Latest Cover of New York Magazine Frightening Women, Children and Brothel Owners

I refer, of course, to this gem:

With disgraced politicians Anthony Weiner and Eliot Spitzer running for mayor and comptroller of the big apple, New York Magazine decided to feature both of them on the cover.

The effect is rather… unsettling.

I can almost hear Igor in the background saying yes master…

cover of monday's @nymag. wow. http://t.co/WwKrxznxBA—
Audrey Gelman (@audreygelman) July 13, 2013

Suddenly I don't feel like eating.

CNN Execs Shocked to Discover That Disgraced Perv and Liberal Media Hack Somehow Don't Resonate With Mr. and Mrs. America

Go figure: a hapless, failed politician with zero media experience and a pathetic drone of an op-ed writer have achieved the lowest Nielsen ratings for CNN in a decade. And, given its programming over that period, that's really quite an accomplishment.

CNN’s prime time ratings woes are only increasing with [its] new program Parker Spitzer.

Monday night was the lowest weekday prime time rating average in more than 10 years, since June 28, 2000. And it wasn’t just the 8pmET that was seeing low ratings.

Larry King had even lower ratings tha [sic] Parker Spitzer, with just 196,000 total viewers. That’s less than Rachel Maddow’s A25-54 demo average in the same hour...

My careful analysis has determined that Parker-Spitzer and King's combined ratings trailed those of MSNBC's Mr. Ed show. Another hilarious stat: the re-run of O'Reilly at 11pm beats the 8pm Olbermann slot in prime time. By 150%.

Eh, that can't be good.

I tried to start a helpful meme on Twitter (#ParkerSpitzerReplacements) to suggest some alternative pairings for CNN, but so far the company's executives haven't sent me a thank you note.


Linked by: Michelle Malkin. Thanks!

An Inconvenient Masseuse

The National Enquirer appears to have a police report that makes Al Gore look very weird indeed:

AL GORE has been accused of sexually attacking a masseuse in Portland, Oregon - and is named in the official police report about the alleged assault, The ENQUIRER has learned exclusively!

The bombshell story will appear in the new issue of The ENQUIRER and will include the secret police documents, a photo of the woman making the stunning charges and will reveal the shocking details about the pants she saved as evidence!

Our investigative team uncovered the amazing story just weeks after the former Vice President announced that he and wife TIPPER were ending their 40-year marriage - amidst reports she suspected her husband was involved with "a gorgeous massage therapist."

We have verified the 62-year-old former VP was in Portland at the time of the alleged incident - Oct. 24, 2006 - and we saw the $540 massage bill.

No criminal charges were brought against Gore, but the Portland police prepared a document marked "Confidential Special Report" - which records the explosive allegations of "unwanted sexual contact" by Al Gore "at a local upscale hotel."

The ENQUIRER is withholding the name of the 54-year-old woman making the stunning accusations because she is potentially a sex-crime victim...

If acquitted of the charges, rumor has it that Gore's next career move may be a prime-time show on CNN, possibly in the slot after Eliot Spitzer's new program.


Update: Jammie wonders whether former Clinton crony David Kendall still works for the Enquirer.

Congrats! Dems sweep the 2008 Naughtiest Politician Awards!

A national CNN/Opinion Research poll reveals the top three Naughtiest Politicians of 2008. May I have the envelope please, Vanna?

Bronze: John Edwards (D-Sleazebag), who cheated with Rielle Hunter on his cancer-stricken wife and reportedly fathered a not-so-secret love child.

Silver: Love Client #9, former New York Governor Elliot Spitzer (D-Hypocrisy), who was ensnared in the rollup of a high-end prostitution ring.

Gold: Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich (D-Batsh*t crazy), seemingly involved in so many pay-to-play schemes he probably had a dedicated IT staff to keep all of the grifts straight.

Honorable mentions weren't listed, but I'm betting they included Charlie Rangel (D-Tax Man), Chris Dodd (D-HUD Statement), Allan Mollohan (D-Self-made Millionaire), John Murtha (D-Porkmeister), and William Jefferson (D-Freezer Burn).

Linked by: Gateway Pundit. Thanks!

Eliot ("I'm a f****ing steamroller") Spitzer gets flattened

 
Eliot ("I'm a f***ing steamroller") Spitzer was just pounded flatter than a tater-tot stashed under Michael Moore's mattress. The Washington Post reports that Spitzer has (ahem) reconsidered his plan to issue drivers licenses to illegal aliens ("Spitzer Drops License Plan, But Damage to Democrats is Done"):

After all the hoopla, N.Y. Gov. Eliot Spitzer is dropping his plan to provide driver's licenses to illegal immigrants. But the damage to the Democratic presidential candidates - and, overwhelmingly, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton - is done.

Clinton waffled on the question of whether she supported the Spitzer proposal during an Oct. 30 debate that has haunted her in the weeks since. In her answer that night, Clinton both defended and objected to the idea of giving permits to undocumented residents...

Word has it that Hillary's staffers were madder than hornets at Spitzer and forced his hand. Why? Because any issue where she is forced to explain her true position is certain to upset the vast majority of American people. And this issue can't be triangulated: it's either "Yes, I support drivers licenses for illegals" or "No, I don't."

These kinds of questions are the ones that Hillary despises because they force her to take a stand. And taking a stand is certain to result in the Queen Triangulator's defeat.