Pork Lite presents... Real Men of Congress.
Real men of Con-gress...
Today we salute you, Senator Socialized Medicine Expander...
Senator Socialized Medicine Expander...
Your generous proposal to expand the SCHIP program covers illegal immigrants...
...and families who make as much as $83 grand a year.
But I can't afford a Rolex...
You want to expand the SCHIP socialized medicine program by $35 billion dollars over five years...
...and cover "children" who are as old as
25...
My son's a linebacker in the NFL...
Never mind that programs like Medicaid and Medi-cal already cover poverty-stricken kids...
Your campaign sound-bites make it sound like your opponents hate tots...
OwwwWWW, the Republicans broke my leg...!
In fact, nearly half of the
old SCHIP programs' funds went to adults...
...and your expansion would be
funded by cigarette taxes that hit the poorest Americans hardest.
Can I bum a smoke?
So crack open an ice-cold box of Pork Lite wine, oh Senator Nicotine Healthcare Tax. We know that no matter what your constituents want, you'll vote to increase our taxes and run the healthcare system right into the tarmac.
Senator Socialized Medicine Expander...Real Men of Congress, Washington DC, 20001.
Linked by Dr. Sanity's Carnival of the Insanities. Thanks!
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click on over.
Pork Lite presents... Real Men of Congress.
Real men of Con-n-n-gress
Today we salute you, Representative unindicted co-conspirator!
When folks said you couldn't send billions of dollars in defense spending to tiny towns in Western Pennsylvania, you proved them wrong...
You awarded no-bid contracts over the objections of the Pentagon, the DEA, the White House, and federal auditors.
And when nosy reporters found out that you'd directed $250 million to non-profits headed by your friends and family...
You just blamed it on a right-wing conspiracy... even though your net worth soared $11 million in four years.
Or when you were videotaped taking a hundred grand during an FBI sting operation...
You claimed you were just trying to help the feds, though you stashed ninety grand in your freezer.
And when nay-sayers claimed you couldn't direct billions to your husband's defense firm, even while you were serving on a defense appropriations committee, ...you just laughed at them!
So crack open an ice-cold box of Pork Lite wine, oh Senator Conflict-of-Interest. We know that when it comes to your personal integrity, only two things matter... that we're not wearing a wire and that we've got a cashier's check made out to your son-in-law.
