Doug Ross @ Journal

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

The Einstein of the political age: Keith Olbermann

That would be Fred Einstein -- no relation to Albert -- who works third shift at the Speedway on the corner. Here's a capsule summary of Olbie's most recent video excretion.

Welcome to PMSBC. I'm Keith Olbermann and this is... ... ... .... My Word.

We've seen over lo these many decades the disintegration of any sense of dignity on the part of the Republican party.

The Rethuglicans have the unmitigated gall, the undecanted audacity to use fear to gain votes.

The GOPpers continually tell us that a terrorist attack is likely when my advisers indicate such an attack has virtually no chance of success.

Isn't that right, advisers?

Apologies, they seem to be indisposed.

Simply put, nothing could be further from the truth. There is literally a zero-point-zero percent chance of a terrorist attack anytime within the next three or four decades.

After which time, I'll be dead, so any subsequent attacks won't matter.

Read my lips: no terror attacks. Anytime. Anywhere.

So, bottom line, these crazed chimps -- America's latest incarnation of the Nazi party, aided and abetted by the troglodyte propagandists at Fox -- employ all fear, all the time to advance their agenda. The drumbeat of fear, fear, fear is incessant and annoying.

In addition, the Rethuglicans will cut your social security, Grandma.

They will eliminate school lunches, making our children go hungry.

They are certain to gut Medicare, leaving old people helpless in the street, their bodies wracked and broken by the weight of medical bills they can't pay.

Grandma will be eating dogfood.

The budget will be balanced on the backs of the poor.

Further devastation of the welfare program -- like the ill-fated Welfare Reform Act of 1996, only worse -- is certain to harm the least able.

Rethuglicans will give away all our money to the rich.

And leave a catastrophically damaged environment in their wake.

Put simply, Rethuglicans are certain to destroy Social Security and Medicare, kick the poor and elderly to the curb, and utterly devastate the environment, leaving the Earth a shattered, hollow husk that can no longer support life of any kind.

Using fear won't work this time, Rethuglicans!