If the New York Times were a real newspaper...

...it might look something like this.




Oven-fresh good readin', just like Mama used to make:
Andrew Bolt: Don't mention the Jihadist war
Captain's Quarters: Read between the lines (Global warming... and global cooling!)
Conservative Cat: The 'If I did it' Book Series... (Hat tip: Don Surber)
Dr. Sanity: Displacement and cowards of the MSM
Gateway Pundit: One of Kerry's Dummies Shows some Heart and Rangel calls to reinstate draft
Hugh Hewitt: Al Jazeera Jitters
Outside the Beltway: No grunting allowed at the Gym
Rick Moran: Dems better not be hasty about Hastings
RWN: Best of the weekend
STACLU: The man who wanted to be King
Wizbang: Great minds run in similar channels, or fools think alike

The impeccable logic of the Democrats

I'll admit that most of us Democrats voted for the war, but it was only because Bush lied about WMDs.


He deceived us!!


If there's one thing we can tell from watching CNN, it's that Iraq is a pointless, intractable quagmire.


And Baghdad is devolving into a civil war, the likes of which we haven't seen since Shiloh or Antietam.


And, after all this time, we still haven't captured Osama Bin Laden.


We absolutely must redeploy our troops from Iraq to Okinawa!


Let me see if I get this straight. We should "redeploy" our troops to Okinawa.


And we need to find Bin Laden.


So how -- exactly -- will cutting-and-running from Iraq to Okinawa help us to find Bin Laden?


Don't put words in my mouth!!!


And it's not "cutting-and-running"! It's "redeployment!"

The No Zone

Gateway Pundit alerts us to yet another hypocritical position on the part of the ostensible Democratic leadership. Yes, I know, the Democrats? Hypocritical? I'm sure you're stunned at the prospect.

Democrats claim they want energy independence, but their strategy is nonsensical, to say the least. Their so-called strategy? I encourage you to read their position paper because I'm not making this stuff up.


* Tax and fine oil companies, most of which are public companies and owned by any investor who cares to purchase shares and receive profits in the form of dividends. Taxes, fines, and legal fees are certain to hamper American oil firms' R&D and exploration. Even a caveman can arrive at the sum of this equation: it will end up costing consumers even more at the pump.


* Democrats also want to create a new strategic oil reserve in addition to the existing one. This will, of course, be paid for by the American consumer and require more government bureaucracy to administer. Presumably this will "smooth out" spikes in gas prices that seem to occur every ten or twenty years. Oh, but a brand-spanking new Government agency will be worth it, I'm sure!


* Democrats want to create yet another Government agency to create "Revolutionary Energy Technologies" (as if there aren't already enough free-market incentives for new energy alternatives). This boondoggle is a lock to flush billions of dollars of taxpayers' hard-earned funds down the commode and is certain to result in nothing more than a giant herd of Government employees.


* Oh, brother, I can't even begin to describe this one. Another core tenet of the Democrats' plans? And I quote: "Creating a tire fuel efficiency program. Proper inflation of tires and replacing old tires with fuel-efficient tires could save 470,000 barrels of oil per day by 2013. Democrats propose creating a national tire fuel efficiency program." Guess what? This inspired piece of lunacy would entail yet another Governmental bureaucracy sure to set fire to billions of dollars.

Meanwhile, back in the real world, United States Senator Larry Craig (R-ID) has assembled a powerful set of graphs that illustrate the real problem... and a potential solution.


The problem? U.S. oil consumption greatly exceeds domestic production. This gap will only increase, even as alternative sources of fuel (such as ethanol and other biofuels) come on-line.


In the mean time, Cuba is permitting foreign countries to drill within 50 miles of Florida! That's right, countries such as China are already drilling without our permission within spitting-distance of the U.S. Do the Democrats care?


No. The Democrats have vowed to suppress oil exploration in the areas marked "No." That's "The No Zone", where promising reserves go untapped, even while China drains oil from the Gulf of Mexico.


Drilling in ANWR? Where, if ANWR were the size of a football field, exploration would take place on a postage stamp-sized piece of land? No - the Democrats oppose that. New refineries? Of course not. The Democrats oppose those, too.

They say they want oil independence and instead force Americans to become more dependent upon foreign oil each and every day.

Preposterous? Ludicrous? Of course. It's just business as usual with the current Democratic leadership.

Sometimes I think the only thing keeping the Earth aligned on its axis is the gyroscopic energy of FDR, Truman and JFK spinning in their graves.


Hat tips: Gateway Pundit and Larwyn

Oven-baked good reading, just like Mama used to make:
Captain's Quarters: CBS misleads viewers, again
Hugh Hewitt: Bravo, Claudia. Bravo, Ambassador Bolton.
Outside the Beltway: The newest talking point
Rick Moran: I dare you to make me a Democrat
Sister Toldjah: Dems want to identify pork sponsors...
STACLU: Reichert wins
Wizbang: 2006 Weblog Awards - Nominations Are Now Open!

