter, America's worst president in history (by a significant margin), is an apologist for terrorists, dictators, and other anti-American thugs. To call Carter a disgrace is a mortal insult to real disgraces such as O.J. Simpson.

And #1, our 2006 Turkey-of-the-Year? It's obvious: Iran's proxy president Mahmoud Ahmedinejad. This turkey, a despotic nutcase with messianic delusions, has promised to destroy the United States, the U.K., and Israel (not necessarily in that order). Here's hoping this turkey gets stuffed: the sooner the better.

Oven-fresh good readin', just like Mama used to make:
Blue Crab Boulevard: Indifference
Confederate Yankee: Happy Thanksgiving
Hugh Hewitt: T-Day with the Troops
Nuke Gingrich: A Conservative’s Response to Michael Moore’s "Pledge"
OTB: Al Qaeda forces in Iraq engaging in convential battles
Radio Equalizer: Tucker Carlson, MSNBC Layoffs
RWN: Retro RWN
Samantha Burns: Moron revealed
STACLU: Scholarship creates outrage
USS Neverdock: Canadian anti-war movement's Islamist allies
Varifrank: Foggy headlines
Wizbang: Weekend Caption Contest

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