Sunday, December 17, 2006

Kofi's job interview

I must say that your background as senior executive of a global organization is impressive.

Thank you. It was a complex organization to manage. Thousands of people, many different missions.

Understood. Let's delve into some of these aspects more closely. For instance: it looks like you oversaw one of the largest bribery operations in history...

Yes, it was quite lucrative. Mr. Sevan, who organized it, personally took in about $160 thousand, right under the noses of auditors and financial controllers. Of course, the real amounts were...

Yes, in the tens of billions. As I said, impressive. And your procurement staff was very skilled as well. Could you summarize their activities?

For many years, the procurement staff was able to operate successfully. More recently, though, we've had a few challenges. Mr. Kuznetsov, the head of the budget oversight committee, was recently indicted on money-laundering charges. And Mr. Yakovlev had to plead guilty to skimming about a million dollars worth of contracts. But, you know, that's going to happen. Sometimes the little fish get caught...

Indeed. Now, before you became head of the operation, you were in charge of peacekeeping efforts. Tell me a little bit about that role.

Well, despite the best efforts of our peacekeepers, it did turn out that few Tutsis were killed in Rwanda.

A few?

Maybe 800,000 or so. But certainly not a million! A few thousand Bosnians and, later, some unavoidable catstrophes occurred in Darfur, Zimbabwe, the Congo, North Korea...

Got it. What's interesting is how you dealt with all of the political heat surrounding the Human Rights Council. Very creative...

Yes, we created a Human Rights Commission to supplant it. Our first order of business, of course, was to condemn Israel... and only Israel.

Well, I've got to tell you that this is all very promising. We're going to check some references and should be able to get back to you in a few days.

Barring any surprises, it's safe to say we'll be welcoming you to our Organized Crime Family next week!

Kofi-related: IowaHawk (in a comic smackdown of biblical proportions), New York Daily News - 'The Kofi Stain', New York Sun, RedState - Israel & America still exist despite his best efforts, Captain's Quarters, Jules Crittenden, Michelle Malkin, AmericanPundit, Tutakai

Oven-fresh good readin', just like Mama used to make:
OTB: Vodkapundit health watch
STACLU: The ACLU vs. Prayer
Wizbang: I'd like to thank all of the little people who made this possible...

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