Wednesday, April 21, 2004

Tech Support Repartee

Running an Effective Help Desk, 2nd EditionWhen I worked at a consumer software company that shall remain nameless, we had a database feature called "Zap". This would not only delete the database and its underlying tables, but it would rewrite the area of the disk where the tables were, scrubbing it clean to meet some infosec requirement.

Anyhow, since this was such a destructive operation, the user interface would confirm the user's desire to Zap with a series of escalatingly alarming prompts.

"Are you sure you want to Zap the database? This operation will destroy the database entirely and cannot be undone."


"Are you absolutely certain you want to Zap..."


"Please confirm that you want to Zap... this is your final warning..."

So not long after adding this feature came the invariable tech support request (add hick accent if it helps):

"Ah jest zapped mah database and I wanna get it back. How kin I get it back?"

The tech support rep thought for a while and came up with the best response to this type of request that I've yet heard:

"Sir, do you have access to a time machine? Because time travel is about the only thing that will get you that data back..."

p.s., I'm licensed to use and parody hick accents as I was raised in West Virginia.

The Joel on Software Forum - Tech support repartee

Top Ten Worst Album Covers of All-Time

Top Ten Worst Album Covers of All-TimeThis is funny. Mad props to "L" (or whoever emailed her the link... probably "M").

Have you ever been to one of those parties where everyone sits expectantly and watches two people dance around like retards in a retard shop? Right. No one has, because those parties don't happen. Maybe it was a simpler time when songs like “Poor Little Fool” and “Splish Splash” had some kind of mind controlling power over teenagers. It caused them to pull their pants up too high and wear the worst socks ever made. No wonder there was such condemnation of Rock and Roll in the fifties. Look at what it did to their stupid kids. Granted, this one isn’t terribly offensive, but they get worse...

Top Ten Worst Album Covers of All-Time

Uhmmm... some more Top Ten Worst Album Covers of All-Time

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