Thursday, December 07, 2006

Deep inside the Iraq Survey Group

It simply goes without saying. We can't disclose sources or methods. But courtesy of our patented Blogotronic Recorder™, we've happened upon a video of the Iraq Survey Group's final meeting. This transcript captures the last few minutes before the report's release. Sit back, light a cigar, and enjoy the wisdom of the august ISG in action.

Lee, how many blue-ribbon commissions have you chaired now?
Well, if you count America's Top Senior Model, that'd be nine.
Impressive. The 9/11 Commission, the ISG, and Top Senior Model. That's like winning the Triple Crown of geriatrics. Dammit, just forgot what I was gonna say. Oh... got it: are you almost done proofreading the report?
Do you spell retreat with an "ee" or an "ea"?
Dammit, you senile old coot, it's an "ea"! Er... what time is supper?
You've got to admit: this report is sheer genius. Negotiating with Iran and Syria is the key. And no one thought of it before us!
I know! We've still got it. Ya' see that waitress at lunch? She was checkin' us out.
She could smell the testosterone in the room. It's pungent in here.
*** Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrripp *** Whoa. Excuse me! That damn bean soup shore didn't agree with my belly.
Dammit! Not again, Baker! Where's the air freshener?
You havin' any second thoughts about this recommendation?
Whatcha mean?
Well, doesn't it seem like we're going to be back in the Middle East a quarter-century from now, fighting a much larger-scale, much bloodier conflict?
James. Do I look like I'm going to care 25 years from now?
Point taken. Hey, are we done yet? I think it's nappy time.

Oven-baked good readin', just like Mama used to make:
Anchoress: 2006 Weblog Awards
Captain's Quarters: Cleanse the Code
Confederate Yankee: Steyn Rips AP Over Bias
Flopping Aces: The Socialist Love-Fest
Gateway Pundit: Howard Dean meets with European Socialists
Hang Right: Carter called out by long-time aide for lies in latest book
Hugh Hewitt: Roggio in Fallujah
Nuke Gingrich: Iraq Study Group
OTB: Bank robbery = Political statement?
STACLU: An Arab Failure - not Bush's Failure
Rick Moran: Is Iraq already lost?
Wizbang: The Merry Christmas Debate

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