Doug Ross @ Journal

Toys You Had As a Kid That Would Be Outlawed Today Due to Potential Injury

Great thread on the normally... uhmmm... controversial FC discussion board.

I had a Tonka Dump Truck. Completely fabricated from the sharpest metal Tonka could find. It could take a finger off if not handled properly. No f--kin' way that baby makes it into the store today.

Stretch Armstrong, the kind filled with jelly. If around now, some hypo allergenic, ADD f--k wad would eat it and his tard parents would look to sue the korean manufacturer. The whole thing would be on a 20/20 segment hosted by John Stossel.

Bow & arrows. Arrows had easily-removed suction cup ends for putting other kids eyes out.

Jarts! aka "Lawn Darts", those things were deadly!

How about building models? Like ships, planes, aircraft. Do you think any parent today would let model glue into the house?

Air blasters. Ingenious guns you would pump and fire. They would shoot a blast of air in the form of a torus that was amazingly stable and could travel across a room. Of course, it only took kids about 10 minutes to figure out they could also fire rocks, nails, etc.

This thing called, I think, the Flexy Racer. It was a sled on wheels and you could steer it somewhat but I don't recall it having brakes.

And a Mattel creation called Crispy Critters. You baked gel in these bug molds. The sadistic part was you could slam them out of the hot molds into someone's hand and you'd end up with the burn mark of a bug. God!

A slinky. Certainly doubles for a garotte.

Wait a minute--wait a minute--Bangsite! Evil smelling granular crap that came in a kind of a toothpaste tube. (I think it was calcium carbide.) Mixing Bangsite with water made an explosive gas. Rich kids had Bangsite cannons, heavy cast iron things that were relatively safe to use. The rest of us took a metal baking soda can and punched a nail hole through the bottom. This turned the can into a three-man, crew-served weapon. One kid tipped some Bangsite into the can, spat on it, jammed the lid on, and placed the can on the edge of the curb. Second kid put his foot on the can to brace it. Third kid applied the match to the nail hole. KAF--KINGBOOM! with a burst of flame, and the lid goes flying clear across the street. I still cannot believe that my parents knew I was doing this, and let me.

The Green Machine. You would steer with these two levers between your legs. Hit a curb hard enough and those babys were burying themselves into your n-ts-ck.

All Aluminum snow sleds. On a good hill you could go upwards of 60+ MPH. F--king things are banned now.

The rocket you filled with water, and then pumped it full of air! Too many kids let it fly with their head in the way.

I'm now remembering how much fun it was slapping someone with those bright orange Hot Wheels track strips!

Wrist Rockets? Basically a sling shot that wraped around your wrist and used heavy rubber tubes as the bands, You could also buy ball bearing like ammo. This thing was basically a .38 Cal and was deadly.

Toys You Had As a Kid That Would Be Outlawed Today Due to Potential Injury