Thursday, November 24, 2005

How to write unmaintainable code


Looking for job security in the burgeoning world of Information Technology? Worried that someone else will take over your application and improve it dramatically, making you look like a loser?

Well, stop worrying and order the How to Write Unmaintainable Code guide by Roedy Green... today! Just follow the detailed instructions in this easy-to-use guide and virtually guarantee yourself a lifetime of software maintenance opportunities!

Act now and we'll throw in this free Code Obfuscator that renders software virtually unreadable! Hurry, operators (and constructors) are standing by:

Buy a copy of a baby naming book and you'll never be at a loss for variable names. Fred is a wonderful name, and easy to type. If you're looking for easy-to-type variable names, try adsf or aoeu if you type with a DSK keyboard.

If you must use descriptive variable and function names, misspell them. By misspelling in some function and variable names, and spelling it correctly in others (such as SetPintleOpening SetPintalClosing) we effectively negate the use of grep or IDE search techniques. It works amazingly well. Add an international flavor by spelling tory or tori in different theatres/theaters.

Use acronyms to keep the code terse. Real men never define acronyms; they understand them genetically

Randomly capitalize the first letter of a syllable in the middle of a word. For example ComputeRasterHistoGram()


How To Write Unmaintainable Code

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