National Defense 101: A public service for "Progressives"

In our continuing efforts to educate "Progressives" as to the nature of the enemy, we present the first course material for National Defense 101 - an Introduction to the Enemy and Methods to Defeat it. This easy-to-follow, illustrated guide literally spells out the basics for our less-educated friends on the Left.

What are Democrats saying about National Defense 101?* "It helped me beat a moonbat in '04, becoming one of the first Blue-Dog Democrats!" --Rep. Dennis Moore (D-KS)     "ND 101 helped me become one of the most conservative Democrats in Congress!" --Mike McIntyre (D-NC)         "I've learned to be pro-defense, pro-gun and anti-tax!" --Rep. Mike Ross (D-AR)

Ready to get started?

Lesson 1: The NSA Terrorist Surveillance Program

Many "progressives" decry the NSA Terrorist Surveillance Program that wiretaps international communications between U.S. citizens and terrorist enclaves. There are many legal arguments that bolster the argument for the legal validity of these wiretaps, given the fact that they transit the border into other countries.

But here's a simple example that demonstrates why this surveillance is entirely legal and always has been.


Let's say you've saved up some money for the big trip you've always wanted to take. You want to visit Egypt and see the pyramids, the Sphinx, and Luxor.


In preparation for the trip, of course, you'll need a passport that represents permission to leave and re-enter the country.


Once you get to the airport, you'll go through security, where your person and belongings can be searched without a warrant.


And because you're traveling on an international flight, you and your baggage will also go through Customs.


Customs may elect to detain you, search you and your belongings again, all without a warrant.


Any and all belongs, including your clothing, can be searched.


After submitting to these various -- entirely legal -- inspections, you are free to continue your trip. Provided, of course, you are not concealing contraband or other illegal items.


The NSA International Terrorist Surveillance Program, as described by the New York Times, is entirely legal. It is no different than the type of scrutiny an international traveler undergoes.


Given the prevalence of disposable, prepaid cell-phones, waiting for a warrant to track calls to terrorist enclaves in foreign countries isn't remotely feasible.


Acting quickly to track these international communications isn't just legal, it's a requirement in today's world.


Lesson Learned: Listening in on international calls isn't any different than the scrutiny all international travelers expect throughout the world.



Oven-fresh good readin', just like Mama used to make:
Blue Crab Boulevard: Voting ourselves off the island
Captain's Quarters: Return To First Principles
Kevin McCullough: Libs: standing on the shoulders of crash dummies
Michelle Malkin: Debunking a YouTube moonbat
OTB: Feingold punts
Sister Toldjah: What the far left expects from a Democratic Congress
STACLU: Advice From The Captain On Surviving The Midterms
Wizbang: Read this!

* Not really, but who's counting?

An Illustrated Guide to Democratic Election Celebrations

"Since Washington’s hostile and hawkish policies have always been against the Iranian nation, this defeat is actually an obvious victory for the Iranian nation." --Iran’s Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei

Flashback "We have a strategy drawn up for the destruction of Anglo-Saxon civilization... we must make use of everything we have at hand to strike at this front by means of our suicide operations or by means of our missiles. There are 29 sensitive sites in the U.S. and in the West. We have already spied on these sites and we know how we are going to attack them." --Hassan Abbassi, Iran's top military strategist

"The American people have put their feet on the right path by ... realizing their president's betrayal in supporting Israel. So they voted for something reasonable in the last elections... We will not rest from our jihad until we are under the olive trees of [Jersualem] and we have blown up the filthiest house -- which is called the White House." --Abu Hamza al-Muhajir, head of al-Qaeda in Iraq


"The mid-term elections were not so much a competition between the Democrats and the Republicans as a slap in the face to the Bush era and administration." --Iran's al-Vefagh


"The Republican defeat in the US elections is a defeat for President Bush's foreign policy, especially in Iraq. We hope this will lead to a review of the aspects of US foreign policy which many Americans oppose, including the blind bias to Israeli policy at the expense of Palestinian and Arab rights." --Palestinian al-Quds


"Iraq has been the dominant factor in helping the US Democrats win a Congress majority, and the failure of the Republicans is due to the same reason. Another essential reason which was not immediately obvious is that the President George Bush has failed big-time in accomplishing any kind of development in the peace process between the Palestinians and the Israelis." --Syria's Tishrin


"Following the US Congress mid-term elections, that witnessed a big victory of the US Democrats in a clear referendum on President Bush's Iraq policy, everybody in the Middle East is keenly hoping for wiser American policies in the region" --Saudi Arabia's al-Watan


"The victory of the Democrats in America's election was very good news, not because the Democrats are better than the Republicans, but because it will create tensions in the American system. When the Americans don't have problems inside their country, they create problems for other countries, so it is very good if they bite each other for a while." -- Iran's Keyhan


"Last evening in America promised to be an agreeable one. From the outset, one knew that the Democrats were going to have a breakthrough. But real bliss began at dawn, when the spirit of war subsided, with its procession of speculating Texas oilmen and maniacal fundamentalists." --Dominique Dhombres, writing in France's Le Monde


