Tuesday, December 19, 2006

John Connor and Danny Bonaduce: Unrated Edition

In case you're one of the four folks who haven't seen it on YouTube, 9/11 "Truther" John Connor surprised pseudo-celebrity Danny Bonaduce with an impromptu interview. Bonaduce promptly smacked Connors into video infamy with a surprisingly powerful retort. But what most folks haven't seen is the final segment. It's been carefully reconstructed here even though someone -- who shall remain nameless, Joey -- recorded America's Next Top Model over it.

So, Mr. Bonaduce, you deny that the spaghetti here is served al dente?

Hell yes, I deny it! I'm eating it right now! It's as soft as toothpaste!

But what do you say to experts like Claus Von Baggins, who can prove this bistro always serves its pasta... al dente-style?

I'd say they're not here right now.

Then what do you say about the 30% of survey respondents who believe that all pasta served here is al dente?

I'd say they're either idiots... or they haven't eaten here.

But what about Operation Manurewoods, the declassified city memo that ordered all restaurants within city limits to serve their pastas al dente?

I have no idea what you're talking about. Why would the city dictate how a damn restaurant serves its pasta?

So you admit you don't know about this shocking memo?

Tell you what. Try the pasta yourself. Here.

Ugh. Yesssss. I guess the noodles are pretty soggy. My bad. Sorry for bothering you.


Man, I shoulda listened to my dad and stayed in the Kennedy-assassination-conspiracy business.

Oven-baked good readin', just like Mama used to make:
Anchoress: A red one, please
Captain's Quarters: No blood for blood
OTB: Beltway traffic jam
Rick Moran: Looking into the face of eternity
RUA: Must-read New Yorker article (hat tip: Gateway Pundit)
Samantha Burns: The String Game
STACLU: The ACLU's future client: robots!
Wizbang: Cheney to be Called as a Defense Witness in Libby Trial
Wuzzadem: Man, that cracker is old

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