"President Bush is no longer acceptable worldwide." --Suleiman Hadad, Syrian MP


"Winning is not a strategy. Victory is not a strategy." --Rep. John Murtha (D-PA)


"Allahu Akbar! Allahu Akbar! Allahu Akbar!" --Supporters of new Congressman Keith Ellison (D-MN) at victory celebration


"[The] U.S. vote is a victory for Iran." --Ayatollah Khamenei, Iran's Supreme Leader

Flashback "Is it possible for us to witness a world without America and Zionism? ...you had best know that this... goal [is] attainable..." --Mahmound Ahmedinejad, President of Iran

* * *
Gateway Pundit notes that, "...the bases are now covered... every major enemy of the US is celebrating the democratic win on Tuesday! Syria, Iran, Al Qaeda, Venezuela, North Korea, even Cuba ." TigerHawk sums it up:

When you cite "world opinion" of George W. Bush as a reason to vote against him or his party, you cannot then object if others cite the opinions of enemies and adversaries who delight in your victory.

Oven-fresh good readin', just like Mama used to make:
Anchoress: Okay, Anchoress, why so optimistic?
Betsy's Page: Why is al-Qaeda happy over the election results?
Captain's Quarters: Not going to bite
Hugh Hewitt: Questions for new House leadership candidates and Just the Numbers, Please
JustOneMinute: C'mon, ask a tough one!
OTB: More on carrying water
Rick Moran: Special guest: A.J. Strata
Sister Toldjah: They know
STACLU: Free-for-all
Wizbang: If you appreciate your freedom...

Super-secret transcript from NSA Surveillance Program

You can't breathe a word of this to anyone, but we've gotten our hands on another transcript from the NSA terrorist surveillance program. Shhhhhh... let's listen in.



'ello?


Mahmoud, baby, it's me - John Conyers!


Hehe. Hugo, you can't pull the woolen underwear over my eyes! Your voice is as distinctive as a toot in the Mullahs' chambers!


Hey, I just wanted to say congratulations on your Commissioner's speech last night. That was gold, Mahmoud! Gold!


You mean, "the Democrats' victory in the US election will prepare the ground for a smoother exit of Americans from the Iraq quagmire created by President Bush"?


That's the one. Where do you get that material? I can't find anything of that quality. My speechwriters keep dying off...


You must read my favorite reference for this sort of thing: The Collected Works of Ted Kennedy. No one has mastered the language of American defeat and depression quite like Ol' Tipsy. *Sigh* Remember when he called Iraq an "intractable quagmire?" Sheer poetry.


You're right - he's the Robert Frost of liquored-up Senators.


Hey, there was never any proof that he was drunk during the Chappadquidick Incident!


No proof other than the missing car, the dead girl, and the ten hours he waited to report it to police -- oops -- hold on, I've got another call.


'Allo?


Jacques! Let me patch you in, Mahmoud's on the line.


Bon, good, good.


Hey, we're all on the line here. Jacques, what's up, diggety-dawg?


Just wanted to say congratulations to you both on the Democratic victory! You guys really contributed: Hugo, your UN performance comparing Bush to the devil... and Mahmoud's brilliant sabotaging of Iraq's democracy... this is a fantastic day!


Why, thank you, Jacques. I'm... blushing...


You guys knew the Democrats couldn't wait to start sabotaging the war effort! Voting against the war before voting for it. Brilliant! And then with some help from the American media...


Some help? Mahmoud, how much are you paying the Times? Is this some kind of oil-for-op-eds program? I mean, every editorial that Dowd, Rich, and Herbert wrote for the last six years has been anti-administration! They've got to be getting paid!


Heck, no! They do it for free! They hate Bush. I just send 'em an email with some suggestions and nine out of ten times, there's an op-ed the next day!


Sacré bleu! That Maureen Dowd... what a vixen! All I know is, with the Democratic victory, we're so happy here in France, we're burning cars to celebrate!


There's only one thing I... I fear.


What's that?


Well, you've got the possibility of Nancy Pelosi reverting to her ultra-liberal ways, the Democrats trying to impeach Bush, and them screwing up an excellent economy...


...and, you mean, if they screw things up? What do you fear?


Three words:


President. Newt. Gingrich.


Cheesus! Don't even joke about that. I nearly wet my pants!


Hat tips: Gateway Pundit and Larwyn

Piping-hot good readin', just like Mama used to make:
Anchoress: A few random thoughts
Blue Crab Boulevard: AP trumpets Mehlman will step down
Captain's Quarters: Troops fear the loss of Rumsfeld
Hugh Hewitt: Tony Snow on Tuesday's Vote, Judges, and Immigration
Outside the Beltway: Mehlman out as RNC Chair
Rick Moran: Allen graciously concedes
STACLU: Republican Purge Continues as Dems Assume Leadership Role
Wizbang: A Tribute to Donald Rumsfeld